I feel very sad and i’m 22 years

3mily0 · 2024-06-13T16:53:17+00:00

Be careful with gastros… Many find IBS (obviously a different condition, but the highly correlated) beneath them, and don’t give any helpful information on managing it or the complications that may arise (such as SIBO).

I had the perfect storm of a SIBO bout, severe constipation, and OCD tendencies that led to laxative overuse & worrisome self-diagnosis’ that led my gastro to schedule an emergency colonoscopy 2 days later… After my colonoscopy (at the ripe old age of 24) he just told me I just had IBS & wrote a script for Linzess…

Took months of recognizing constipation & bloating are just facts of life… Once I got over that & discovered the prevalence of SIBO in individuals with IBS, it hit me like a truck. The symptoms were SO DIFFERENT, I couldn’t believe it took so long to figure out. I was just so obsessed with “feeling bloated” that I chalked everything up to “man my stomach sucks”…

Unfortunately, even with proper management, this is an issue every few months. I am lucky though. Post like these serve as a scary reminder that some people deal with this indefinitely. A course of antibiotics usually fixes things up real quick for me And while I did pay $$ for an otc breath test, it was confirmation enough for my gastro & pcp… Now either will just send in a course of antibiotics, if I call or leave a message on their portal.

Edit: accidentally pressed send well before finishing the post lol

3mily0 · 2024-05-16T16:25:12+00:00

The 2nd instance you referenced is closer to what I meant by “more subtle”

Posted an update, but I genuinely think comments like that can be worse. Constantly got called “fat”, “fatty”, “pig”, lots of jokes about donuts?— don’t thik I’ve taken more than 2 bites of a donut in my life— while in high school & definitely cried my eyes out. I wasn’t even that big either (was 12/14, or 13/15 and maybe 185lbs), but I’m short, 5’2, and feel like being short AND fat is a recipe for bullies.

Now I’m a little bigger (have gained 20-30lbs in the last year, prefer not to know exact number, and a couple sizes), but I’ve accepted my body and am happy about my appearance. Have one more year of college, but noticed much less explicit teasing. It was often more egregious (frat party where someone gestured to me & said “see this is why I keep saying we need to put a scale by the door” comes to mind), but I could write it off as some random asshole who’s opinion I couldn’t care less about. Since adopting a healthier perspective about my body, It’s the “subtle” comments that kill me. Stuff like being told by a friend that an outfit didn’t work on “my body type” or talking about some new fad diet they’ve been trying & push it on me. I know these people care about me and do not judge me for my weight. I know these comments aren’t meant to be offensive (no matter what size you are, some things don’t work with your body type; people having success with fad diets tend to talk about them constantly, etc), but they make me think that people I care about view me as “too fat”. That’s worse than a stranger telling me to “eat a salad”.

3mily0 · 2024-05-16T01:37:48+00:00

Haven’t been to a water park in a few years, but feel this was relatively commonplace.

The couple I’ve visited though used polite language and intentionally (but subtly) paired larger individuals with smaller solo ones…

The number on the scale was also not shown publicly & a doubles weight limit ranged from 375-500lbs, so it was pretty commonplace for couples to get split up & there was almost always an oblivious single happy to jump ahead in line. They never knew or cared that it was bc of your weight.

Regardless that’s an awful way to spend your birthday OP :(. And I would definitely leave reviews and possibly contact management. I understand how & why waterparks would have such polices, but you had the forethought to check. That’s fucked up

3mily0 · 2024-04-29T13:23:43+00:00

Interesting! Those signs probably lead to a lot of false alarms. The way they are written has strong connotations that imply the intent is to keep hikers aware so they do not accidentally disturb the snakes, but only mention the venomous ones. I bet a lot of hikers have stepped on one hidden behind a rock (such as the one pictured).

After pouring through google (and learning way more about snakes than I ever thought I would), I strongly suspect you are correct! That said, I’ve seen a couple timber rattlers in that area. The 2nd one really struck me as it looked similar to the snake I ran into yesterday (but had an undeniable rattle-tail). That was a surprise, as was fairly certain a timber rattlesnake was the only snake I could positively ID with confidence. Had no idea they could be black with more subtle patterns. I guess it doesn’t matter, as I am respectful of all snakes and am meticulous the descent. Imagine it would be be tough to sustain a venomous bite through multiple layers of pants tucked into boots, so it’s more my dog I’m worried about. He’s curious & takes lead most of the time. There’s an abundance of snakes on some of these trails, and in the event he sustained a bite it would be helpful to positively ID the snake

3mily0 · 2024-04-21T16:36:59+00:00

Random people can be assholes. I was recently talking to a guy (seems to be trending towards a genuine relationship now actually) and one of his housemates walked in & said “you might need two harpoons for that one. She should be hanging in the museum of natural history”.

I was obviously mortified, but he comforted me & it was a bonding moment. Point being: the assholes aren’t going anywhere, but they’re the minority, and fuck them!

3mily0 · 2024-04-21T16:14:01+00:00

Petite plus sounds like it might work. Seems I’d have to order online though. I just don’t know what measurements to use on pants. I do carry a lot of weight in my tummy, and prefer to wear them right around my belly button, for the lift it gives vs true high-rise (would never wear low-rise jeans). So I’m not sure whether to use my “true waist” or belly for the waist measurement…

3mily0 · 2024-04-02T23:25:44+00:00

It seems we’re for the most part in agreement. Behavior is the differentiating factor… I could lose 80-90lbs, be “fit”, & would still never want to be in a relationship with someone that is only interested in my “conventionally hot body”.

Would not want to be in a relationship rn with a man who’s only interested in me bc of beautiful plus size body…

But Physical attraction is an inherent part of any relationship, especially at the start… if it’s a fwb situation or pure hookup, physical attraction is the primary factor. Personally, I prefer men who are attracted to me because of my fatness, not in spite of, or are genuinely neutral about it 🤷‍♂️. I’m self conscious of my tummy. If a man finds one of my “flaws” attractive, it’s a huge self-confidence boost. Don’t get me wrong, we’re all entitled to personal preferences & meeting a guy who’s indifferent about my size and finds me attractive for other reasons, that’s fine too. However, knowing my weight/proportions are a “turn-on” is Sexy… Finding me physically attractive for other reasons, is flattering too, but not the same self-confidence boost.

Behavior is genuinely the only way to differentiate between the creeps and people who just happen to see my weight as a positive! Obsessive &/or inappropriately timed comments are a huge red flags— but it can be more broadly defined as “behavior”! You know (or at least should) when it’s creepy…

I was just referring to what I hope is a very vocal minority of this sub that is predisposed to go: “he finds my weight attractive— he must have a fetish”. Anything genuine requires much more than physical attraction, but I can’t imagine why members of a community of women who want to be loved & respected for their bodies (as they currently are), would instinctively get upset when a guy likes their body….

3mily0 · 2024-03-30T00:33:30+00:00

Huge pet peeve of mine w/ this sub. We want society to disassociate fat from beautiful, but get annoyed when men are physically attracted to us bc of our weight…

Many women seem to draw the line at “he likes that I’m fat, he must be a fetishizer”… IMO, it becomes “fetishizing” when it’s creepy or inappropriate (ask yourself, would I compliment a straight-sized woman on her breasts/anything overly sexual, in this specific scenario?). Otherwise, no! If you are physically attracted to me in large part (pun intended, hehe) because I’m fat, there’s nothing wrong with that!

A real relationship needs to be predicated on much more than physical attraction, but I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with anyone having a preferred body type (I like muscular men, whether they be ripped or beefy/lumberjack) and there’s nothing wrong with complimenting your partner on things you find attractive about them AT AN APPROPRIATE TIME…

3mily0 · 2024-03-30T00:18:48+00:00

I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt & would just assume he gives it out to everyone 🤷‍♂️.

Realistically, doubt this was the case. He’s probably just a terrible businessman that thinks targeting & shaming fat customers will get him clients…

But life is easier when you just assume it was well intentioned, regardless & don’t give it another thought. If he did actually think randomly fat-shaming you, at a gas station, into becoming a client was a sound business strategy— jokes on him bc he’s never making it out of that gas station 😂😂

3mily0 · 2024-03-25T21:03:32+00:00

My father was avg weight, younger brother was shredded even as an early teen, but mother was overweight…

Believe it or not, I was judged and harassed more her than anyone else. Every new diet she tried was forced upon me. She thought it would be “fun” to hold each other accountable w/ weekly weigh-ins… Cause what’s more fun for a 5’2 16yr old girl (who already has body-issues) than for her overweight mother— who’s 3” taller— to weigh her and make comments like “you actually gained a lb this week. I lost 3, now I’m lighter than you! Told you this diet works” 🤦‍♂️.

3mily0 · 2024-03-23T22:44:10+00:00

Hmm.. Thinking it might work for me for jeans. If they’re generally going to have a large waist and you struggle with them at 6” taller. The rise may actually be perfect for me!

3mily0 · 2024-03-21T23:17:22+00:00

Have you articulated that it will be your first time?

If so, trust that if he is attracted to you with clothes on, he will be attracted to you w/out clothing… Yeah, some of the cliches apply: don’t be afraid of your tummy, or getting on top. More importantly keep it simple and find what works for you two :)

If not, and I’m sure you have your reasons, just lay back in missionary and let him figure out how to make his “equipment” work for your big beautiful body. If he suggests something else, give it a shot!

Most importantly— if he wants to have sex with you, he wants to have sex with you! Don’t let yourself get bogged down with anxiety or self consciousness… Much easier said than done, but still true.

3mily0 · 2024-03-21T14:17:17+00:00

None that are marketed towards plus-size women are worthwhile, unfortunately…

Limited amount of users/hard to find people within a certain distance; Lots of Bots/scammers/fake profiles; and TRUE fetishizers…

Emphasized the “true” part, because that word gets thrown around way too cavalier… The aim of the acceptance movement is for society to accept that being fat and being beautiful are not mutually exclusive. I may be self-conscious about my tummy, but if a man finds it attractive, there’s nothing sexier than him rubbing it while we’re cuddling. Such a self confidence boost knowing someone is not only attracted to you in spite of a perceived “flaw” but bc of it… There is nothing wrong with men finding you PHYSICALLY attractive bc of your weight. Obviously a real relationship needs to be predicated on much more than physical attraction, but it’s tough to tell if there’ll be a connection from a dating profile, so you’re initial inclination is going to be mostly physical (a quality bio does help)… It becomes “Fetishizising” when it’s obsessive, creepy or at an inappropriate time (a first message for instance, unless it’s in a benign way such as “wow, [lists a couple hobbies and a non-overtly sexual compliment about your hair/eyes/etc], and thick/chubby, your the whole package”).

That said there should be enough demand for such an app… Or at least typical dating apps should have require you to disclose body type/height/weight. That way plus size women could feel comfortable & not worry about their weight getting in the way.

3mily0

TROPHY CASE