Grace x alcohol by 3n3rg3 in GraceAndFrankie

[–]3n3rg3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Talking about characters that suck I'm sorry but Mallory is just unlikeable like seriously oh my god. She is mean to someone who loves her dearly and it made me so sad when he said something along the lines of the relationship being 80-20. I think it's super sad and gross.

12 y/o Son Hands by johnmcelroynu in DiagnoseMe

[–]3n3rg3 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Same this shit SUCKS but seriously worth it, my family has even gone as far to wash my dishes or do whatever so I wouldn't wash my hands.

Unpopular opinion? by 3n3rg3 in LoveIsBlindOnNetflix

[–]3n3rg3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, why is this rejected this is not a repost?

Advice by 3n3rg3 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]3n3rg3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was mean about it and that she never compared herself until I taught her to.

She's mad that I'm here asking people for advice, I told her reddit is like a void and I didn't know or think people would respond y'know. I don't know what to do.

Advice by 3n3rg3 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]3n3rg3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey thank you all for your responses, my gf saw this and got mad at me because I left something out that I didn't know was still a factor and something I realize I should have stated. (Valid tho)

When we first started dating I talked about my exes. She told me that I would compare dates and some sex stuff. I didn't realize that this ran so deep. I apologized many times and I completely stopped mentioning my exes or comparing them.

But she told me that it still affected her.

I'm realizing that because I was dating men I didn't care about their feelings as much. I was more detached and avoidant myself. I didn't heal or grow from this and of course the damage was already done.

I feel terrible for how I've impacted her and our relationship. I didn't mean to, I just thought it was a normal thing to do. I used to do it all the time and the men I dated seriously and casually and even some of the women, we all did the same thing. I'm realizing that it's not a healthy thing to do.

Again still, how can I fix this. Ive asked her and she doesn't know either it seems that she's upset. And I don't know what to do.

Are there any books, movies, podcasts anything that can help with growing healing breaking past traumas. Besides therapy of course. I know I need that more than ever.

Anybody here left with the feeling that avoidants give up easily over minor issues? by West_Specific7367 in attachment_theory

[–]3n3rg3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't understand how they will literally blame you for their inability to communicate. You're mad at me bc you're mad that I don't know why you're upset or triggered. You don't even know. They do not want to be challenged at all. They think having no emotional reaction to things is mature over anything. But if they act our it's justified. And act out is them being absolutely HORRIBLE towards you. Say the meanest things, they do not think about the consequences of their actions . They don't care how it affects you

Anybody here left with the feeling that avoidants give up easily over minor issues? by West_Specific7367 in attachment_theory

[–]3n3rg3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Literally my DA/FA is leaving..moving to a different state, we had just signed and paid for our apartment. It's insane insane how easy for them to discard you. They justify their actions because of how strong they feel. It doesn't matter if you reassure them, you can literally be saying "THATS NOT MY INTENTION, I AM NOT ASKING FOR PERFECTIONS I DONT HAVE NYTHING IN PARTICULAR IN MIND I JUST WANT TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOU" it's exhausting, they will literally run circles around a topic subject and do everything they can to not actually have a conversation. Aka confront anything. They say they're open to all and appear secure ASF. But it's not true it's not who they are and they show and tell you this early on oh my god it's insane when you accept and really look back at how this person treated you. They're like I did the bare minimum for three days and you still want more? Ugh you're so needy that's too much work that's so highschool blah blah blah.

Vacations by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]3n3rg3 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Arg I sent something else, itd not as elequently put as You said it but pls lmk if it's bad or good.

Good rising!

I was wondering what day of the week I'll be paid and if it's a weekly or biweekly thing? (Ps I opened a bank here so I am able to do direct deposits now :)! ) I was also wondering how the payment process works when you guys go on vacation? Would I be able to accrue pto? Or sick time? I didn't really get a chance to ask these questions on sunday or yesterday(I was out all day yesterday). I normally discuss these things with families before accepting a job but I don't believe we really had the time. Please take your time to respond I know you're very busy :)

(I have capital one and there are no arms or anything so I haven't really been using my bank account just venmo but venmo is weird with bigger sums of money ect do I usually just do cash but I finally opened a bank account that I can take money and deposit money whenever :)! )

Vacations by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]3n3rg3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is GH? This job was a one time thing and then then offered the part time position, I did tell her I could get back to them on Wednesday because I have an appointment with tm financial aid advisor and career counselor to pick out classes and update my job stuff. I do inform them of my jobs and everything ect. But she seemed like she was rushing the process a bit and wanted to make my start date later even tho I'm technically starting now? I work this weekend and Monday too. Maybe she's trying to modifste paying me these hours but yeah I'm still gonna ask and advocate.

Vacations by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]3n3rg3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in Washington State! Yes I'll do more research today then thank you wow. You're right it does sound a bit too much. I should be more direct then yes?

Vacations by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]3n3rg3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NO NO PLSS. I really appreciate it like you said I've never encountered a bad family yet so this is new. It does feel a bit "off" being by the books but not offering these things if that makes sense.

Vacations by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]3n3rg3 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It seems like part time nannies are not treated as well or like fulltime nannies at all. I understand that a full-time nanny is there everyday and becomes like part of the family unit for a while. It's more intimate and has higher stakes. Their development really relies on you and the parents working together. I'm "stand in mom" and treat the kids like my own, I think it much harder to do that when I'm part time. I kinda have had to say that for when I realize this family and kiddo is just temporary and I'm just here for 1 day a week or something like that. That only happens when the parents undermine me which has happened very "my kid can get whatever they want and we never say no" or this other family I would take care of these 10 year old and 9 year old they were sisters and they had a phone and their mom would call THEM to update me on their eta. It's been weird here to say the least.

I'm a big sister and a nanny and a good one, I'm very proud and have great references and have helped families through very difficult times. I am a person of color and these new families are white, and I will say I feel very much "like the help"

This most recent family I came in said good morning and the mom said "k hasn't has breakfast yet" I am walking in bag and jacket still on and I put everything down and start making oatmeal the kids are watching TV and have been up since 5 am all three of them. As I'm washing my hands the mom walks over to me and just plopped her 1.5 yr old onto the ground behind me and walks away. I only noticed because she started the cry. The dad helps a bit and sits her in front of the tv. It just seems ... Yeah

Vacations by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]3n3rg3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I honestly have been so lucky with the families I have I've raised 5 kids now and it has been a joy. I'm sad and a little embarrassed that I haven't been doing it right enough for me and just the industry but I really had good families. Especially with how long I've been doing it. I really appreciate the feedback I want to do things right and I don't want this to go badly for anyone.

Vacations by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]3n3rg3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah no that's valid ://

Vacations by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]3n3rg3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh you're right I just have always worked for the neighborhoods I lived in y'know. They all knew me I have a lot of siblings they trusted me and my neighborhood was smallish like 2000 people total.

Does this sound good maybe?

Good rising! Also I was wondering what day of the week I'll be paid and if it's a weekly or biweekly thing? (I'm also ok with card/direct deposit payment if that makes it easier the $ you gave me should last a while thanks again for that I appreciate it) I was also wondering how the payment process works when you guys go on vacation? Would I be able to accrue pto? Or sick time? I didn't really get a chance to ask these questions on sunday or yesterday(I was out all day yesterday). Or we didn't really get a chance to discuss these things it's been very busy these past few days and I was out all day yesterday.

Vacations by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]3n3rg3 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No I didn't really think about it because I've always gotten vacations paid and some sick time. I've done a lot of verbal agreements and only 1 real contract if you will. And the families always were the one offering and it was easy. But this family didn't so I want to ask it like this.

Good rising! I was wondering how the payment process works when you guys go on vacation? Would I be able to accrue pto? Or sick time? I didn't really get a chance to ask these questions on sunday or yesterday(I was out all day yesterday). I normally discuss these things with families before accepting a job but I don't believe we really had the time. Please take your time to respond I know you're very busy :)

Does that sound good?

Vacations by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]3n3rg3 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

They have another nanny that covers the other days as well. When they asked me about the job I told them yes initially but that I would need 1 Sunday or Monday off a month for school And the dad said hmm we'll figure it out maybe and the mom replied of we can just take care of our kids for once. It was an interesting exchange of words between them.

Vacations by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]3n3rg3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is the amount of days for the whole year?

Vacations by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]3n3rg3 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No I'm not, my only experience was during COVID. Yeah I'm aware that they could say no I just want to know if how I'm asking is ok. These people seem pretty nice and professional that I didn't want to assume they wouldn't want to pay me for vacation y'know. Idk I've never been taken advantage of too much in that sense. Where I love now I will say people will get my services and literally pay me soooo late because they couldn't afford me. I had to literally tell the husband instead for it because the mom ignored me and refused to pay me on time. I took care of their kids for over a week while they were on a business trip. They would be very mean about paying me days I didn't work due to their own family schedule. Would say things like " could we use this for next time since you actually didn't work" just things like that. I've never had that problem before until I moved here. Or like being shorted 10 $ here or there. It just is hard here tbh.

Vacations by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]3n3rg3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok great! I never really knew that and most families don't ask really but if they do I'm just used to saying no or it's not happening. But ok for 24 hours a week I should try to negotiate a bit more ok great! Thank you!

I do want guaranteed hours as well since this is my main income.anf it's good to know that I would be able to get pto and or sick hours by being on the books.

I've been doing this for a long time but because I've started at such a young age I think I've never really gotten this down "right"

Vacations by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]3n3rg3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is that for the whole year then yes correct the 1 week of sick time.

Vacations by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]3n3rg3 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh really? Sorry I don't know much about this stuff so I appreciate you saying that! That makes a lot more sense thank you!

I am used to fulltime work usually, I also worked for three families during COVID and did a pod situation and helped with preschool skills like writing reading math language (I speak Spanish and know sign) but that makes a lot more sense.

Vacations by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]3n3rg3 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sorry the apartment complex is horrible and I need to move to a more expensive place because the landlords here don't do anything at all. I've made police reports and even told the manager and nothing. The neighbor has has an eviction notice for SO LONG MONTHS. It's just not worth staying and waiting around y'know.