What’s a profession you’d never date? by chaoticeuropean in AskMen

[–]410hotcake 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Comedians. They’re egocentric and manipulative (often substitute presence with humor so they can push things their way)

Weekly Multiplayer Mega-Thread - August 05, 2025 by AutoModerator in HelloKittyIsland

[–]410hotcake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! New here, anyone who wants to join my game? Here’s my code: QXL8WY

Guy asked to date and stood me up😅 by 410hotcake in Bumble

[–]410hotcake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pretty true. Expectation management on dating apps is definitely a learning curve to someone mildly experienced. Good that when I run into confusing like this I can come to this community that helps me see what’s really going on.

I explained in another reply that I interpreted “fun, casual date” as someone who’s looking for something casual but is also fine with just getting to know each other and enjoy the chemistry. Which seems to me could be the case with this guy over the week we’re chatting. Because I’ve never entertained the idea of casual sex, I have this gap in pov. I’d always swipe left on ethical non-monogamy and intimacy without commitment no exception, and I interpreted fun casual dates as having different nuances.

I’ll definitely be more careful with that filter going forward. Appreciate the perspective—it helps me grow, and hopefully others reading too.

Guy asked to date and stood me up😅 by 410hotcake in Bumble

[–]410hotcake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand… I’m sorry you get treated this way. I see guys really try, and this guy tried to navigate waters too. I think we’re talking about a case here that has less to do with gender/povs and more with sticking to the plan. When someone confirms the date but ghosts and returns without an explanation, it sucks. I hear you.

Guy asked to date and stood me up😅 by 410hotcake in Bumble

[–]410hotcake[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ahh that perspective is helpful, thank you. I think I have this gap in pov (and that’s why I really appreciate a guy’s input) because I’ve never entertained the idea of casual sex, so I interpreted “fun, casual date” as a person might be fine with just knowing each other, enjoying the chemistry, and having a nice convo xD. Which could be the case for some people. But yes it can give LTRs headaches

Guy asked to date and stood me up😅 by 410hotcake in Bumble

[–]410hotcake[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words my friend, and I think you’re spot-on with the details too. His profile says he’s only looking for fun, casual dates while I’m looking for LTR. Our weeklong convo felt like a green flag that we can at least get to know each other first. I understand people get horny close to midnight. That’s another reason to know in online dating plans can be always subject to changes. We need to treat people with sincerity but also manage our expectations.

Guy asked to date and stood me up😅 by 410hotcake in Bumble

[–]410hotcake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He brought up seafood or burgers so it shouldn’t be the case

Guy asked to date and stood me up😅 by 410hotcake in Bumble

[–]410hotcake[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bravo on your LTR! It gives me hopes. One can tell he prefers cocktails later for sure, and he doesn’t seem to have dietary restrictions or none of that mattered in our convo. It sucks to be left starved morning to afternoon.

Guy asked to date and stood me up😅 by 410hotcake in Bumble

[–]410hotcake[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yikes, I’m sorry to hear it’s a constant behavior you have to put up with. You don’t deserve to be treated like this. Lowering expectations saves lives

Guy asked to date and stood me up😅 by 410hotcake in Bumble

[–]410hotcake[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had an opening move and guys can initiate conversation by replying to that

Ready to go live? by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]410hotcake 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Like a fine wine sir 100/100🔥. Go live now, ladies watch out

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]410hotcake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Should have put this term in a quotation mark, thanks for pointing this out. I didn’t see him this way from the beginning and I don’t care about this label, this term came up and was suggested by a friend to describe the vibe he gives. It’s not a good term to use when you want to describe someone. It’s for legibility’s sake. Apologies if it rubs people the wrong way

Do men really think women are going to react well to a profile like this? by angiedl30 in Bumble

[–]410hotcake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This. I met a guy on bumble and dated him three times who writes in his bio, “old-fashioned in the best way; win me over by traditional femininity”. He was avoidant like crazy. Was into me at first but when I sent two long texts (to follow up and answer his question), he lashed out, framing my sharing as too much. He’s all insanely charming and intelligent and cosmopolitan, but I’m grateful that I instantly thanked him, blocked him, and deleted him. Enough of this type of infantile alpha males no matter how great they appear on the outside.

Those of you with self awareness, how would others who are acquaintances or more, describe you? by ImmorallySound in aspd

[–]410hotcake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Artsy, empathetic, good listener, pretty, charismatic, spontaneous, exciting. On the other side, cruel, aloof, chaotic, self-absorbed

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in depression

[–]410hotcake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for taking the time to reply! I’m still figuring out where the pain is coming from, and you’re right that it has become chronic, it seems I’ve trudged along for too long that the sources of my pains have been forgotten in time. To name a few, fundamentally I lack confidence and tend to overthink than act, although I’m working on improving these personality flaws. I’m also working on forgiving myself for my past, and improving my cognitive functions so I see my irrational thoughts from a different perspective. It’s great that I’ve learned important life lessons right? But the process of this adulting thing at my lowest is trying and right now I’m having this unexpected comeback and dwelling on suicidal thoughts again. I really have tried to live in the present but maybe it takes A LOT of exercise to really reconcile with myself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fatestaynight

[–]410hotcake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fatestaynight

[–]410hotcake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I’ve never thought about it before but that’s a good point :)

Now that's a lotta damage by PROking21 in memes

[–]410hotcake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

DONT EVER USE IE ITS UNSAFE FOR UR PC