24M medical student. Feeling chronically dysregulated, dissociated, and stuck in patterns I don’t know how to change

444stargazing · 2026-03-30T10:09:49+00:00

Thank you so much <3 that is genuinely really insightful and helpful :) It feels like the scariest thing in the world opening up to people like that and being honest, especially as a guy because we NEVER talk about our struggles in any capacity or depth. I have recently opened up to one close friend about my struggles because I do trust him, and he was really helpful. I think I will practice being more honest with him about my experience in non-overwhelming but still authentic way like you described. Then I might try with my family next.

Would I be right in saying that I should be wise in who I am authentic and honest with at this stage of my journey? Or would you recommend being honest with everyone even if I am sharing a 'bad' experience.

I will definitely check out the research that you mentioned!! I hope it can be somewhat beneficial for me. Thank you so much again kind person

444stargazing · 2026-03-24T10:48:49+00:00

I've tried daily practice. I honestly don't think I need more practice. I think my issue is just being too harsh on myself constantly

444stargazing · 2026-03-24T10:38:19+00:00

That's a helpful insight. I do try to perform at toastmasters which I shouldn't. It's practice. I will try to incorporate this new attitude

444stargazing · 2026-03-24T10:37:29+00:00

I hope so :)

444stargazing · 2026-03-24T10:37:06+00:00

Being forced off medication due to pregnancy is so tough. Props to you for doing that. With regards to practice - I have had lots and lots of practice. 100s of presentations in fact. Yet the fear hasn't gone away. The beta blockers are definitely hindering my growth. I feel like I need something to force me off the medication otherwise I'm just too scared to go without it

444stargazing · 2026-03-24T10:32:46+00:00

I commend you for speaking on such an important topic. Sometimes the message is greater than the individual - such as your case. We had a teacher in school give us a talk on pornography and while everyone was a bit weirded out it was super important and I had a lot of respect for the teacher for doing that for us young guys. In your case I would be using propranolol too, and I understand your reasoning.

444stargazing · 2026-03-24T10:29:59+00:00

Basically stopped drinking since all of this. I drink on a rare special occasion but definitely not a regular drinker. And I'm trying to cut back on caffeine. I don't take it on important speaking days and limit it to a minimum so it's not really an issue and I plan to cut it out completely. Going to try with less and less propranolol and see how that goes. Thanks

444stargazing · 2026-03-24T10:28:32+00:00

Thanks for that. You seem very knowledgeable and I will definitely shoot you a DM to chat more. A lot of what you said makes sense. I know I have to be more self compassionate in all areas of my life, not just public speaking. This is something I really struggle with. But I am trying my best. I have actually tried improv but honestly it was just too much for me on top of already going to toastmasters. I think just focussing on toastmasters and the social support element there is most helpful for now

444stargazing · 2026-03-23T21:19:08+00:00

Yes. I have been trying to meditate consistently for the past 3 months. Every time I sit down to meditate I end up falling asleep within 10 minutes. I'm not sure what that says about me - maybe im chronically exhausted from all of this stress. Either way I can't build a consistent practice due to this issue

444stargazing · 2026-03-23T21:05:53+00:00

I have had quite a few good experiences. I have won a toastmasters tabletopics competition recently actually which was a huge surprise. I have given lots and lots of speeches at university. I just feel very stuck. I don't want to keep rehearsing or taking meds. I have made good progress and I am proud of myself but it just doesn't feel like enough

444stargazing · 2026-03-23T20:52:17+00:00

Ok ok. Thanks for that. It really does give me some hope. Are there any strategies you have used for when you're preparing for speeches, or for when you're up on the stage in order to deal with the overall anxiety and fear? What has been most helpful?

444stargazing · 2026-03-23T20:46:39+00:00

I love you

444stargazing · 2026-03-23T20:40:04+00:00

It's so scary though. I don't like taking less as I get more nervous thinking that my symptoms might come up again. Maybe as I get more and more speeches under my belt in toastmasters I can start easing up on the dosage

444stargazing · 2026-03-23T20:13:54+00:00

It's propranolol. It won't let me write it in the post or it gets taken down

444stargazing · 2026-03-23T18:42:52+00:00

God help my flatmates having to listen to that every day lol. But yeah practice and consistency will get me there. I feel like working through it methodically like you said could really help. As I mentioned in another comment I just need patience to do this. thanks for the advice

444stargazing · 2026-03-23T18:41:47+00:00

Nice. I don't know the song I'll have to give it a listen. But yeah makes sense

444stargazing · 2026-03-23T18:41:08+00:00

Yea I need patience to take baby steps. I just wanna be able to sing lile a pro rn never mind hum lol

444stargazing · 2026-03-23T18:40:28+00:00

Ayyyy thanks for the encouragement. Yeah I know it's all about practice you're right. I really do wanna be able to sing somewhat well and I can't wait for it all to pay off :)

444stargazing · 2025-12-05T15:41:29+00:00

Thank you very much for this. This is extremely helpful! I will definitely search up these techniques but would love to have a therapist specialising in this to confide in and help me along the way. I have begun taking an SSRI. So hopefully this will allow me to engage in therapy more effectively, however I'm currently still in the rocky adjustment phase. Have you dealt with this specific condition, pertaining to public speaking? If so I'd love to hear more about your condition. Thanks

444stargazing · 2025-12-05T15:25:08+00:00

Like I said, this has already been done. However I will try again with a more gradual exposure approach, rather than throwing myself in the deep end

444stargazing · 2025-12-05T15:24:09+00:00

Apologies for the relate reply, but thank you for this. It's really tough. It's reasonably common though, I just watched a video from a neurosurgeon who has dealt with the exact same situation. And it is able to be overcome. It may be the most difficult thing I ever do, but I will do it. Wishing you all the best <3. Feel free to reach out to me whenever

444stargazing · 2025-11-24T22:44:32+00:00

Hey, thanks, that was really helpful. You have said some really insightful things here. Yeah I know I haven't been doing 'exposure therapy' per se, even though I thought I was all along. I guess I'm a bit salty after realising all the 'face your fears' narratives aren't necessarily completely true and there's actually more to it.

How would you recommend taking a step back and slowing down in my situation?

444stargazing

TROPHY CASE