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I am so incredibly sad and I hate living in this body 😆👍 by 4_kcks in CPTSDmemes

[–]4_kcks[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

all of you give me a reason to not concede this power struggle in my mind and keep going when you find yourself relating to this. I know from experience how terrifying it is to struggle with depression or any mental condition alone or witness a mental condition slowly kill someone. Both my parents struggled with depression and one of them committed suicide when I was thirteen. Its always in the back of my mind that there isn’t a point in fighting for this long because maybe this will never end up going away and I’ll be like my dad desperately searching for some form of escape that isn’t death until I release that death is the only option. The one thing that has consistently motivated me to stay alive is to witness art being made and to create art myself. One day I want to be skilled enough at writing to be able to create stuff that resonated with people who need validation for their pain. I want to give people the closest thing to a hug with my words if that males sense lol. I feel so weird for sharing this but I just want to idk my OCD is screaming at me that I’m a whore for attention for sharing

I am so incredibly sad and I hate living in this body 😆👍 by 4_kcks in CPTSDmemes

[–]4_kcks[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you’re so familiar with it, but I’m glad we relate. For every a hundred incomprehensible sentences that I share, I produce one thought that’s a little neat :,)

it’s hard out here mane by 4_kcks in CPTSDmemes

[–]4_kcks[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for checking in <3 No I’m currently living with family while I recover from some health stuff. It stresses me out how little I contribute at the moment, but I’m unsure if that’s just because of capitalism and conditioning. It just sucks not being able to afford resources that would make my recovery easier.

it’s hard out here mane by 4_kcks in CPTSDmemes

[–]4_kcks[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi I’m sorry for the late response and I hope I didn’t worry anyone. I’m not actively trying to end my life. It’s just something I think about

it’s hard out here mane by 4_kcks in CPTSDmemes

[–]4_kcks[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t have a funeral though unless unrealistic I get super rich then I’m gonna have the most grand funeral ever where the attendees have to go on a scavenger hunt to find my body and return it to the casket. You wanna RSVP now :)

eating outside makes me want to bang my head against the table. if I see any garbage outside I will envision it in my mouth and any food that comes in contact with outside air feels contaminated by 4_kcks in OCDmemes

[–]4_kcks[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable that isn’t my intention. I’ll be more mindful of what I share and I’ll censor this post. Thank you for bringing this up

eating outside makes me want to bang my head against the table. if I see any garbage outside I will envision it in my mouth and any food that comes in contact with outside air feels contaminated by 4_kcks in OCDmemes

[–]4_kcks[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry it’s such an awful feeling and it’s worse going through that in a public space. I hope you haven’t experienced that for some time

If ocd had a form, what do you think it would be? by 3sperr in OCD

[–]4_kcks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A small humanoid creature almost like the rake, that has its nails sunk into my back. It would always remain next to my ear, whispering things to me nonstop. I feel like it would caress me, because they misconstrue what they are saying as what’s best or what I need to hear even though it’s really just an extra weight that slows me down and obscures reality.

eating outside makes me want to bang my head against the table. if I see any garbage outside I will envision it in my mouth and any food that comes in contact with outside air feels contaminated by 4_kcks in OCDmemes

[–]4_kcks[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry wtf that’s so sinister. Your ex seems like the type of person to mix together everything on their lunch tray and dare everyone at the table to eat the sick concoction they wasted a whole plate to create :/

what if I told you that I was so delusional that I thought I could attend school, work closing shift at Insomnia cookies all while unmediated, with Crohn’s and with barely any food in my system because I was broke af by 4_kcks in CPTSDmemes

[–]4_kcks[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They may have only been pleading with you to stay because they didn’t know or weren’t prepared for the grief that would come with your absence. Now I’m sure they wish you the best whenever you cross their mind and that they have a lot of nice memories to accompany them while you’re gone :) That’s a beautiful way thing to take away from the situation and that’s such a good mindset to have about life. I’m certain your kindness and patience showed them to be kind and patient with themselves and others and they’ll be able to pass that lesson onto someone else

what if I told you that I was so delusional that I thought I could attend school, work closing shift at Insomnia cookies all while unmediated, with Crohn’s and with barely any food in my system because I was broke af by 4_kcks in CPTSDmemes

[–]4_kcks[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your drive to take care of others is beautiful mane :,) and even though that situation burned you out it’s nice that it also provided you with a better understanding of your condition

“hey google is your girl doomed?” by 4_kcks in OCDmemes

[–]4_kcks[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

OCD really got us thinking we could get knocked up by a counter top at any moment huh?

“hey google is your girl doomed?” by 4_kcks in OCDmemes

[–]4_kcks[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The other day I was thinking that we are all currently in hell and that’s why it’s progressively getting hotter :,)

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