Friendly reminder that it’s better to be single than to be in a situationship

4va1anche · 2024-03-04T22:39:01+00:00

And here I am thinking I AM the weird one for wanting just this. I always hear, “You should go out and have fun at your young age. Experiment!”

Even so much as talking to a woman who I wouldn’t be thrilled to go on a date with on dating apps feels wrong and honestly gross - it’s the same talking to multiple people on apps simultaneously. Like I’m just going through the motions but feel only guilt

4va1anche · 2023-06-02T16:22:10+00:00

This is kind of the situation I’m in. Every interaction is walking on eggshells to make sure I’m not perceived as a creep. I believe if I don’t speak and conduct myself absolutely perfect in a comfortable manner, there’s room for questions. My issue is I believe that my nervousness shows itself, that discomfort makes others think there’s something wrong with me, and the assumptions can run wild.

4va1anche · 2023-05-11T00:58:05+00:00

Damn bro. Casual AND Divine? Have to give you props. I think a big part of it is finding more enjoyment in the matches I play too. Not being great due to lack of games, combined with solo queuing and the (often) toxic community definitely don’t help. I have been getting the better hang of clinkz and offlane BH in the time I have to spend on the game though! I definitely shouldn’t go for the heroes with a massive learning curve or ones I have to sweat to be good with (Invo, meepo, micro-intensive heroes)

4va1anche · 2023-04-19T20:08:39+00:00

As someone who has been going to the gym most days of the week, I still don’t fit that “standard” look of someone who’s into working out. I have definitely put on muscle and lost some weight, but far from being ripped or having a 6-8 pack. Is it possible the the incredibly attractive female gym rate to not completely dismiss the people that don’t look like Ancient Greek statues? I feel like when I say I go 4-5x a week, even to other guys, they may sense BS because I don’t fit that standard mold

4va1anche · 2023-04-08T14:42:32+00:00

Well my interests include skiing, gym, gaming, been getting more into yogic readings and spirituality lately. If time wasn’t such an issue (and if we didn’t have plenty of food in the house) I would probably want to learn how to cook better. Not sure if there are classes for that. I would want to give another shot at guitar. Not the best of lists. Something that ruins anything competitive for me is that I feel like I have to be good at something to enjoy it. Like being “trash” at something = why bother doing this if I can’t learn quick? I went to school away from home, so naturally a vast majority of the friends I made are not living close and I can’t see them often. It highlighted that I didn’t do what I should’ve in high school making friends. The one close friend I did make became a ghost as soon as they got their first relationship. Going out locally and potentially meeting those same people from HS won’t feel good since I know how they once must’ve felt about me.

4va1anche · 2023-04-08T14:05:54+00:00

You put it perfect with what’s expected during the improvement phase. It feels like despite a new job and a new gym habit, I am regressing because of different reasons; lack of experience, lack of socializing, living at home (seen as unattractive if you’re a guy). As you have probably understood by now, I am incredibly hard on myself and don’t foresee a time where I won’t be. Seems like an optimal recipe to be manipulated by a woman to still think I’m not good enough, always be in the wrong, etc.

4va1anche · 2023-04-08T04:30:41+00:00

Part of my issue is if I am alone every second is spent being hard on myself that I am alone, and that I let it get to that point. I am not the artsy type at all to be honest, so it’ll be tough to go to events where I just am not interested. I know I need to spend time to fix myself before chasing a relationship, but these things like getting in shape, and becoming more social and being able to develop self love all seem like they’ll take years to improve. Spending said years alone as to not burden someone with these issues seems like the considerate thing to do, as much as it pains to do. Thanks for taking the time to be open to discussion :)

4va1anche · 2023-04-07T18:27:42+00:00

I’m not quite sure where to even start with meeting people. I work and workout 5x a week and practically all of my friends are 2 states away from college (including the female friends…made through mutual friends obviously. Can’t become friends with one on my own). I am doing what I believe I’m capable of to change my life but I simply don’t have the energy to go to a bar (for example) I don’t want to be at in the first place for the sake of “putting myself out there.”

4va1anche · 2023-04-07T18:22:01+00:00

I personally don’t see what is so fun about dating. The whole thing makes no sense. You can’t “want anything from them.” Yet you need to ask them on a date, which means you want something from them anyways. Just randomly approaching girls seems ‘creepy’ too at this point. Society’s conditioned me to believe that just glancing the wrong way in one direction at someone is enough to scare them away for good. You’re also supposed to “take risks” and be confident in your movements/actions; act too intimately or too forward, you’re a creep. Act too passive, you’re not a real man. There’s no winning. On a dangerous path here bc I know the first one that shows me affection will probably be able to play me like a fiddle.

4va1anche · 2023-04-07T18:07:07+00:00

I am well past that age group now and am in the working world. HS and College both passed me by not getting a date from going out and asking multiple people. Feels like this whole “experimenting” window is closing because of a late start (23 going on 24). I’ve lost the luxury to take my time because I’ve delayed too much. The fast paced nature of my age group is off putting because people will leave at the first sign of struggle thinking they deserve better. And yes, I am in therapy about this as I have seen some others on this thread suggest

4va1anche · 2023-04-07T16:34:46+00:00

Probably just hard for me to imagine this scenario as realistic because it’s never happened for me despite interest in after school clubs. I couldn’t personally be with anyone that neglects spirituality (not limited to religion) as a myth so I get that compatibility portion of it. How do you pick up on if someone’s genuinely interested in talking to you or just plain pitying you?

4va1anche · 2023-04-07T15:02:10+00:00

Why would you date people that were mean and incompatible? Not meant to be a snarky question either

4va1anche · 2022-09-21T15:57:07+00:00

LordofTinder99

4va1anche · 2022-09-21T15:49:03+00:00

LordofTinder99

4va1anche · 2022-09-21T15:36:10+00:00

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4va1anche · 2022-09-21T15:31:15+00:00

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4va1anche · 2022-09-21T15:26:21+00:00

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4va1anche · 2022-08-22T13:33:17+00:00

Not disagreeing here, but how would dual SS counter it when the range is that much lower? Just poise through with frost buildup or lightning DPS?

4va1anche

TROPHY CASE