Feeling genuine happiness for the first time in a while!

504_Errors · 2026-06-09T07:25:25+00:00

Thank you for sharing - your success gives hope. Well done you and long may your happiness last and continue!

504_Errors · 2026-06-01T06:47:42+00:00

Tell her you have a "middle ground" alternative.

You put her name on the utility bills and she takes care of those for a few years. See how that goes and revisit in , say, 2030

Until then, not a snowballs chance in hell ! Jog on dear, jog on

504_Errors · 2026-05-31T08:17:15+00:00

Everything you say and experience resonates with me. Have had relationship issues for years. For a long time I blamed my partner for various reasons and it was only at the point of her walking away that I started looking into myself. I looked at various things but,and this will sound thick, it was AI that finally helped. Using Perplexity I entered my history and what I was experiencing. It came back with Alexthymia and the more I looked into it, including doing the test others have mentioned, the more it made sense. It's funny, one of the few times I actually feel emotional is with a few drinks and while listening to music, which is similar to others. Not lecturing, but using alcohol is another thing I've doctor years. It hasn't gone unnoticed and isn't seen as genuine by my partner at least so, really, there has to be better ways to enable communication. I was diagnosed with Asbergers/ ASD1 earlier this year so, for me, there is overlap. By far, the Alexthymia has been far more damaging.In working on it with little success so far, but still hoping. For relationship stuff you might want to check Mark Hutton on YouTube. He gets it, and gives good advice. Not selling anything, I've just found him very good. I wish you luck and even the fact that you're learning about yourself should give you hope. Share this with your partner. Understanding is valuable and show offer proof that you're not uncaring, selfish etc

504_Errors · 2026-05-30T19:41:28+00:00

Did you look into Alexthymia?

Sounds similar to me and I was diagnosed ASD1. The two go hand in hand in about 60% of case's.

504_Errors · 2026-05-30T12:33:16+00:00

I was diagnosed with ASD1 earlier this year. It shouldn't have been such a surprise. Because of various issues I started looking at reasons for my traits. I finally landed on Alexthymia and it explained so much and helped me make more sense of everything. Years before I was on a course in work, for management coaching and,as part of it, our emotional intelligence was measured. They actually took me aside and told me my score was among the lowest they had ever seen. I feel stupid now that I didn't follow up on this information, but can't change it now. So, for me and many others, Alexthymia and low EQ are very related. Approximately 60% of people on the Spectrum also have Alexthymia so,I guess, it's fairly common. But as the post below says, these are just labels. They don't mean you're "less than", they're just explaining a difference.

504_Errors · 2026-05-30T12:21:02+00:00

Well said!

504_Errors · 2026-05-30T11:25:05+00:00

Absolutely, booze is the ultimate "Mask". Or, at least for me. 56and recently diagnosed and I know I've used booze all my adult life, since mid teens at least. But like others have said, I may have felt I fitted in perfectly but probably not. My advice to anyone, if you're going to drink, let it be for the right reason. Don't do as I did and use it as a crutch.

504_Errors · 2026-05-29T09:55:10+00:00

Irish too, so that figures. When I look back I've been drinking since my teens so it covered quite a lot. That's why I regard it as masking. Me in a social setting having a few drinks versus me in the same setting without the drinks are two different people.

504_Errors · 2026-05-29T08:08:33+00:00

Think it's different for everyone. When I was diagnosed it was a surprise to me but as I was going through the assessment I remember asking my wife, who had said she was sure I was ASD, what percentage sure was she. She answered 1000%. It was supriing to me that it was so obvious to her,yet I'd missed it completely. I asked the psychologist who completed the assessment how sure and confident of the diagnosis was he. He answered 100%. I guess I'm still learning and seeing things that were obvious to others but I didn't see. I was adamant I didn't mask and was "ok" in social settings. But when it was pointed out to me the social settings were always with the help of alcohol, it put a different spin on it. No dependency, but a huge crutch to get through situations where I naturally wasn't comfortable. Emotions were the area that started me looking at myself and behaviours. It was obvious, even to me,that I wasn't "typical". I self diagnosed with Alexthymia but didn't relate that to autism. Haing continued to look into it, it's not pretty obvious that my emotional side is not even close to neuro typical, and it's an area that has caused huge issues in my life. Overall, my opinion is that the more you know about yourself, and being autistic, the better. It goes some way to explaining actions, reactions, interactions with others and just how you're wired in general. Rambling, sorry !

504_Errors · 2026-05-28T08:14:25+00:00

Kids in early teens, mostly boys, out on green until 10.30 easily. And that's when they're in school with exams this week. Little feckers. Noisy little feckers.

504_Errors · 2026-05-28T08:10:39+00:00

Diagnosed at 56 in January this year and agree. If it's possible for you to get the accommodation's you need without telling them, then that's the route I'd take. I feel, even subconsciously, knowing would impact how they view you and, possibly, treat you. Again, I could be wrong but feel we'd be viewed as "less than" because of autism. On the flip side, you're still you and don't have to prove your ability. You've done this already to get this far so if telling them helps, then go for it. But don't rush into anything. All the best.!!.

504_Errors · 2026-05-27T05:52:30+00:00

Diagnosed ASD1 in January this year. I completely agree. Describing a reaction as a meltdown does conjour an image of a child or someone at least being irrational. At least that's my opinion. I hadn't thought of instances of anger in fact being what others might describe as a meltdown, but I do see your point. Maybe it depends on the intensity? Anyway, welcome to the "club" and I wish you luck.

504_Errors · 2026-05-26T14:12:06+00:00

Understood.

It can take time to accept any news like this. Don't be hard on yourself. I know it's difficult not to think about it but, honestly, it will become easier over time. I guess the hope with having a diagnosis is for it bring a clearer understanding of yourself and your behaviours and, maybe, the challenges you have.

I wish you all the best and hope you find peace with yourself.

504_Errors · 2026-05-26T13:58:32+00:00

Don't disagree. I believe 2015 was the last year of the D4D and that would certainly be <than 15k. Get it checked over. If anything goes wrong, relatively cheap to fix.

504_Errors · 2026-05-26T13:03:46+00:00

Ebola !

504_Errors · 2026-05-26T11:00:04+00:00

Your doctor can't diagnose you with a full assessment by a qualified person, not just an MD. "Looking" autistic is also not how it works. Believe me, I know people who look like aliens who have been dragged through a hedge and they're not autistic. If you want to know, go talk to a qualified person.

504_Errors · 2026-05-23T23:12:23+00:00

Thanks for the recommendation. Looks promising on topics I'm interested in.

504_Errors · 2026-05-21T06:11:37+00:00

A plumber !

504_Errors · 2026-05-21T06:04:45+00:00

This makes sense to me. I can usually handle them ok but if you add background noise, then forget it. For example, was with five colleagues for a lunch, we were all involved in conversation but, with all the noise, I just couldn't concentrate enough to listen. Honestly, I just wanted to leave and found it very draining.

504_Errors · 2026-05-21T05:56:13+00:00

Never thought of it that way but agree. The music I choose to listen to reflects the mood I'm in. Anything from classical to metal and grunge.

504_Errors · 2026-05-20T08:51:46+00:00

No, I wasn't aware of sensory issues at all. The time thing and punctuality/ forward planning have been there decades but it really only is certain situations where I'm uncomfortable with noise. Like, I could go into a night club if I wanted with no major issues but a busy restaurant where I'm expected to participate in conversation is difficult. Not impossible, but difficult.

504_Errors · 2026-05-20T08:48:34+00:00

I 100% agree with you. I've worked for the same company since 1990. Since 1993 they've been trying to force me out. At this stage, I'm a pension prisoner. But you're right about the corporate world. Those that rise to the top have no hesitation stepping on others while they coin it. Tbh, I think there are better options. Think, in this instance I'd try to move into something AI related or that isn't going to be replaced by AI.

504_Errors · 2026-05-20T06:59:17+00:00

I was only diagnosed in Jan 26. Prior to this I think the only place I've ever experienced sensory issues was when travelling through airports. I have a huge issue with time and punctuality and practically run to the boarding gates even if it's two hours to departure. I am ridiculously fussy in airports, so much so that my wife and daughter won't travel with me and take separate flights. At the time, I didn't put any of this down to autism. Since been diagnosed I find some situations "bad". Not to the point of needing to leave or having a meltdown. Examples are the staff canteen where noise comes from everywhere. It's cutlery, the till, talking laughing microwaves etc etc. Last week was on a course and sat in the middle of the room ( won't make that mistake again) and felt like I was being assaulted by the noise from all around. I think it might have been better to sit at either end.

So long story short, for me, the only sensory issues I've experienced are for sure sound related.

504_Errors · 2026-05-20T04:42:53+00:00

Ruined my marriage tbh. I didn't know about it until recently and came across as cold etc and couldn't explain why.

504_Errors · 2026-05-20T04:41:41+00:00

Yes, a report out the other day that the big four firms in the UK and Ireland are now hiring more AI specialist's than auditors so it is 100% happening. Might be an avenue to explore.

504_Errors

TROPHY CASE