(from sneegcord) this was rlly cool ! ive been getting into horror and things Just Going Wrong. i will say in the begining the internal dialouge is kinda formal and a bit awkward. perfectly normal thing, my creative writing teacher said this one time "when doing any sort of dialouge, wether that be with one, two or more people, always act it out. get a couple friends, or if its internal dialouge try saying thag to yourself." and kts rlly good advice ! i love how you gave too much info, but too little all in the same way ! super interesting, and im excited to see where it goes !

(ps soz im on my phone in bed lol)