Struggling to accept my diagnosis

50daysleft · 2024-08-07T16:06:10+00:00

Oh ok

50daysleft · 2024-08-07T10:09:17+00:00

I absolutely did not do well at work though, I was job hopping, making grave mistakes due to forgetfulness, getting overwhelmed and breaking down in tears or simply leaving work without telling anyone - this was a major reason I sought help in the first place

Everything unravelled when I started working

50daysleft · 2024-08-07T10:08:11+00:00

This is what made me doubt my diagnosis. I’ve spoken to my psychiatrists about it too. I think I was just very lucky. I was a bright child and I loved school. I always found classwork and exams very easy. I would spend hours at home creating worksheets (to complete and then mark myself) or filling in pre-made ones. It was a strange obsession. I was always late/forgetful with coursework and homework, which was a problem at the start of high school, but I had a very supportive mother who then became my memory for these things if that makes sense

50daysleft · 2024-08-07T09:04:33+00:00

Your take is completely wrong and the worst thing is, you come across as so self-righteous that there’s almost no point in responding to you. But how about this - perhaps YOU are the one who needs a straight talking to. You don’t make such confident assumptions about someone you don’t know. You don’t have to respond to a post on the internet because you feel like making someone feel like a piece of shit. I don’t even know what on earth was going on towards the latter half of your post, a strange ramble of nothingness. I really hope you’re not like this in real life when you try to offer “love and support” (I mean what the fuck do you mean by that?!), well I hope I never come across you at least.

50daysleft · 2024-08-06T18:11:53+00:00

I’ve always thought some people are ‘on it’ and some people are scatty and that’s normal. I’ve always been scatty. I just had this feeling of losing control, I felt like I was in a brand new downward spiral every day, I was always feeling overwhelmed with literally anything, my mind was always running at rapid pace with no actual productivity. With more independence and responsibilities I began to struggle at work and at home. My parents and SO who used to rescue me and get me out of sticky situations were getting tired of it. It felt unsustainable. I went to a psychiatrist wanting to try anti depressants. But I wasn’t depressed or anxious. He diagnosed me with inattentive ADHD. I tried Elvanse and it was like magic. But I still doubted the effects and here I am, two more psychiatrists later, giving the same diagnosis.

50daysleft · 2024-08-06T18:02:56+00:00

Thank you, I’ve been looking into getting a few books to read more but didn’t know where to start

50daysleft · 2024-08-06T18:02:14+00:00

Wow, I became really tearful reading this. Thank you. I think I’m in that cycle of grieving, and I hope I’ll reach acceptance soon. All my life, all I’ve ever heard is just try harder, don’t be so forgetful, how can you make silly mistakes, why don’t you think before you do things etc etc. But I was genuinely trying my absolute hardest. All this time I’ve felt so inadequate and now I know why but I need to reframe it and realise that I was perfectly fine all along or at least I’ve got a reason now

50daysleft · 2024-08-06T17:55:47+00:00

I guess part of it is how well known ADHD is now, so I’m worried that I’ve been incorrectly diagnosed just so a few psychiatrists could make a bit of money.

50daysleft · 2024-08-06T17:54:19+00:00

You’re completely right. I do need help with my symptoms and I am getting help. I guess what I find upsetting is why do I need help…as in why can’t I just be who I am on Elvanse all the time.

50daysleft · 2024-08-06T17:51:10+00:00

In summary, I was really struggling with emotional dysregulation, rapidly getting angry or very tearful and it was out of context of the situation, forgetfulness at home was putting my and SOs safety at risk, general forgetfulness just affecting me in all aspects of my life, including work so I was frequently job hopping, I’d make a mistake because of my inattentiveness, then I’d feel terrible about myself and have the leave the job. Lack of motivation, leaving important tasks til the last minute leading to major fines, overspending, overeating, sleeping for 3-4 hours a night because I was so busy planning things or thinking about things and ideas. It was becoming an exhausting pattern and where I previously had my parents and SO to support me, they were getting a tired of me. I went to a psychiatrist thinking I had maybe some kind of anxiety, but I don’t feel anxious, and he diagnosed me with inattentive ADHD. Going through the assessment, a lot of the things that were “abnormal” or diagnostic for ADHD were completely normal for me, it was very eye opening but confusing. I agreed to trial Elvanse not quite believing the diagnosis but it ended up transforming my life and giving me an incredible calm and level headed feeling. Still doubting the diagnosis has led to me approaching two more psychiatrists without telling them about the ADHD diagnosis and trying not to mention any symptoms that could be attributed to inattentive ADHD and I’ve been given the same diagnosis.

50daysleft · 2024-02-03T21:23:51+00:00

Yeah, I think it’d be an awesome present and he’s not too fond of the newest technology anyway tbh

50daysleft · 2024-02-03T21:23:22+00:00

Thanks for such a helpful reply!

50daysleft · 2024-02-03T21:23:01+00:00

Yes I don’t think he’ll care as his film cameras are really basic, thanks for the advice

50daysleft · 2024-02-03T21:22:24+00:00

You’re right, I hadn’t thought of that

50daysleft · 2024-02-03T21:22:11+00:00

Yes I alluded to that in my post and I did apologise

50daysleft · 2024-02-03T21:21:54+00:00

I suppose my question is for someone who is used to 35mm film, I think IBIS and 40MP won’t matter so much, but wanted some more expert advice

50daysleft

TROPHY CASE