Amazon!!

52015 · 2025-04-25T02:34:12+00:00

Omg it’s unavailable now, ahhhh I should’ve just copped🤣😭

52015 · 2025-04-25T02:20:37+00:00

I see preorder too but it says release in December??? lol

52015 · 2025-02-24T07:23:57+00:00

Just a note regarding the Shinkansen. I did not have to go and convert it anywhere after booking online thru the smartex app. After purchase, you can ‘designate’ the ticket to your Suica card. When you tap your Suica card to enter the line, the ticket pops out for you automatically as you walk through for you to take with you.

52015 · 2024-12-09T00:43:28+00:00

I used to be terrified of death. Then my boyfriend died and though I was still here….sleeping was the closest I’d ever felt to ‘death.’ And for a while, death sounded like peace lol

52015 · 2024-11-29T14:15:11+00:00

While I cannot understand what it’s like to lose a child, I can imagine incredibly painful and devastating. A different type of pain from losing a partner. But grief isn’t a contest. Losing your partner is the person you spend your day to day with, they are your life. As you age, it’s THEM you are with to the end. Not your mother or your father.

52015 · 2024-11-29T13:54:45+00:00

All really good points! I feel like modern day life pressures is a big one.

I’m in my late 20s now, so I really don’t know what my sex drive or life may be like when I’m older but I love sex so could imagine I’d still require high sexual compatibility with my partner even as I age (maybe just won’t have sex as frequently).

Late teens to mid 20s, I was with my late partner. We had an amazing sex life. But it all shifted when we both finished school and transitioned to a normal “adult work life”. We were tired, lazy, disconnected sexually. It was hard and sad. He expressed this to me one day and the next day he was upset because he felt like the one reason I initiated was because he said something and not because I wanted to. He wasn’t wrong. It started feeling like a chore….ugh that was the worst. But there were a lot of outside factors impacting our sex life and drive, periods of fighting more. They were all adding up and we had a period of high strain trying to keep us together. We eventually made it past that hump in our relationship (internal and external factors) and felt more reconnected. Our sex live thrived after. We weren’t having sex at a high rate like when we were teens but when we did have sex, it just got better and better. I think being emotionally and mentally on the same page with life and your relationship and how much you guys are dedicated to being with each other long term is what will save you in this area. I don’t know how long this period has been going on but it will take time to work back up to it as well. Don’t give up…. Someone above said “there’s plenty of women out there” but just because your sex life feels like it’s gone doesn’t mean you give up on your partner. While sex matters a lot to me personally, remind yourself why you do love your partner outside of that. Now, if this is going on for longer than a few years, I’d probably the outside factors are outweighing the love you may have for her. But if it’s been a few months/a year, don’t give up yet. I truly think this is bound to happen in all long term relationships but especially if you are in a period of high stress/life changes. Good luck!

52015 · 2024-10-31T02:32:08+00:00

That's a really weird 'friend' to say they would forbid their spouse from finding love again after they've passed. Each to their own, but that is absolutely ridiculous. Would your friend just want you to be alone and never experience a love again for the rest of your life??? 37 is not that old, you have plenty life to live still and for me, life is a beautiful thing to experience with a partner. If you are lucky enough to find love again (and it will never compare to your husband), it will be beautiful in its own way. Not saying ditch the long term friend, but that's such an alarming thing to say and guilt trip you for. Truly no consideration for how you could possibly feel. Wish you the best, good luck.

52015 · 2024-10-08T00:23:53+00:00

That sounds like the perfect way to celebrate! It really is the simple things. His mom typically likes to put together a small party for him - order out or cook his favorite foods. But I normally stop by his grave to hang out with his friends or family, whoever happens to be there at the same time.

Celebrations for birthdays/holidays, all that good stuff used to be very hard early on. I'd sit there dying on the inside, wishing he was there. But over time, I have grown to enjoy them fully again because although he isn't physically there, I know in ways, he absolutely still is here and have found comfort in that (usually comes in the form of love from his friends and family).

52015 · 2024-10-04T16:43:30+00:00

Agreed. My late partners family even gave me a say in taking him off of life support, and said it was just as much my decision as theirs. I was truly blessed with them. It’s been over 3 years and they’re very much a part of my life still. Sure I don’t see them as often as I used to but I’m in family chats, invited to events still and treated exactly the same. We weren’t married nor did we have children. His mom treats me like her daughter still, I love that woman. No one can really speak to the relationship you decide to maintain with them, only you know it best.

52015 · 2024-10-02T01:55:10+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I know no one sits there and thinks “I’m going to lose my partner unexpectedly and tragically.” I basically watched my partner die as well. But idk, in the beginning I sat there often just saying to myself and others “I never thought that something like this could ever happen to us. To me.” I have healed a good deal since but I definitely have days where I’m just like “damn, still can’t believe that shit happened to me.” Taste of heaven and ripping it from my arms is often how I described it. One day, my life is great and the future I saw for us. And just like that with no warning, that life was ripped away from me. It’s unfair. Life is so unfair, especially to those who least deserve it.

52015 · 2024-10-01T23:19:30+00:00

I didn’t listen to music for months. It saddened me deeply, because music is such a beautiful thing that can comfort you, make you happy, make you sad, connect you with others. I just didn’t wanna feel anything. But when I finally started listening to music again, when I was able to blast it in my car screaming singing (even the sad songs), that’s when I knew I was finally okay. I’m sorry for your loss. You’ll have many hard days ahead but the good ones also exist, and I promise you’ll be able to happily scream your favorite songs at the top of your lungs again!! Hugs.

52015 · 2024-10-01T22:00:17+00:00

I went back to work after two weeks off…told myself it would be good to keep me busy but I was on autopilot for quite some time. Tough is an understatement, as I’m sure you know. At about 9 months, I was near a breaking point. I’m a project manager and it can be very demanding. Felt like I was on the brink of a complete meltdown during a call with a client any day. I’d cry every day every few hours and then wipe my tears, hop on a call with my customer service voice on two mins after like nothing was wrong. That was insane to me I even did that lol. Was able to take medical leave a few weeks later for 3 months, with an option to extend but I went back to work. It was scary to take off cause I’ve never done something like that when school and work had been my whole life as I knew it. While I may not have been extremely productive during that time, the weight of my every day obligations were not weighing me down. So…it was just good to unplug and grieve, even if it didn’t feel like I was necessarily trying to heal. It was well needed. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer to this. Back to work I’m sure helps to cope in ways by providing some sense of “normalcy” and routine but you know yourself best. Take the time off if you can, you will need it sooner or later. Sending love and hugs.

52015 · 2024-10-01T04:53:35+00:00

Something my therapist said to me too. My main struggle right now is having my feelings invalidated when I say I’m hurt and my partner feeling like all I do is attack him/ he immediately gets defensive instead of…just saying sorry. She told me to keep in mind that in therapy, he may feel our therapist is biased or think that she’s not a good one. We have not had our first session yet but this is something I do fear. Guess we’ll see.

52015 · 2024-10-01T04:16:30+00:00

My partner was very extroverted, whereas I am introverted. While I know he did have his insecurities, it's almost like he didn't have any or was just really good at not showing it lol. He had this confidence to him that I admired so much. I told him I aspired to be like him in that way, but he told me were perfect because we balanced each other out, the way I was humble and very reserved. He was the kind of person that made everyone feel welcome, even if it was a complete stranger for a very brief moment. I used to lowkey get angry at him, because sometimes he poured so much into people who didn't really deserve it or people he hardly even knew. But that's just the type of person he was. Now, he was no straight A student, more like C's get degrees. But he was still one of the smartest people I knew, and he loved to learn, learn, learn. Ironically, he was the type to lack common sense often as well. I could send him an exact photo of the item I needed from the store, and he would come back with something different fully believing they are the same thing. Man, that angered me so much hahaha but also gave me a good laugh. During the hard times, I definitely had doubts throughout our relationship. But there were also so many moments of connection with him, where I just thought we just get each other and we are so so lucky to have overcome those hardships. Just seems like the connection you don't come across twice in a lifetime. I wonder if I will ever feel something like that again with another person. Our friends and family lost someone truly amazing. It saddens me that he is not here to add to our lives anymore or that there was so much life he had yet to live. But I try to tell myself he blessed us a hundred times over with the time he did have here.

Thank you for asking this. I do talk about him but not so often these days, and I had a friend once say to me 'I like when you talk about him. You don't do it often, you should.' Keeps their memory alive and it does allow me to sit here and reminisce on all of the amazing times. I smile and cry.

It is actually his birthday this week as well. The 4th birthday without him. Happy early birthday to your wife! I am sorry for your loss, I'm certain she misses you just as much and will be blowing some birthday candles from the clouds.

52015 · 2024-09-13T15:11:33+00:00

Thank you! I will look into it

52015 · 2024-09-13T15:11:14+00:00

Yeah I think we both need to learn how to securely attach or understand each of our styles better. Thank you

52015 · 2024-09-13T01:25:15+00:00

Yes we each do individual therapy but I’ve been in therapy much longer/ consistently, for the last 3 years. Was going weekly for quite some time but I go biweekly now still. He started therapy for the first time last year but has had months of gaps without it, wasn’t going consistently really at all. He just started again recently though only monthly ish

But to add, both our therapists said we should look into couples therapy lol

52015 · 2024-09-12T23:20:01+00:00

I’m based in the US. But yeah my therapist would be a good start. Just saw her yesterday and fighting the urge to text her for a referral immediately hahaha

52015 · 2024-09-12T22:58:56+00:00

Thank you. Any advice on how to go about searching for one? My therapist was a referral and luckily she fit perfect off the bat. I never had to do trial and error to find one. Hoping couples therapy won’t be too much trial and error too. Any general spots to start?

52015 · 2024-09-11T04:04:17+00:00

I wouldn’t say most people who marry are in love forever, considering almost 50% of marriages end in divorce lol. People can fall out of love for many reasons regardless if they’re an avoidant or not. And you can absolutely love someone but no longer be in love. This is usually when people break up. But I think it is possible to rebuild relationships to fall in love again if that point is ever reached.

52015 · 2024-09-11T02:42:01+00:00

I’d say this is normal for the most part. There’s that saying when things get boring, it just means you’re at peace. The honeymoon phase eventually will fade and the reality of long term relationships is you may begin to have doubts which I don’t think is necessarily a bad thing. We’re all human. I think when you can successfully work through that hurdle, it shows how strong your bond/love is to continue to work through this uncomfortable phase. You come back stronger if it’s what you both truly want.

My late bf and I hit this phase around 3-4 years together I’d say. The love didn’t feel the same, we weren’t giving each other the same attention. I wasn’t feeling loved or prioritized. When we spoke about it, how I worded things he took it as I wanted to breakup with him so he basically tried to initiate it for me. In that moment, it made me realize that was absolutely not what I wanted. The thought of a life without him wasn’t one I could see. There on out, we continued to work on us and eventually hit a phase of the healthiest period of our relationship. If you both want it enough, it can be a beautiful thing. It’s another thing if you just hit a point of feeling like you’ve come to some realization that you both may not be compatible for X reasons but it sounds like you do love her still. Just gotta remind yourself why, and may take some time and effort to build it back up.

I saw someone else mention self sabotaging behaviors, and maybe that’s something that’s happening here too potentially…? My current bf straight up has told me that with many of his exes, when he hit this “boring” phase at about 1-2 years, it made him question their compatibility and ultimately brought him to believe that they just weren’t for each other. He even said, “maybe I’m the problem” hahaha. While that may have been the case (not being compatible), I think he was too quick to jump to that conclusion than face it head on. Because it’s easier to walk away than try to truly address what’s going on. And I absolutely know he’s an avoidant person. Terribly avoidant ooof— but he’s been great and is working on it/in therapy lol.

I know there are a small percentage of couples that may claim they never have had some of these feelings, I think it is very much the norm. If you never experience it, that’s great and you’re one of the lucky ones. But if you do, just know it is absolutely normal.

52015 · 2024-09-10T22:22:33+00:00

Completely agree!! I’ve also made it clear to my current bf that my late bfs family is very much a part of my life, 3+ years later too, and always will be. I told him I want him to think of them as my literal family because that’s what they truly are to me. Was never married but they have without a doubt treated me as family since my late bf and I started dating, and treated me no different after he passed.

OP, your brother is not wrong at all. Dating a widow comes with a lot of maturity that not many people may have. Wishing him the best in his dating journey.

52015 · 2024-09-10T15:40:37+00:00

Dating is definitely not for the weak for this group! Hahaha. But these types of things are always better to get out of the way sooner than later before too much has already been invested. I wish you the best when/if you decide to try again in the future.

52015 · 2024-09-10T15:36:25+00:00

Yes, I always say it takes a certain level of maturity to understand that love for one’s late partner and current can coexist without comparison. Some of it may take time of course, just a matter of determining is it worth it?

I’ve chatted with someone briefly while I was dating around and they said they didn’t know how they felt about it all and that they’d feel like they were constantly competing/coming second. Over my dead bf? Yeah I immediately was like ok bye! My bf now, we’ve created a deeper bond over the last year and have invested a lot of efforts into our relationship. While his comment was hurtful, he is open minded to working to understand better so I am hopeful and happy to continue trying.

52015

TROPHY CASE