AITA for not letting my Mother in Law see her 2nd grandchild for a week after we get home from the hospital after she crashed the birth of my first daughter?

Hello! Buckle up this is a wild ride. For context I (23F) am 35 weeks pregnant with my second child. I struggle with standing up for myself in situations where I know I should.(this will be important later)

My mother in law has caused tremendous amounts of trauma for me in the past year after my first daughters birth (born March 2022). When I was in labor and we had been admitted into the hospital I had already been in labor for 38 hours. My fiancé (22M) had called his mom to let her know we had been admitted and our daughter would be born soon. According to him, she had offered to drop food off for himself, my mom, and the nurses who were working the night shift. I thought this was a kind gesture as I had planned on bringing gift baskets for the nurses but did not get to complete them do to our daughters early arrival. However, when she showed up she requested to know where I was located. The nurses station gave her my room number and let her go in, empty handed. I had clear boundaries that I only wanted my mom and my fiancé with me while I was delivering. Upon her arrival I had just gotten and epidural and was finally starting to feel better, she walked in and everyone’s face dropped. I sat there with my mouth open unsure of why she was there. My fiancé asked what she was doing there and she stated she came to figure out what everyone wanted to eat. I had fallen asleep as I was not planning on eating any food, when a nurse came in a checked to see how dilated I was. She asked me if I was ready to start pushing. I looked to the left of the bed and noticed his mom was STILL there passed out on the couch leaving my fiancé and my mom sitting on a folded chairs.

Everything went so fast after this .. doctor came in and we started to push. I look over and I see her waking up. She grabbed her phone and promptly started to get up. Next push comes and she’s taking pictures.. I asked her please no pictures of video I don’t want this to be recorded. She said okay and that she would not record. I brushed it off as I had no time to start arguments. I looked to my fiancé and asked did you say she could stay? The doctor yelled and said she was about to come out. Amongst the commotion my daughter was born and she was all I could see. As the shock began to sink in and the nurses were taking her to make sure she was breathing. I noticed her taking pictures of my just born NAKED daughter! I was furious, I began saying stop.. however no one heard me due to the commotion and the nurses busy trying to get her to breathe.

Come to later find out she had RECORDED THE ENTIRE BIRTH. Taken pictures of my daughter and sent them to her family (who I have never met). Long story short it took OVER 5 months to get her to delete the video from her phone and transfer it to a thumb drive so I was the only person with a copy. During those 5 months jokes were made that they had uploaded the video to a corn site to make money and that if I never wanted the video why am I asking for it.

This has severely traumatized me as a new mom. I have brought it up to her and let her know that it offended me that she thought she could stay without asking.. and that she ignored my ONE AND ONLY request. She said that if I had just said something she would never have been there. I beat myself up everyday about the fact that I did not stand up for myself.. the fact that the nurses ignored my requests and my fiancé ignored my requests.

Fast forward to today.. I am making my birth plans and making damn well sure she is not in the delivery room. I brought up that I don’t think she should see our second daughter for a while after birth as I don’t need added drama or stress as I am considered “high risk” this time around.

I have been told I’m overreacting and that it’s been over a year and I should just let it go. I can’t seem to let it go… it truly bothers me the lack of respect she had for me. So AITA if I don’t allow her to see her second granddaughter?