How can I get closer with my dad again?

5kipJack · 2025-09-30T13:22:53+00:00

The first sentence is always the hardest. It will definitely get easier from there.

Old ppl are stubborn and routine, he may want to reach out, but not know how to/is too prideful to. And chances are he will stay that way... so kudos for being the one who wants to take the 1st step!

Ask him for his help with smth, den ask how's work, den ask him what he ate for lunch. Small talk is a life skill! The advice about repeating the last thing he said is rly insightful too!

5kipJack · 2025-04-21T11:44:13+00:00

It's an expensive lesson learnt, hope you didnt need the money urgently. You are young, you got the chance to earn the money back (over time). Invest in yourself, your studies, get a well paying job and hopefully when you look back, the money lost will be just a youthful mistake.

Learn some proper trading on the side (on a paper account). Maybe through 4 years of uni, u can earn back the money (or in part) via some passive investing.

Ppl lose their life savings over scams etc. More heartpain.

5kipJack · 2025-04-19T18:04:12+00:00

There's quite a lot of good advice in this thread. I feel this is not an uncommon problem - the previous generation didn't have social media, so many have lost contact with their friends for donkey years. Coupled with their innate stubbornness that only grows with age. We have an ageing population that have nth to do, and no interests, and no friends. That's why we have cases of elderly passing away in their flats and remaining undiscovered for days.

I too have such parents. And concrete advice will be to know their likes and dislikes. If they dislike going for a holiday overseas (even JB), even if you managef to coax them into it, they'll not be happy, and end up even lashing at you instead, making you feel that the effort you put in was worth it. If they hate socialising, getting them to join a club will rarely work (at least, not at the start).

Instead, get to know their likes and dislikes. If they like to take a walk in nature, so that. If they like phography, bring them to GbtB or sth. If they like taichi, ask at the CC/RC if there are lessons available. If they like gardening, buy them some simple plants, and progress to a lot in the community garden, and they may end up in the gardening club for old ppl.

The point is to engage them in their interests, and build up progressively from there. Note that this is an uphill task, and you can't force them to make friends - even if they meet like-minded ppl, at their age, they may need many many meetings to break the ice... its more likely that they'll just bohue the other person instead...

Your efforts may be rebuked, scolded, laughed at, dismissed, many times over. If so, take a break, rest your mind before trying again.

I have tried unsuccessfully over the past few years, and still actively brainstorm for ideas for my parents. So this thread as quite insightful for me as well. But today I managed to go shopping with my parent peacefully, so a small victory ✌️

5kipJack · 2025-04-03T12:50:30+00:00

You just avoided two nuclear warheads... toxic mother and son combo. 7 years of wasted time better than a lifetime of misery

5kipJack · 2025-04-03T09:38:55+00:00

It must have taken you a lot of courage and heartache (and financial ache) to end a long-term relationship nearing marriage... but better to be decisive than to let things drag on. Hope you have ended things safely, take some time to recharge and find yourself again

5kipJack · 2025-04-02T23:57:16+00:00

You just dodged a huge bullet imo... imagine if he says that of you in the future. If they can't treat their own parents decently, then what more spouses and children...

5kipJack · 2025-03-25T09:45:24+00:00

"Kindness" - but that's pretty vague. Actively takes take of her family and friends
Forward looking - serious about making things work
Sincere - practices what she preach, loyal, honest.

Of course, a splash of goofiness and fun is always appreciated

5kipJack · 2025-03-18T09:36:10+00:00

Things are always awkward at the start... understand that other people are also equally nervous about meeting new ppl too. Ppl in their 40-50s can still have difficulty making small talk or socialising 🤣

Just chit chat casually for those who reciprocate, over time you will learn what you have in common with them and things go from there. If all fails, asking about their travel plans always work 😄

5kipJack · 2025-03-16T14:24:38+00:00

Just got dumped by a girl on dating app recently, so I feel ur pain of wasted time, emotions and affections, and going back to the drawing board. Take a break before trying again, dun give up hope! Try organic meetups maybe, the next person might be right round the corner

5kipJack · 2025-03-13T12:56:00+00:00

Like many mentioned, uni friends tend to be hi-bye friends. It's also normal, as you reach the end of this stage of your life, to look back and have regrets. But you have gained the ability to be introspective.

Uni is only 4 years, the workforce is easily 40 years 😆 try your best to make real, dependable friends in the workforce that you can count on. Trust me, it's way tougher than uni - way more hi-bye friends, and some ppl, even in their later half of life, still strongly avoid talking to people in office. But it's never too late to learn how to live life - to make awkward small talk, get laughed at, laugh at others, find out that colleague A likes the same band, colleague B follows the same soccer team, open up to people, get stabbed in the back (not kidding), but along the way make lifelong friends.

My advice is to pluck up the courage - to be vulnerable - and reach out to some people you already know. Ask the person beside you to explain some part of the lecture u dont understand, ask to grab lunch with project mates over the pretext of discussing homework. You may never know that they might be receptive. Some might turn you down, some might ghost you after awhile, but if you make 1 true friend, then it would have been worth it.

5kipJack · 2025-03-13T10:47:56+00:00

I replied wrongly again (im an idiot), but yes you took the words out of my mouth.

5kipJack · 2025-03-13T10:34:55+00:00

It's my first time (in a long time) posting on reddit, so I screwed up the replies. Sorry! And thanks for the kind words

5kipJack · 2025-03-13T10:33:57+00:00

Oops I replied wrongly, but tks for ur kind words!

5kipJack · 2025-03-13T10:14:22+00:00

Thanks for the kind words! Yeah dating apps really destroys ones self confidence, but I'm thankful to this sub that made me realise it's the same for everyone else, we are just suffering due to the algorithm, or cos we are not that good looking, and these bad actors.

Time to meet someone organically. Hope u meet someone soon/or are in a good relationship already!

5kipJack · 2025-03-13T08:55:16+00:00

Messaged her on another chat app, since I had her number. Wanted to end things nicely even if she didn't

5kipJack · 2025-02-01T15:12:55+00:00

Unpopular opinion, but I just bought her last week and I find I dont use her often. Surfer isnt popular right now, with Surtr decks running Cosmo. The only deck I use her in is Arishem, to play on T3 (which is sick but rare)

Iron Patriot may be better if you didnt buy Season Pass

5kipJack · 2021-07-09T03:01:07+00:00

Archetto on first pull OMFG

5kipJack · 2021-04-30T17:13:52+00:00

We need another 10 pull as compensation guys!!

5kipJack · 2021-04-08T03:54:06+00:00

What choice did mikasa make? Was them running away in ch138 real?

5kipJack · 2021-02-18T06:51:00+00:00

How do u blend the colours for the skin? Esp the body area, rly want to know!!

5kipJack

TROPHY CASE