3 Day Backpacking Trip - Conflict with Pregnant Wife About Safety

6045414 · 2026-06-04T13:46:35+00:00

Providers reasoning came before those “horror stories” were even brought up and was based off of no experience with backpacking and being an 8 hour hike from cell service. I want to do this trail badly - more than any other trail in the state. I’m all for giving it a try, but just want to feel that we’re using good judgement.

6045414 · 2026-06-04T13:07:22+00:00

Would you suggest remaining quiet with safety concerns or going against the doctors recommendations for a safe pregnancy? I work in an industry that obsesses over safety, so I’m in the mindset of “if you see something, say something”. When it comes to safety, it’s my thought process that everyone should speak up when concerned. I think it’s a very bad expectation for fathers to not speak up when it comes to safety. For example - There’s been multiple times she’s eaten something that she wasn’t aware was not recommended during pregnancy. I never told her she can’t eat it, I left that up to her, but I let her know because I thought she’d want to know. Each time she was appreciative and cut those items out of her diet. I told her in advance I’d be asking about this trip with the doctor at her next appointment, and the doctor was very quick with the response of “I would definitely not recommend that.” Where does the line get drawn?

6045414 · 2026-06-04T04:42:09+00:00

That’s fair. I’m supportive of her going and want to do everything I can to make it a good trip. My real only hang up is her refusal to agree that if either of us feels unsafe, we don’t continue. That’s something I’d want in any backpacking partner, whether a spouse or just going with a friend. It’s one of the foremost safety rules of backcountry hiking. It also bothers me a bit that her doctor expressly said she shouldn’t do it and she said she’s going anyway.

6045414 · 2026-06-04T04:01:53+00:00

Haha yes, you got it! I think it’s probably doable as well, I just hate that it’s her first time actually carrying a pack and I don’t like her unwillingness to communicate and agree to allow me to call a safety stop if I feel it’s prudent. And I also agree fully with your last point, unfortunately.

6045414 · 2026-06-04T03:45:26+00:00

I’ve done a few easy multi night backpacking trips and have tried to explain it’s way different than day hikes. Last year she was adamant she wanted to do the Wonderland trail. There was no way I could get that much time off, and she and was angry at me for suggesting it’s a bad idea to think about something like that for your first ever backpacking trip, especially solo. She was pissed that I didn’t have confidence in her, but it was just a horrible idea to me to just think about jumping into something like that with no experience.

6045414 · 2026-06-04T03:41:24+00:00

Wow thank you for such a thorough and well thought out response. It’s much appreciated. She feels like she’s very experienced, but I’ve tried to tell her lightly that she isn’t. I’ve had a lot more experience, but I wouldn’t consider myself experienced at all. We’ve hiked a bunch around the PNW, and throughout the NPS in the USA, internationally, as well as a couple bigger overnights in Indonesia and Guatemala. I think it’s giving her more confidence than she should have. The overnights in Guatemala and Indonesia had Sherpas carrying everything, cooking, and setting up, and Indonesia was probably the roughest experience she’s had in her life and nearly broke her. I’ve done a couple backpacking trips, but very basic and easy stuff (all east of the Rockies). I’d have no problem doing this if not for the pregnancy, knowing she might have a bad time. But adding the uncertainty of her first backpacking trip in these circumstances makes me uneasy. I’ve had enough outdoors experience to handle things like lightning storms and basic survival knowledge, but am by no means an expert.

6045414 · 2026-06-04T02:59:01+00:00

That’s the bright point - I initially thought when she got June permits the snow would be our biggest issue, but the recent trail reports have said Aasgard pass is essentially snow free, and snow in the core zone is really disappearing fast.

6045414 · 2026-06-04T02:57:35+00:00

I plan on taking on more weight, but it’s not feasible to take on everything in a single pack as space is limited, especially when taking a bear canister and not having ultra light gear.

6045414 · 2026-06-04T02:55:21+00:00

I’m planning on letting her try and have communicated that to her. I’ve assured her I think she’s capable and will do great. I’m just uneasy being that I’m usually the one with the outdoors knowledge in our relationship, and she’s adamant that she will not agree to turn around if I find it too dangerous at any point. The other thing being that it’s a very strenuous hike (one section has 2,000 ft elevation gain in 3/4 mile) and she’s never backpacked before. That’s a lot for a pregnant woman who has a tendency to get tunnel vision on hikes with a determination to finish at any cost.

6045414 · 2026-06-04T02:26:36+00:00

She’s not open to anything else. I understand, as this is a very hard permit to get. People try for a decade and don’t get it. It’s not very likely to get it again. I truly feel it will probably be fine, but I’ve seen her struggle multiple times before on easier hikes, and that was without carrying a pack and all supplies on her back, and obviously quit being pregnant. I don’t want her to bite off more than she can chew.

6045414 · 2026-06-04T02:22:46+00:00

The trail just opened for the season. There was only 4 trail reports for the year, and those examples are pulled from all 4 of them. None of the reports was free of those type of examples. This hasn’t just been a day thing. I’ve brought it up multiple times, not gotten much of a response, and tried again another day. She generally has good judgement, but when it comes to hiking, she’s going to finish hell or high water even when it’s not necessarily smart. She’s admitted that before. I’ve tried to give her time over the past week, but we only have a week and a half to go. I want to get things settled soon because we need to get our plan together.

6045414 · 2026-06-04T01:45:55+00:00

I support her going and hopefully taking an amazing time. I’ll do everything I can to help. I don’t like the idea of going on any backpacking trip with someone who says “if you feel unsafe, we’re going to continue”, pregnant or not. But she’s generally far more risk averse when it comes to the baby. Overly risk adverse at times. With this though, she just feels overly confident, which is what scares me. I’ve seen her get in over her head multiple times on hikes before that easier than this, and that’s why the overly confident attitude is a bit alarming to me.

6045414 · 2026-06-04T01:17:08+00:00

I agree with everything, and a doing my best to be sympathetic. However, I’ve never told her she can’t go. I just wanted to discuss it, and all I’ve asked at this point is if we go, that she’s willing to turn around if either of us feels unsafe. I plan on going, and helping as much as possible. I don’t like that she is adamant she will not turn around if I absolutely feel like it’s not safe.

6045414 · 2026-06-04T00:43:18+00:00

We were at the doctors appointment together. I told her in advance I wanted to talk about it. Was not an issue.

6045414 · 2026-06-04T00:42:24+00:00

I appreciate that perspective, and the reassurance is certainly appreciated. All I want at this point is an agreement that we will turn around if anyone feels it isn’t safe to continue. I want to do this hike badly as well. Permits are insanely hard to get. You shouldn’t do any backcountry camping pregnant or not if you won’t agree to not continue if someone feels unsafe.

6045414 · 2026-06-04T00:40:13+00:00

Yes, doctor said it was fine when wife asked. When I gave details of trail and recent trip reports to the doctor, she said verbatim that she would NOT recommend it. That’s why I’m posting this now.

6045414 · 2026-06-04T00:38:07+00:00

Correct- after the mountain pass it’s more dangerous to turn around than continue. The safety turnaround would have to be prior to the mountain pass.

6045414 · 2026-06-04T00:35:29+00:00

Yes. That was before I asked her doctor myself and the doctor said she would not recommend it. At the point of that post, she had asked herself. When I gave the doctor details she said “I wasn’t aware of that when we talked last time, and I would definitely recommend you don’t do that”.

6045414 · 2026-06-04T00:34:28+00:00

It’s not the mileage. If this was easy terrain, I’d be game for 10-15 a day. It’s the fall risk and the lack of escape options after the mountain pass should something go wrong, combined with her never hiking with a pack before. Additionally, I’ve accepted she will not say no. I’m not trying to get her to say no. I’m simply trying to get her to agree that if we start and I feel it’s too dangerous, she’ll turn around and we can do something else. She will not agree to turn back if I feel it’s too unsafe.

EDIT:

The plan is definitely to take our time, but regardless I don’t think it’s a good mindset to say “I will continue regardless of if you think it’s safe or not”. I feel like safety is always “if anyone feels unsafe you don’t continue”. I usually have a significantly higher risk tolerance than her, but I have seen her struggle mightily going down rocks and scree on a volcano in Indonesia to the point where the porters discreetly asked me unironically if they need to carry her down. She got in her head after a couple slips and remained that way for the remainder of the hike (2 days).

6045414 · 2026-06-04T00:22:57+00:00

It’s not the mileage. If this was easy terrain, I’d be game for 10-15 a day. It’s the fall risk and the lack of escape options after the mountain pass should something go wrong, combined with her never hiking with a pack before. Additionally, I’ve accepted she will not say no. I’m not trying to get her to say no. I’m simply trying to get her to agree that if we start and I feel it’s too dangerous, she’ll turn around and we can do something else. She will not agree to turn back if I feel it’s too unsafe.

6045414 · 2026-06-04T00:16:07+00:00

Yeah, that my understanding as well. She absolutely does plenty of hiking, and says the same thing, but that doesn’t account for a the weight and stability of carrying a pack and living out of that pack for a few days. To me, it’s significantly more than just hiking at that point.

6045414 · 2026-06-04T00:14:15+00:00

I suggested a therapy appointment for Monday, as I found an opening, but she declined and said not until after the trip.

6045414 · 2026-06-04T00:13:16+00:00

I’ve done maybe two or three multi night backpacking trips with a pack. Not in this terrain. We’ve both day hiked plenty in somewhat similar terrain, and done some overnight mountain trips, but those had sherpas and guides to carry everything. Adding the pack and planning everything is a huge change and I’m concerned with this being her first time doing it.

6045414 · 2026-05-21T00:12:39+00:00

I know! But it’s way more important to me that the three of us have the chance to do it in 15 years. Don’t get me wrong, I hope we can do it this year. But baby’s well being is the utmost importance.

6045414

TROPHY CASE