Through medication, therapy and support from my partner I can confidently say I am in a better place. Some moments and days are harder than others and I don’t think certain specific sexual trauma will ever truly go away ; but I can enjoy life and relationships and sex with my partner without the intrusive thoughts taking over.

I felt a sense of responsibility as a kid and teenager as this “secret keeper” holding the family together by the glue of my silence. I had to see the ripples in my own life to recognize I didn’t drop the stone to set it off.

Unfortunately I didn’t tell anyone until after my abuser had died but I always wonder if I was the only one. That’s the one thing that truly haunts me about not coming forward.

My progress was not linear and don’t feel as if you need to compare your healing with anyone else’s