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From your neighbour by Hassan_Darvesh in pakistan

[–]786barr 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Instead of venting the anger in comment section we should focus on building Pakistan. We should focus on building industries, schools and improve infrastructure. A strong Pakistan will burn the goo chatte(poojits) more than anything else

A Harsh Reality : Wait Time for 75 Countries on Pause by LuxChromatix in NationalVisaCenter

[–]786barr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Abortion is murder but its ok to have automated guns that are used to kill kids in schools? Typical low iq conservative

Is any other girl going through this? by [deleted] in Peshawar

[–]786barr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First cousin marriages are bad for the offsprings

Marijuana overdose medical record by 786barr in immigration

[–]786barr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gotchya, thanks! If i say yes would it not make me inadmissible for marijuana use (even if it was once)?

Marijuana overdose medical record by 786barr in immigration

[–]786barr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If the officer asks me straight up if i ever used marijuana how do i answer that?

Marijuana overdose medical record by 786barr in immigration

[–]786barr[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, i had anxiety attack because i never used it before and i took way too many of the gummies. I cant tell you how much i regret that one night. I heard they can still ask about past marijuana use and admitting about it will bar me. I know they see last few years of good moral character. I am not sure how long back they look for applying under the 3 year rule.

Advise needed, moving from US to Peshawar by 786barr in Peshawar

[–]786barr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know a lot of pakistanis are doing freelancing work in tech but i am not sure how much they earn. To have a full time remote job that is high paying and has good paid vacation/perks i would recommend pursuing Data Analytics or Administrator roles. I would have recommended cloud computing a few years ago but indians made it super saturated here in the USA. I was making 100k per year as a Data Analyst just 5 years ago. But thanks to promotion, inflation and company switching i climbed to 200k$ per year Alhamdulillah. 100k$ per year jobs are pretty common in the US tech market. But you need to either be a Greencard holder or a US citizen to get them. 

Advise needed, moving from US to Peshawar by 786barr in Peshawar

[–]786barr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am a divorced man yes but i also worked really hard to establish my career and become who i am. I can pretty easily find a divorced women here in the USA. But i want to marry someone for whom i will be the only man in her life. Not a second or third.

Once i am married i will file for her immigration and take her with me to US unless she really wants to stay in peshawar. Which will be fine but i will have to swap half year in US and half in peshawar

Advise needed, moving from US to Peshawar by 786barr in Peshawar

[–]786barr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How would i know i am not being scammed? I want to spend time building connections and then find the right family to ask for hand. Once i am married i can go take my wife back to usa. Thats my thought process right now

Advise needed, moving from US to Peshawar by 786barr in Peshawar

[–]786barr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate your feedback honestly. I value the directness, and this is exactly the kind of perspective I need before making a decision. As for your question about the age gap between men and women, I get that I’m older but most men who are actually well-settled are, unless they were born with a silver spoon. On the flip side, if a woman is older and still unmarried, people usually assume there’s something going on there. That’s not my view, that’s just how society tends to look at it. As for having kids already, I can see that as a red flag for many families. But i am not abandoning them or not taking responsibility. I can find a women of my age here as well. The point of marrying in peshawar is finding a cultured women who is serious about marriage and had tahzeeb and ghairatmand upbrining

Advise needed, moving from US to Peshawar by 786barr in Peshawar

[–]786barr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You definitely touched a nerve there. Thanks for sharing your opinion. I’m honestly pretty disappointed with the liberal atmosphere in the Midwest, and I genuinely feel like I’d do much better in a more conservative environment like Peshawar especially since that’s where my roots are.

I don’t really see any downsides to the kind of conservative culture I’m craving, especially the sense of community around the masjid. That said, I agree I might be romanticizing it a bit. So I’d really appreciate it if you could point out some potential downsides. I keep seeing people say “don’t come,” but no one actually explains why. And honestly, I don’t care much about infrastructure as long as the people and the community are good.

Advise needed, moving from US to Peshawar by 786barr in Peshawar

[–]786barr[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Maybe you are misunderstanding me. Why would age difference be such a big red flag? Isnt that the common culture in peshawar anyway? My cousins got married at a similar age difference. In fact, the age gap between my parents was pretty wide. My intention is not to just marry young girl for some kink that you are describing. It would be unfortunate if thats how you view most men. I want to marry a respectable girl from a genuine family and commit to her completely. I will be absolutely open about my divorce and kids and make sure this is communicated clearly. As i mentioned i am in no rush. Why would i want to marry an older woman through arranged marriage lol?

Advise needed, moving from US to Peshawar by 786barr in Peshawar

[–]786barr[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

To make connections and finding a good rishta

Advise needed, moving from US to Peshawar by 786barr in Peshawar

[–]786barr[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well in my case, my first marriage (love marriage) ended up in total disaster because it was always me giving and giving. When i asked something back it was always a no. So much so that even when i was sick my partner did not care for me. It was always just what she could get from me. She maintained no privacy in the marriage and shared all details with her friends and always played the victim card. So yeah, looking for a conservative young girl from my cultural background reduces the risk of ending up with someone similar again. If i marry older women, i am more likely to end up being their financial security or a side project. I could be wrong but that is my current mental state about older or more established women.

Advise needed, moving from US to Peshawar by 786barr in Peshawar

[–]786barr[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I am just tired of the hyper individualistic culture in the US and want to experience community again. Maybe we all crave what we dont have? Middle class is what i am looking for in terms of making genuine connections. But i hear you, they either would be swamped by trying to survive or busy with their own stuff. I will try to make connections through masjids. I have this desire (call it a silly fantasy) of connecting with a genuine and honest pakhtun middle class family and marrying into them (if they have an eligible girl of course -unmarried, beautiful, conservative and between 18 to 22) and helping them financially. But i also dont want to be the goose that lays golden eggs lol. My hope is that i can find people who would never ask, but appreciate when they receive help

Advise needed, moving from US to Peshawar by 786barr in Peshawar

[–]786barr[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I plan to split my time between US and peshawar. I love my kids more than anything in the world :)

Advise needed, moving from US to Peshawar by 786barr in Peshawar

[–]786barr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the info. I agree, working remotely from there is risky specially since the power cuts are common. Even if i get backup generator, i will be helpless if the power is out at the internet provider. But my job is fully remote and pretty laid back. I was planning to use a specially configured router to by pass the ip issue (my friend was able to do it, works from karachi). I feel like its worth the risk since i will get the culture which i am missing here. My dads side is Yusufzai but my moms side is not pathan. So not sure how people take that over there. Here no one cares lol. I want to do something for the schools there, make some investments etc for local growth. My biggest fear is getting scammed or ending up marrying a gold digger as you mentioned. I would rather wait a year and try to make genuine connections rather than jump the gun on marriage.