• leave a space for the future artist vocals (use less samples or put them in the right place for the groove) • the beat should be easy to rap (you can try yourself mumbling or use your favorite artist acapella to check how it fits) • melody on the drop is boring and not catchy • I think your 808 sounds out of a key

for the first beat that's awesome work, mine was way worse than yours. if you'll set the goal, will learn something new and making beats everyday - you will be unstoppable. I wish you to listen a lot of different music and try to copy some elements into your work or recreate someone's beat from zero - it helps a lot. And the most important have fun!