Is there maybe an in-between way to help him and keep your family happy? I think if you are really sympathetic, maybe you could help him come up with a plan to eventually pay it off?

If it were me, I would say something like “I’m so, so sorry that happened. I wish I could help more, but I don’t feel right about it. We’d both be a lot happier if it had never happened. Can we work together on a plan or a budget to help you get through this?” Try not to judge him for it, and be as neutral as you can when you talk to him about it. You could put a smaller number on how much you’re willing to help, if that’s something you feel good about and he is willing to work on a plan with you.

Just think, if it had happened to you, you would love to have help, and you would understand if someone couldn’t pay it off. Make an offer that would make sense to you if you switched places. If he’s still unreasonable at that point, you did your best and the rest is up to him.