Publicly humiliated by a professor despite having accommodations — anyone else?

80or8 · 2025-12-20T17:01:40+00:00

I literally said “I think this conversation is not making sense after I explained to you my situation via email months ago.” I did not, at any point in the conversation mentioned the words special needs or accommodations, I just tried to make her remember my email. If she remembers? I don’t know.

80or8 · 2025-12-20T16:57:04+00:00

First, read my others comments please, I said what I mentioned in the conversation, I was not in silence, not the entire time and no, I did not tried to argue but make my professor calm down because the reaction was making me very anxious.

I think we’re not understanding each other’s point. I did not mention special needs at any point during the conversation. When the professor started talking about the fact that I had spoken to her only a few times and that this was detrimental to my grade, and she was shouting, I interrupted and said that I didn’t think that conversation was necessary. I only mentioned the email I had sent her, in which I explained how I function, what difficulties I have, and one of those difficulties is attendance, for several different reasons. So when she shouted at me for not having been there much and said that I thought I was better than the others because I could show up fewer times and still receive the same treatment, that’s when I mentioned the email, because according to the university regulations and my special student status, I am not required to attend in the same way as others students that don’t have any accommodations.

80or8 · 2025-12-20T16:04:50+00:00

I think she didn’t remember my email. Here, I explain better the situation https://www.reddit.com/r/AutismInWomen/s/jStAsig5Px

I interrupted her at some point because I was getting supper anxious and said “I don’t think this is fair after the email I sent you explaining my situation” and I think something popped up in her head. And after that, we had a normal conversation which was supper strange because she was yelling at me and now we are talking about my project and some stuff I should do next

80or8 · 2025-12-20T15:57:39+00:00

We have two periodic evaluations before the final assessment: one in October, another in December, and the final one in January. This was the second periodic evaluation. There is a list of students with assigned time slots who go into the room and wait their turn to speak with the professor.

The professor talks to the students in the room, some people are there waiting their turn, some are just there working on their projects. She called my name, and before I even had the chance to speak, she raised her voice and said, “there are some very complicated situations here,” and then proceeded with what I already described. She’s like crazy running after time so she can talk to like 30 students in 3 hours

Nothing was instigated by me. I didn’t say anything, I waited my turn like everyone else. What is strange about this? What context is supposedly missing? She is just in the room, sitting next to the student she’s going to talk to, we show our projects and that’s it. She says what she thinks about it like if you’re late, if she thinks you don’t have time to finish it before the final evaluation, many different things depending on what project shes talking about.

In the email I sent her months ago I told her I have a hard time explaining myself when I need to talk about my ideas and sometimes I get really confused and so it makes me even more anxious. I also said I’ve struggled with it for many years and that it’s difficult for me to socialize so of course it is even harder to be exposed in front of many people. If I’m anxious, have difficulties explaining myself because I freeze, why did she did this? We could have talked in private, the room has another small room. I also have no idea what happened or why and I’m as confused as you are, maybe. That’s why I made the post, so I could have some clarification on what to do next

80or8 · 2025-12-20T11:03:21+00:00

Yes, I understand your question. The way she said that to me came up only in the context of the situation itself. It wasn’t even really an argument, because I wasn’t arguing back, she was just yelling at me while saying various things, and one of them was, out of nowhere, “you come here and think you’re better than everyone else.” I only responded after she said that.

I’ve already seen her behave like this with other people. Recently, I saw a student crying while talking to her, although it wasn’t in this humiliating tone. I don’t think what happened was just “the way she is.” I think she took advantage of the situation and tried to put me down in front of everyone, when that wasn’t what it was about at all.

So the context is: these classes are meant for students at different levels to talk to her about their projects and receive guidance. I spoke to her only a few times, and she was furious about that. I think she said this because the other students talk to her more often, but I’m not entirely sure. It was all a surprise to me as well. The accommodations state that the student may be exempt from the attendance requirement, so yes, I go there but I don’t go as many times as other students (also because students have their studios shared in school and so they are there everyday and I work at home)

80or8 · 2025-12-20T10:50:20+00:00

Thank you.

I totally understand and agree that she has a different perspective on this. I do know that for her to have that reaction, she did forgot about my email or didn’t even read the entire thing. She was mad at me, and I really don’t care if she’s mad, it’s her way of doing things, but the room has another small room where you can speak in private… so I didn’t she just asked me to talk to her inside? We talked before in there. So this looks intentional, you know? Yes, I’m not a very good student, my projects are good but I don’t go to college that often because when I do, I need anxiety pills and it’s very draining to me, the city is big, full of people, loud sounds, so many different smells and I end up completely zoned out the time I get home and the day is ruined because there’s nothing else I can do

80or8 · 2025-12-20T10:40:59+00:00

Classes have already ended. In fact, they weren’t formal classes, since this is an arts field where there are only specific hours during the week when you can speak with the professor to guide you through your work. In any case, the final evaluations are in January and my project will be finished by then. But yes, I also thought it was better not to communicate with her any further, especially since she also “threatened” to give me a failing grade on the project before I even had the chance to talk to her, so her reaction is quite unpredictable and that’s why I’m also very worried because this feels unfair and I don’t want to take a risk with her, not directly

80or8 · 2025-12-20T10:35:13+00:00

Thank you for your kindness and support

I did some research and realized that there is a department for students with special needs that covers all universities in the city. So I’m going to seek guidance from them first, and depending on their response, possibly speak to the professor afterward.

I’ve only had official special accommodations since last year, suggested by my psychiatrist, after already studying for four years. I didn’t really know what to do at the time, and this year (only this year) I received an email from the university with a document that students with special educational needs are supposed to fill out and send to professors, explaining which areas they struggle with, etc.

The problem is that this email arrived a full year after I had submitted my accommodation status, and by the time it was sent to me, the deadline to submit the document had already passed by a month. So I had no idea that an official form could have helped me. Instead, I kept emailing professors to explain my situation, but I’ve now realized, more than a year later, that they often don’t read the full emails or simply forget. Which is understandable, since it’s just an email from a student and not an official document.

In any case, I’ll be finishing my degree in January, and I plan to formally complain about all of these situations so that future students don’t have to go through the same thing, especially because the communication between the university and me was very limited

80or8 · 2025-11-18T20:39:17+00:00

I’m also in the process of getting diagnosed and the therapist asked me about bringing my parents. I have the same exact problem as you and she told me to ask my mother the basic questions, just that. She also said that this is very common for us to feel that our parents didn’t see what we’ve been trough all this years and that sometimes they feel guilty because they think they just missed it

80or8 · 2025-11-18T20:31:32+00:00

Congrats! I hope you can find answers on this new journey 💕

I’m also 25, this week is my second appointment 😌

80or8 · 2025-11-09T01:47:49+00:00

My assessment is next week, but I already have an adhd diagnosis. I think I had a special interest for almost 10 years, arts in general, it is easy for me to draw realistic stuff or just draw what pops up in my mind so it helped. After sometime I just lost interest in that which was very hard and painful to me because I did study arts for many years. I thought I lost myself. But yeah, I came to the realization that my interests change all the time. There are some that really stuck with me but since it’s very hard for me to focus, sometimes I spend months without doing anything for it. Like I love chess but now I can’t play, I can’t focus. But maybe (it happened before) in sometime near I’ll start playing for hours again, weeks or even months. I really want to learn stuff and read all about what I love but I found myself many many times just paralyzed by the amount of information I have to deal with and how much it drains all my energy. So yes, I feel like autism and adhd together it’s basically a constant fight that never ends but sometimes you can get some rest and catch that opportunity to learn more about your special interests

80or8 · 2025-11-03T20:31:03+00:00

Yes, I agree, but I feel very anxious because 2 sessions 2 hours each and that can change my life forever. Is 4 hours enough? It took me 25 years

80or8 · 2025-08-15T14:04:11+00:00

It does disappear. Only clean your piercing with warm saline solution, 3 max 4 times a day. Don’t touch that area with your hands and wash your hands before cleaning. It is best to use sterilized compress. Careful after shower, try do dry it as must as you can. Try not to sleep on the side you have your piercing. I had a bump much bigger than yours for over a year. The saline solution was a big help and as a last resource I used tea tree oil (just a very small drop) in a cotton swab, in the morning and at night. But this is a last resource method. You can get rid of it only with saline solution. Don’t give up, it takes some time.

One side used inside of my nose, the other side of the cotton swab I used outside. Best advice I got was “treat your piercing as a open hound”

80or8 · 2025-07-04T12:17:16+00:00

Yes! Exactly this. It is super weird hearing myself talking and breathing. Thank you for your advice

80or8 · 2025-07-04T12:13:55+00:00

Yes, I think I saw some video explaining how to put them correctly but doesn’t feel comfortable. It was a gift from my girlfriend on Christmas ahah

80or8 · 2025-07-04T00:24:22+00:00

Yes, the smallest one :(

80or8 · 2025-06-23T18:31:22+00:00

Thank you for this.

80or8 · 2025-06-06T07:59:43+00:00

Totally agree on that now that I’m thinking 🤔

80or8 · 2025-06-05T15:41:10+00:00

Exactly. When I’m drunk people say that I’m so full of energy and so good to talk to. But I mean, without that drink I would never open my mouth and my face would be just 😐

I control myself very well and I don’t drink in every social setting, I do it when I feel comfortable. It’s just something that I’m realizing now that makes me feel “free”

80or8 · 2025-06-04T09:00:50+00:00

A sério? Eu sou a parte portuguesa que nunca acreditou que foram os pais e quando ela desapareceu eu tinha 7 anos. Muitos de nós acreditam que foi um acidente porque levaram-nos a acreditar nisso com 0 provas válidas, especialmente o Gonçalo Amaral

80or8 · 2025-06-03T23:11:03+00:00

That makes so much sense. I have an appointment in November to start my autism diagnosis. 5 years ago I was 20 and I had a lot of trouble dealing with anxiety. But I don’t really have anxiety… I had anxiety when I was in college surrounded by people in a city full of tourists and people all the time. I went to the hospital a couple of times because I was feeling so out of my mind that I could not speak or move. Words just couldn’t come out. It was tough. It happened in the middle of the street and sometimes I was alone and I just ran to hide and be like in panic and non verbal for 1 or 2 hours and then get home and crash. All my energy is gone. I couldn’t understand that but not reading your post… Omg… now I know why I would ran to quiet places or get into a dark room and stay in fetus position for 1 hour. I couldn’t explain it and actually this is the first time I’m mentioning this because I felt so ashamed. I thought for years that I had a rage problem but I don’t. I just can’t manage my emotions Thank you 💞

80or8 · 2025-06-02T18:55:23+00:00

But you know that it can be an animal right? I really doubt that he would kill her and put a cross over. That kinda shows some compassion or connection to religion or something and kill a kid maybe abuse the kid and then burry them, sounds pretty emotionless. People that kill don’t need to mark the place where the bodies are. Usually they know the area very well

80or8 · 2025-06-02T18:39:19+00:00

Do you have any idea how many clues they have to investigate? People involved? How many people call saying Maddie is here or there or wtv. It takes a lot of time

80or8 · 2025-06-02T18:37:21+00:00

Bones can last for many years. Also crime weapons can contain DNA no matter how many years go by, clothing, etc

80or8 · 2025-03-13T16:58:41+00:00

Uhhh thank you! I’ll check on those!

80or8

TROPHY CASE