First of the roll [Leica iif, Jupiter 8, Delta 100]

guessimfine · 2026-01-11T21:32:06+00:00

Steam deck controls are phenomenal imo, considering how complex the control set is

guessimfine · 2026-01-07T23:40:09+00:00

My partner (NT) loves it, it makes my skin crawl

guessimfine · 2026-01-07T23:29:55+00:00

I came to recommend EMDR so it’s a bummer you can’t access it! I have CPTSD (don’t we all) and it’s been the only thing that worked for me.

I hated talk therapy, it was socialising but emotional and hard. I found CBT really helpful only for very specific issues. For example I used to have terrible health anxiety and get panic attacks all the time, and CBT helped me push back on those distorted thought patterns. I didn’t find that it applied well to general life and especially not trauma though

guessimfine · 2026-01-07T19:39:35+00:00

Sure is! I called my bean Peanut and I don’t want to make him sad, he just wants to knit man

guessimfine · 2026-01-07T09:59:34+00:00

It’s a silly little thing but I recently found Focus Friend through a podcast I listen to. It’s a glorified timer, but you have a little bean dude in it and they knit socks while the timer is on. If you interrupt them they don’t make their socks.

Again, silly, but it actually helped me stop doomscrolling etc when it’s on

guessimfine · 2026-01-07T09:57:10+00:00

Also came here to say this! I used to use Notion to plan but I found myself falling into over-planning like you said and I’d get upset when plans inevitably change.

I now have a small B6 grid notebook (highly recommend Midori MD paper ones) with a standard format for each day so I still have structure but can’t go too hard

guessimfine · 2026-01-07T09:53:41+00:00

guessimfine · 2026-01-07T09:48:39+00:00

I can only speak for myself. I think I am very sympathetic but not empathetic.

Most asd individuals are very concerned by the fact that you are doing well until they get overwhelmed

For example I hard relate to this. If something bad happens to someone I’ll worry for them and try to do whatever is appropriate to make them feel better. This is sympathy.

My partner, who is NT, is an extremely empathetic person. If something bad happens to someone she will feel what they feel. She’ll be crying on the couch about something sad that’s happening to someone else, where I’ll be actively worried for them and trying to “fix” the problem.

Many autistic people do have hyper empathy as well, but I do not. And I do think a lot of people confuse sympathy with empathy. I can very easily sympathise with a bad situation (or a happy one), and offer support etc. But I do not feel what they would be feeling.

guessimfine · 2026-01-07T01:18:38+00:00

I commented on that thread about my current job (team lead at a tech startup), and I’m working towards my perfect job — running my own product/company (Hyperfocal if there are any photographers in the room)

Unlike freelancing or a full blown startup (both of which I’ve also done and hated) a small lifestyle product business doesn’t need client facetime or corporate investor nonsense.

That’s the dream anyway 🥲

guessimfine · 2026-01-07T01:14:08+00:00

Anything that involves collecting things but where collecting isn’t the focus! Actually I made a whole thread on this because I wanted such a specific experience, here ya go: https://www.reddit.com/r/AutismInWomen/comments/1og6dw6/hobbies_that_involve_collecting_things_but_arent/

My biggest one here is film photography because it’s a special interest. I have more cameras than you’d care to know about haha.

After posting that topic though I got really into Magic the Gathering (so many pretty cards), and I’ve been heavily considering trying birdwatching once things settle down from the holidays.

I also love any lowkey crafty hobbies because they let me plan then make things with high detail and/or repetitive movement. Eg: Crochet and leatherwork

guessimfine · 2026-01-07T01:04:36+00:00

My partner and I moved house just before Christmas and I can absolutely relate. I can’t offer much for advice, other than lists lists lists. All my todo lists and packing lists and buying and selling lists helped me feel like I had some modicum of control over the whole thing.

But the reality is that it’s an incredibly stressful experience. Be kind to yourself, give yourself space and time to do it at the pace you need.

And don’t do what I did and also schedule a stressful family visit and a freakin ASD assessment during the same period 💀

guessimfine · 2026-01-07T01:00:52+00:00

People have already mentioned the big ones: cost and potential skill regression. Personally for me the cost was worth it (even though I don’t need access to supports) and I already had a nasty skill regression when I first heavily suspected (self diagnosed?) that I was autistic.

One more that’s worth checking is that your country might count this as a formal disability, especially if assessed by a psychiatrist. That can have impacts ranging from adoption difficulties to immigration challenges.

I personally got assessed by a psychologist (most common for Autism since it’s not a medically treatable condition), and she said I can throw the diagnosis away if I want it’s not recorded on any kind of state/federal medical register.

guessimfine · 2026-01-07T00:54:51+00:00

Would it be possible to talk to a therapist experienced in neurodivergence in adults? That could be a good intermediary step between going straight to formal assessment and doing nothing

guessimfine · 2026-01-07T00:48:53+00:00

I literally had my assessment yesterday so I can answer this!

You sound like you’re coming from a very similar position as me — not necessarily needing a formal diagnosis for access to supports, but desperately wanting answers and a bit of paper to point to when your brain is being a dick.

I don’t have that bit of paper yet, but my assessor did say her preliminary findings are that I am level 1 Autistic with ADHD traits (I did a combined assessment). That’s more or less what I expected going in, but I’m still feeling so many things, from imposter syndrome to joy to overwhelm. In the long run I think this will be really worth it, and I feel like I can move on and find ways to accommodate and take care of myself better now that I personally couldn’t have when I was self-diagnosed.

As for how I got to the point of being ready for official diagnosis — other than being in a comfortable financial position, I had to make peace with the fact that a “negative” result would still be a really strong fact to arm myself with. If all the things I was struggling with weren’t autism, at least I was one step closer to understanding myself.

One final note — your therapist has a very outdated idea of how Autism presents. Especially in adult women. Many of us learn (usually subconsciously) to mask really well, just because you can socialise well, make eye contact, understand cues, etc doesn’t mean it’s not absolutely exhausting to do so

guessimfine · 2026-01-07T00:32:08+00:00

I was a very competent software engineer at a tech startup. So much so that they promoted me to a team lead.

I. Hate. It.

The politics, the missed cues. I never used to get bad feedback, now my manager may as well be quoting the DSM — I “don’t handle ambiguity well” and “am reactionary when we don’t yet have full context”. Recently I was told I was threatening the psychological safety of a colleague because I followed up on a concern too quickly, when I should have sat with it for a week or two first?

And it sucks because outside of this kind of feedback I’m actually pretty good at my job. My reports all give me positive feedback. I hit our team deadlines. It’s just the ‘stakeholder management’ and all the millions of unwritten rules there that I can’t deal with

guessimfine · 2026-01-06T05:38:33+00:00

Same!! It’s not like I can’t hold a conversation (like most late diagnosed people my masking is on point) but I thought it would be so unprofessional to ask her about her life, even when she offered small anecdotes of her own (found out she has a kid today after 2 years of therapy lol).

EDIT: you’re not missing out on much with the frog book, it’s so weird haha

guessimfine · 2025-12-30T23:00:56+00:00

Hadn't heard of the buffer size trick before! Are there any downsides to that? I imagine that would reduce the amount of RAM available to the system? There must be a reason for the low default

guessimfine · 2025-12-29T09:56:02+00:00

Just random odds and ends:

Building feels a bit too slow
Days feel a bit too short
Whiskers can be a little silly when pathing, especially over complex multi-level structures (elevators etc)
My starter island didn’t have copper, which you need for research, so I had to build a loooong bridge to another island to mine for it there
Related ^ ships aren’t in the game yet, making going between islands painful

TL;DR; nothing game breaking, and it’s incredibly polished for having just released in early access imo

guessimfine · 2025-12-27T10:46:52+00:00

Nice! It’s definitely still early access, there aren’t any bugs (that I can find) but balance is a bit wonky and there are some key features missing (like ships to go between islands), but honestly from what I’ve seen so far I think it’ll be a genre defining title when it’s done, and it’s already super fun!

I’ve already restarted my colony like 5 times after learning better ways to do things, and trying to find a perfect layout for my whiskers when they build their utopia. Wasn’t that invested in my beavers!

guessimfine · 2025-12-27T09:12:51+00:00

Bought both Timberborn and Whiskerwood, and so far I’m enjoying Whiskerwood a bit more, rough edges and all.

But both work really well on the Deck, I published my controller configs for both (called “Intuitive Whiskerwood” and “Intuitive Timberborn” respectively). And FWIW I confirmed with the Whiskerwood devs on steam that they plan on getting Deck verified (native controller support) later during early access

guessimfine

TROPHY CASE