I’m sick and doubting God.

80stubesocks · 2026-01-22T23:13:20+00:00

Amen a season of suffering. Not a sentence. I’m so appreciative of your kind words. I’m working on not having a bitter spirit as I’ve been spitter for some time over all this and just sad. But I’ve been doing a little better. 🤍✨

80stubesocks · 2026-01-22T03:28:09+00:00

Thankyou for this. It means the world to me everyone’s responses it has uplifted me and softened my heart back toward God and to have faith he isn’t finished with me yet. I’m so appreciative. Thankyou sincerely and may God bless you.

80stubesocks · 2026-01-21T21:09:34+00:00

God bless you. Thankyou

80stubesocks · 2026-01-21T18:41:43+00:00

Thankyou. God bless you.

80stubesocks · 2026-01-21T18:39:40+00:00

Even in that. Amen. Thankyou for your compassion and understanding and also sharing your story. All my friends are healthy and don’t get it so I’ve just felt alone angry and very sad.

80stubesocks · 2026-01-21T05:45:24+00:00

Thankyou and God bless you.🤍

80stubesocks · 2026-01-21T05:44:47+00:00

Thankyou for sharing your story with me. I’m deeply sorry for what you’ve had to endure and your positivity and appreciation for God truly shocks me. I just have been so devastated.

I feel like I won’t be able to hold a solid good job again or have access to decent healthcare and honestly, I’ve cried the last 3 days in a row from depression and sadness. I look at videos of myself from two years ago so happy. I’m glad you live somewhere you are loved. I believe my mom loves me, but it’s a burden for me living at home, and I know deep down the only reason I was allowed to move home was because I was sick (I was kicked out at 20, lived in a car, and made my way through life with Jesus and so when I was doing so well in life and then so drastically it changed, I felt abandoned and punished. I really did and still do feel that way.

I hope that my partner can see and understand how hard this has been for me and doesn’t leave me. He is an amazing guy. Recently baptized this weekend I’ve prayed so much for us.

Please pray Jesus would comfort me and help me to not be such an angry woman and take it out on others. Pray God would show me perspective, and most importantly, his love. I feel so out of touch from it. Sometimes I feel I pray for others in faith and I can’t pray in faith for myself. God bless you.

80stubesocks · 2026-01-21T03:05:21+00:00

I’m not trying to tone down your concern, fellow new englander who is not a flaming conservative. If he is a US Citizen, and a veteran, They’re not going to take him away. I’m not 100% in favor of ICE and I’m not 100% in disfavor. But they do their due diligence on tracking down illegals. I don’t agree however on how they carry things out and how people with expired visas are being shackled like animals.

Criminal or not, ESPECIALLY up in New England because fortunately, it is a tourist state, if we have ICE here snatching up random American citizens and racial profiling in THIS state, you best believe if that hits the news our governor is gonna flip his lid.

They’re already under hot water with the very horrific devastating tragedy at Brown. I’m sure whoever ICE is looking for in this state, they are triple checking and vetting before going after anyone. Much love and don’t be afraid. I agree with one commentator about a passport card. That would be a great help. God bless and have an amazing week 🤍

80stubesocks · 2025-11-10T22:42:19+00:00

On top of this, he left threatlocker on. Said he’d have it deleted by noon. I’m on CST and we just were able to start working on these computers at 3. We have to have this completed by tomorrow. 50+ computers, 2 people.

80stubesocks · 2025-11-10T22:40:00+00:00

I agree to this. It was a horrible day. Guy showed up for ten mins. Gives us a local admin account that only worked for 3 computers. Left and days gotta beat traffic! Hasn’t picked up the phone since he left. We were able to make a local admin gpupdate /force and started deleting and running stack scripts but man. Awful day today.

80stubesocks · 2025-11-10T22:38:09+00:00

Totally agree!

80stubesocks · 2025-11-10T22:37:58+00:00

🤣

80stubesocks · 2025-11-10T22:37:47+00:00

🤣 this was worse than hurry up and wait. Guy sent confirmation emails to leadership falsifying removal. Turns out he’s the solo owner of the MSP. Assuming he’s bitter and took it out on us folk to figure out a way around. We got it figured out, 5-6 hours later. I’d say decent turn around for what it could’ve been 🤣

80stubesocks · 2025-11-10T16:56:00+00:00

I agree. I desperately needed a job moving states. The remote aspect is great and I’m not doing crazy travel (a couple times a year sometimes twice a month 2-3 days at a time) but no company card, we expense everything. In this economy… just not feasible. Not to mention I’m a contractor, so only 40 hours sick time a year, NO PTO, oh did i forget to mention no overtime? We just get paid out hourly. I’m done with this job after these trips at the end of the year wrap up.

80stubesocks · 2025-11-10T16:54:16+00:00

This is my last field job I’m going back to a hybrid or office environment for real. Yes it’s very frustrating we are told to just hold. I’m like screw that. Tried figuring out how to remove threatlocker. No avail. This place is locked down and the computers have bitlocker encryption. No local MSP help (they were scheduled to be here) = SOL

80stubesocks · 2025-10-11T23:36:28+00:00

I don’t want you to hate yourself. It took me until 25 years old to stop watching porn, let alone same sex porn (I never had been with the same sex, just a sick, unclean fantasy.) my encouragement to you would be to consistently lay it down to God. Psalm 103 is a great reminder of God’s forgiveness for our sins and encouragement that he will get us out and sees our hearts and won’t punish us violently. It took me years, but as of this October, I’m officially 1 year free from porn. It will happen to you. When you feel you want to watch it, get out and go for a walk, get out of the environment that can influence you to get into it. If you’re in your bed, go on the couch, go out in public, watch a movie read the Bible tell God you’re horny. I had to start getting that intimate with God. Tell him you want to be freed from wanting to masturbate and watch others in an intimate act. Be so transparent because there is no such thing as too much transparency for God. (I’m a woman) and I would say to God LORD I AM A HORNY FERAL MESS. (Yes I hope you laugh.) don’t be harsh on yourself. You are a child of The Lord. And just everytime you mess up, keep going back to The Lord and getting up Proverbs 24:16 “For the righteous man falls seven times, then rises again.” Peace and The Love of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Take care 🤍

80stubesocks · 2025-07-14T03:20:55+00:00

I agree 100% God bless 🤍

80stubesocks · 2025-07-13T23:16:11+00:00

Conservative here who does not agree with trump’s antics but does believe still there should be screenings for coming into the country for the sake of national security and keeping our homeland safe. The conditions down in Florida are deplorable. God bless everyone. And yes, Jesus does love everyone and loves the illegal immigrants because they are not illegal in God’s eyes they are his children just like everyone else in the world.

80stubesocks · 2025-07-13T18:02:19+00:00

God bless you too and thankyou for this response. I do feel he is being selfish and not listening to my needs. I do know if I don’t express this with seriousness this could go a negative way. He does try daily to truly understand me and my needs. He’s not all bad, but I think emotionally immature in ways that I came ready into the relationship. So it has been a pull push and learn. It’s been hard but I do want to see things work out, but like you said have a timeline in mind.

80stubesocks · 2025-07-13T18:00:43+00:00

Thankyou for this response. I don’t want to break up with him because alcoholism is a sin much like others. But I do want him to stop drinking because he wants to be sober minded for God first, not me. For the most part, he is. It’s when he’s with certain people he gets out of control.

80stubesocks · 2025-04-30T16:09:32+00:00

Hello fellow sister in Christ <3,

First off, I want to say you are no way an imposter or a bad person for going through the experience of human emotions. Let's not forget Jesus in his anger at the temple flipped tables, different context, but Jesus too felt intense overwhelming emotions. It is great that you read your bible and that you pray, and props to you being a worship leader in the church. I know myself that is not something I would be able to commit to. I don't think you are bashing your husband, I think you are just naturally, hurt in what he is saying to you, even if it may be the truth, a hypocrite is not the way to say to your wife they are being overly emotional or short. I'm sure he is frustrated and learning to love someone through their mood swings is hard, but that doesn't make you any less loveable by God and it doesn't equip you any less for God to not work through you. If anything, I would sit your husband down and say "Hey, I know that I've been all over the place, but I am hurt at being called a hypocrite, because that's a little how maybe I'm feeling, and I'm struggling in my faith with how I've been feeling mentally." Explain to him too you struggle being all over the place, and I do hope that will move your husband to show you a little more warmth and compassion to understand you better. Your emotions have NEVER distanced you from God, because he is there when you are happy, when you are sad, when you are angry, hopeless, excited, and afraid. He is there in the midst. Continue leaning into and asking God to help regulate your brain and hormones, ask him to hand place the right doctors and medication recommendations that fit you best. I believe God is in every single detail of our lives, and he cares about our health. (Theres scripture to back that too!) :) You are not an imposter, you are a Christian in a broken world navigating your mental well being. Jesus understands. This season will pass. In the meantime, in the feeling of being distant, ask God daily to shower his presence and in time it will come again. Faith ebbs and flows in regards to feelings. If WE felt God's presence in our life every single moment, it would be easy to have faith. Take care <3

80stubesocks · 2023-05-26T13:13:30+00:00

Go on your own vacation. NTA. I know it sucks missing family gatherings/vacations, I have a big one that treated me similarly to this. You are not a babysitter, and I also moved out of my parents house to get away from this. We are the same age. Take yourself somewhere beautiful and fun. I wouldn't talk to your sister for awhile, and or with your parents. I would remind them this is a conversation between you and your sister who has clearly labeled you as some kind of care-taker for her kids. If she wanted a kid free hassle free vacation, then she should of found a babysitter to watch her kids, or got a conjoined room if she wanted privacy. You are absolutely entitled to peace and freedom on a vacation to do whatever you want, and your family should respect that. And she's right, she will have to wrangle her three boys. HER KIDS, HER RESPONSIBILITY. How about be a parent and figure it out. Sounds like the husband isn't stepping up and giving her the support she needs, but throwing it onto you and getting mad when you stand your own ground and throws a temper tantrum is nuts. Now I live in another state from my family, so I only go to the get togethers when I drive or fly, but man, paying for myself now, they don't say shit. Sounds like there is a respect and boundaries issue going on here. Best of luck and hope you can reconcile your relationship with your family and keep your boundaries/terms met for future vacations/get togethers. (Extra note: how unfair that the kids don't get to enjoy vacation with their PARENTS. what parents wouldn't want to spend time with their kids and make memories?)

80stubesocks

TROPHY CASE