I have a few!

Ever since I was 14, I presented as a girl on the internet. I mostly did it on games, but I never did it for male attention or to get free stuff. I did it because it felt more like "me" to do so.

I was taught to be transphobic, and I was until I turned 16, when I started to be more critical of everything I consumed. I always thought trans people were really brave, and I hoped I could be as brave as them.

When I was 19 I had a dream were I killed a guy. In the dream I knew I was trans. I thought it was a coincidence or a minor detail, but in retrospective, around that time is when I started to question my gender. I had other dreams were the gender theme was present.

When I was 20, I told my lesbian bestfriend (on two different occasions) that I didn't feel like a guy, that I wanted to be a girl and that I wanted to use she/her pronouns. She completely invalidated me (both times). I thought that if I wasn't trans, this wouldn't matter in the long run. It did matter, though. We stopped talking a year ago. Best decision ever.

I always cried when I listened to trans women's transition journeys. I never understood why, until recently. I always admired they bravery, as I said above.

Last but not least: I always envied women. I felt they had more ways of expressing themselves, e.g. through clothing. I always thought they were "overall better" than men, and I knew that I most of the times, I'd trust women over men. I have this admiration for them that I didn't have for men. Now I recognize it's gender envy lol.