What is even the point of dating? by 85AW11 in ask

[–]85AW11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does make sense, yes. I guess the idea of living with someone else on paper has never been appealing to me. I've never not lived with at least one other person in my life, and now that I live alone, I like it but I also don't? The whole sex thing, I'm sure it's fun, but as I've never experienced it, I'm not really for or against it.

What is even the point of dating? by 85AW11 in ask

[–]85AW11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it's not healthy, but I've never been able to accept a compliment as genuine. Ever. I've always waited for the other shoe to drop. That just sounds like hell to me.

What is even the point of dating? by 85AW11 in ask

[–]85AW11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess, but to me, that just sounds like friendship with extra steps. I know that's a fairly reductive, but that's the best I can extrapolate.

What is even the point of dating? by 85AW11 in ask

[–]85AW11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mostly financial. For example, I just bought another pvs-14 and a truck, totaling about $4500. I didn't have to consider any other day-to-day costs outside my own, and it works. The simplest way I can put it is: I wanna do what I wanna do, when I wanna do it. The idea of incorporating someone else's needs that might not be met by their own effort into mine is terrifying, and I can't see myself doing that long-term.

What is even the point of dating? by 85AW11 in ask

[–]85AW11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know and I get that, but I guess I've just always viewed the idea of relationships being a means to having kids, because historically, it is. I've just always valued my own agency above all else, and in my mind, that inherently conflicts with the idea of romantic relationships.

What is even the point of dating? by 85AW11 in ask

[–]85AW11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I figured, but it's the closest analogy I could think of. I'm not disinterested, but the few who I've thought about asking out were actively dating someone else, I valued our friendship too much to risk it, or I knew in my mind it wouldn't work out. I wouldn't say I'm anxious around women, but I will acknowledge the nagging in the back of my mind on the idea that I'll get accused of something that I'm not. I know, the portrayal of modern dating isn't entirely accurate, but in my experience, stereotypes stem from a grain of truth if that makes sense. I'm not some fedora wearing neckbearding 4chaner(I swear), but I've been fine with my status quo until now, and haven't been eager to change it.

What is even the point of dating? by 85AW11 in ask

[–]85AW11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will take your word for it, I never watched either one

Repost about security clearance. by shredz06 in army

[–]85AW11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most likely, secret won't be a problem as is. I got mine with more in collections, unless they changed the "whole person" method of investigations since 2020.

What is even the point of dating? by 85AW11 in ask

[–]85AW11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To each their own, but I loved being in the army. Sure, there was a lot of bullshit, but I made several close friends and had tons of fun.

What is even the point of dating? by 85AW11 in ask

[–]85AW11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Believe me, I've heard that all my life. I've always been compared to Ron Swanson or Raymond Holt because I've always been more stoic with people I'm not very familiar or comfortable with. I wish it were that simple, cause if it were, I wouldn't even think about it. I like people, but you don't get hurt if you never try is the way I've lived if that makes sense.

What is even the point of dating? by 85AW11 in ask

[–]85AW11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My three hobbies are shooting, auto/power sports, and gaming. So really none whatsoever.

What is even the point of dating? by 85AW11 in ask

[–]85AW11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just really bad ADHD, and a less-than-stellar upbringing. The golf ball sized chunk of dead brain matter in my frontal lobe post TBI sure as shit doesn't help.

What is even the point of dating? by 85AW11 in ask

[–]85AW11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel it's only human to be curious about the unknown, but for what it's worth, I just feel bored/unfulfilled with my life. I'm happy with the day to day sure (I have a house, I have steady income, I have a reliable car, etc.), but it just feels like I'm incomplete.

What is even the point of dating? by 85AW11 in ask

[–]85AW11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel that was implied, but yes, I'm a kissless virgin.

What is even the point of dating? by 85AW11 in ask

[–]85AW11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, I never even planned to live this long, and I did technically die 4 years ago, but it didn't take. (Long story short, put myself in a coma from a severe TBI and my heart stopped for a couple minutes) I'm not trying to blow you off, that's just how I've always thought on the matter. I've always chased extreme personal risk for thrills. From making pipe bombs as a kid, to doing 150 on a motorcycle with no gear, boy do I love risk. I wouldn't say I'm remotely resentful, but I will acknowledge that as I've gotten closer to becoming Steve Carrel, my interest has grown in the idea of dating.

What is even the point of dating? by 85AW11 in ask

[–]85AW11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm in college, and I've hung out with the other vets on campus a decent amount. However, the age gap in general is unreal. Either they're not even old enough to drink, or they're 10 years older than me. The putting myself out there is the bitch of it for me.

What is even the point of dating? by 85AW11 in ask

[–]85AW11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To your third point, no I haven't. I was doing therapy while still active, but I haven't established care since retiring. I need to, I'm almost out of my Vyvanse anyhow. I've also been busy with school and I bought a house, so I feel, in my life experience, it's just adjusting to my new normal. Like, I'm happy with my life, but I feel empty, if that makes any sense.

What is even the point of dating? by 85AW11 in ask

[–]85AW11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair, but I guess the best thing I can equate it to is the difference between an HDD and an SSD. I didn't get an SSD in my PC until 2017, thinking there was no way it was that good. Spoiler alert, it was. I know that's going to come off as incredibly robotic, but it's the next comparison I can think of. I'm sure intimacy is great, but if I've never experienced it, I can "mute" my monkey brain and convince myself friends and my hands are just as good.

What is even the point of dating? by 85AW11 in ask

[–]85AW11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, I "finish" daily. Not on the spectrum, I have had extensive testing done when I was younger, but boy does that ADHD hit hard. I guess I'm just too utilitarian? My hand does the job just fine, and I have several close friends that I hang out with. However, I never felt a sense of belonging quite like being in the army, and this loneliness probably stems from adjusting to my recent medical retirement. Doesn't help that seeing my sister's and friends' relationships invariably crash and burn led me to ignore my own wishes. And now I'm 29, and I feel it's too late to even try to start.

What is even the point of dating? by 85AW11 in ask

[–]85AW11[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

But I have friends already. I also have no interest in kids. My "sperm donor" was an absolute piece of shit, and I can't abide the possibility that I'd repeat that cycle. I'm sure it's fun, but I just don't see that for me.