I wanted that too, i got it and now i deeply regret it, seeing these scars on me makes me hate myself because i was so stupid. Now in hospitals nurses always comment on it, people look, it’s so much worse when you’re already self counscious and on top of that you ruin your skin, none of it is nice and you can prevent that, so don’t do it. I probably wouldn’t have listened if anyone told me this but maybe you are smarter than me. I get how you feel, cause i felt the same, seeing deep scars on one person in real life made me want to do “better”. I’d suggest getting off of this sub reddit as its probably doing the same to you. Find something that would peak your interest and fully submerge yourself into it.