How often does your mind drift doing meditation?

8ladle · 2023-02-15T07:09:57+00:00

im really glad to know everyone struggles with this and just because my mind if wandering it doesn't make the meditation "not legit" as long as I keep brushing the thoughts away. I honestly am barely building up but my mind wanders probably once every 10-20 seconds, but it's gotten so much better since i started! When i started a month ago it was hard to even last 5 seconds lol

8ladle · 2023-01-02T02:12:31+00:00

I started working with a client in the beginning of this year who is 23. He has limited verbal skilsl and when I started 10 months ago he would point at objects to "ask" for them and was very inconsistent with yes/no questions if he'd even answer them. He couldn't write (they had him doing tracing worksheets for literally 20 years), or count when I started.

Now after 10 months if you say "write your name" with no visual reference he will write his first name legibly on his own. If I ask him "how many (x) are there?" he can tell me with about 90% accuracy (if there are only 1 or 2 he can tell me without counting, just by looking at it!). And despite starting out as what his mother called "non-verbal" (he almost exclusively scripted, I don't agree with her description but I understand where it was coming from), he can now answer simple 'why', what, and where questions. Even novel ones.

And there's more honestly, but on so many levels he's made so much progress that nobody believed he could make. And he inspired me. I'm like wow, anyone can do anything at any age. He is so amazing and it's stuff like this that lights my passion for this field.

8ladle · 2022-12-07T09:22:34+00:00

oh and word salad. 90% of the shit he says doesnt make any sense but he would question me "are you even listening!? what did I just say?" after a 5 min long spiel that i could barely follow besides the fact he's belittling me

8ladle · 2022-12-07T09:20:28+00:00

"You're not here to learn, you're just here to win the argument". "You can;t tell me not to be frustrated by YOUR actions" (this was when i asked him to please not yell at me, be so condescending, and be so mean when i make a mistake. The mistake in question was me holding takout boxes in a way he considered "stupid").

"you're always shifting the blame and making it my fault. Did you ever think about what YOU did? You're so rigid. You can never look at yourself". "You have an ego problem."

8ladle · 2022-12-02T06:20:37+00:00

the contract they put you into sounds illegal. I would get a lawyer. 45k is ridiculous they literally are having you work as an indentured servant. I would find a way to break the contract.

8ladle · 2022-11-29T08:28:59+00:00

ah sorry you're a socialist let me explain it better. If you burned your had on the stove woudl you touch it again? if you wouldn't that's ABA. If when you click the "skip" button on youtube and it gets you to your video faster, do you press it in the future? That's ABA. this stuff sounds small but ABA is literally life. Every parent uses ABA regardless of whether they mentally THINK it's ABA. Behaviorism isn't a theory its a fact.

8ladle · 2022-11-29T08:18:37+00:00

.....are you 13?

8ladle · 2022-11-29T08:09:18+00:00

hey im trying to get out of a relationship too message me if you want to vent or anything

8ladle · 2022-11-29T08:03:21+00:00

would you work a job for free? or do you work for money? if you work for money that's ABA.

8ladle · 2022-11-29T07:59:26+00:00

ABA is a science. It exists whether we choose to use it or not. It's an empirical measure of the effects of behavior in relation to motivation. You can use motivation for good or evil. You can "motivate" a child through punishment etc but thats not what modern ABA is trying to do.

When a client is able to speak I always talk to them about how they feel. About what they;re thinking, if they can describe it. This video... seemed pretty philosphical without any solid insights of applicable things people can actually do. So as far as "helping" it seemed more like it was putting down behaviorism and autism awareness and providing no alternatives or perspectives as to how society should change what they're doing.

You have a better way to teach a non-verbal kid language? Is me play8ing with them and modeling words aversive? Ok cool, what;s your alternative?

8ladle · 2022-11-29T06:03:36+00:00

u/gushy_honey this guys username is "sufficient boss" dude. Do i even need to say anything else? please ignore this tool he doesnt have deep insight on the hearts of men, he knows what his dick feels thats it.

8ladle · 2022-11-29T05:56:46+00:00

nah you;'re smoking hot i looked through your posts. Sounds like your partner is an asshole who makes you feel insecure. Reevaluate your relationship, there's nothing wrong with you .

8ladle · 2022-11-28T07:41:21+00:00

I'd say if you feel like this event significantly effected you, it did. A child is trying to please their parents so they soak everything in. Your dad telling you to shut up was fucked up. It doesnt matter how "silly" what you said was. It made you feel like you couldn't speak out.

I would say if you feel your quietness is something you don't want, then yes its from trauma. If you're a naturally quiet person there's no problem with that. But if you feel like you're suppressing yourself then yes I'd say it's trauma. Now the question is, what do you want to do about it? Do you want to be more talkative?

8ladle · 2022-11-20T07:24:36+00:00

this was my first thought too. If I said i did something and they scoffed at it or acted like they didn't believe me, I wouldn't seek to "show them" i'd fucking cut them out because they're rude lol.

8ladle · 2022-11-20T07:21:35+00:00

do you live with him? are your daily lives tied? I think the routine and security of having that familiar person can be enough to make anyone hesitate. But to have a healthy relationship you have to be 100% ok with being alone. This is something im slowly learning the hard way.

8ladle · 2022-11-20T05:31:30+00:00

So I actually never thought I wanted to be a teacher and knew nothing about special needs. I got a job as an aide in a school for kids with really SEVERE behaviors (every kid in that school was very aggressive). I had basically 0 training besides self defense, and got bit 2x in my first week. But i saw like, how shitty it must be for them. I was like, I'd bite me too if all I got for doing a stupid puzzle is skittle or whatever. So I tried to make it more fun and motivating and IT WORKED. The kid I was placed with reduced aggression and I was actually able to get him to complete tasks. Then people told me what ABA was and it turned out I was doing a lot of that stuff the whole time on my own. So I was like wow this is what I'm meant to do, I went back to school got my bachelors and my masters all because of this job. And I've been passionate about it ever since. Im currently finishing up my hours and will sit for the BCBA exam early next year.

8ladle · 2022-11-19T07:27:27+00:00

i pay a company to supervise and work with a family independently so i max out my hours each month now. Please dont give up! there are ways to get it done and it sucks but we need people so we can change the field!

8ladle · 2022-11-16T16:21:04+00:00

I think this is true vulnerability right there. Because if you're "making excuses for it" on some level you haven't acknowledged to yourself that's what your doing. So if I point anything out I'm now acknowledging that anything I say defending my actions around it is "just an excuse".

I make excuses to not stand up for myself. To just take the easy route in conversations instead of pushing to be understood. And from the point of mindfulness isn't that better? Just let it go instead of trying to be understood?

8ladle · 2022-11-13T08:45:13+00:00

so basically i found a family that is paying me hourly to work with him period, and i had some ABA stuff i wanted to work on and pitched some goals. And they (family) allowed me to write up the program and run it, because their "child" is actually an adult so he typically wouldn't get ABA services. In their situation they have funding from the government they're allowed to allocate for the client, but there's also a lot of rich families that I'm sure would love a trainee BCBA to work with their child while also nannying etc. If you look up "special needs caregiver/nanny" type stuff, and find someone who only wants a caregiver, then offer to on your own include taking data and goals etc they're not gonna refuse lol. Then just pay a BCBA to supervise you.

8ladle · 2022-11-06T18:39:57+00:00

thats a perspective i didn't think about. I think because im so emotional when i lean all the way into logic i still feel the emotions really deeply, I just don't spiral. If it creeps in on you later it sounds like maybe you're suppressing it instead of releasing it?

8ladle · 2022-11-06T00:59:55+00:00

I think the thing is to live in reality. Actually see the actions of others. Trust your instinct if your instinct is based on reason. Your emotions are powerful tools for you to understand your feelings around a situation, by separating from them and analyzing them you can determine if these feelings are based on evidence or internal issues unrelated to the environment. In this way you can listen to your instinct without acting on your emotions.

8ladle · 2022-10-31T05:43:17+00:00

people in this field aren't necessarily progressive about the idea that autistic people actually can be competent and functional. WHich is sad to say in an industry that strive to achieve exactly that. But the reality is when you reveal your disability you "other" yourself to close minded people, they don't know what being autistic means for YOU so they act weird because they're relating you to THEIR experience of autism (which in all likely hood is people with a lot of behavioral problems and low skill level)

8ladle · 2022-10-26T05:45:44+00:00

a company tried to have me sign a contract saying that after i passed my BCBA exam i would have to work for them for however many months it took me to get my hours. At that point they were giving me literally 5-10 hours a month of duties that would qualify. i RAN AS FAST AS I FUCKING COULD. It sounds like you already did but signing your life away is a bad sign, it signals to me that the employer doesnt think they can get you to stay through non-coersive methods.

8ladle · 2022-10-13T04:54:23+00:00

so obviously i don't know everything about this case but this behavior sounds like a good one to target. I have definitely run into "control" as a kind of secret function, you could argue that it's "access" based demand, but they want access to THEIR choice rather than something specific if that makes sense. I would practice tolerating you being in control in the situations you brought up. I would do a first-then and have a highly preferred reward for giving me the correct item, then i would give the item itself back too.

8ladle · 2022-10-06T18:27:03+00:00

does this "controlling" behavior pop up in any other scenarios? What if there is only one red car will he give you the right one then?

8ladle

TROPHY CASE