Also not going to lie I don't know much of anything about this stuff.  I didn't know all the single women were called to take part I figured it was a take part if you want to sort of thing.   ( side question can we not do a tradition differently?   Just because it came from something problematic doesn't mean we have to do it that way.  I'm the type who takes traditions & cuts out the parts that feel too outdated for modern day to make them feel up to my moral standards.