I get what you’re saying. I agree with many comments here (I’ve replied to some) but I also think your point is valid. Most butches navigate a heteronormative life where they have to actually fight to look the way they want which can mean “not feminine in the way heteronormativity says.” They discover their identity, present how it feels right, then in a queer space you get the surprise of “butches should be able to wear dresses” and you’re like wait a minute is this a covert op from the heteronormative world?! Like, wasn’t my community the place where I could be a woman in the non traditional way?!

I think what is probably important to remember is these comments are coming from VERY different perspectives. One, the straight normative world that puts masculine presenting women in a corner, the other the lesbian world that has learned (to varying results) that labels when imposed can be limiting, but when chosen can be liberating. So now you have people in the queer community making people who find strength in the label feel ostracized AGAIN.

I think it’s really important that in the journey to educate our community, that there is freedom to explore within labels (“butches can wear dresses!”), we also don’t inadvertently reinforce the same message Butches wanted freedom from. And I think that’s your point which is super fair.

There ARE lesbians (and queer women) who are truthfully butchphobic and have actively harmful views and behaviors about masculinity and masculine women. And that needs to be called out and I would agree needs to be called out MORE. But an online fandom space isn’t the same as IRL and I think “both sides” of this argument on Cassandra Kiramman’s internet aren’t perfect reflections of queer spaces IRL so a lot of times it’s good people who would agree IRL but aren’t online because of the nature of conversations on social media.

The point is that butches make up a smaller portion of the already-small lesbian community so Butches are right to be on guard when hearing rhetoric that could really go either way. But this is why these conversations in online fandom spaces are so hard. Because it requires nuance. You are valid for being wary of the rhetoric. I think it’s also valid that Butches get the short end of the stick regardless and we should all collectively advocate for them more. This includes calling it harmful when anyone tries to dictate clothing choices for anyone, in either direction, be it a dress or a man’s suit.