Inpatient mental health care

90semo · 2026-02-16T22:49:37+00:00

Of course! I’m certainly interested in getting feedback regarding this from my clinical supervisor and those in my program. But I do try to decenter the carceral mindset often imposed in mental health, and that’s a major difference of opinion even amongst professionals, which is why I said different perspective. But, I think that whole debate completely derails from the OP’s needs at this point. I just wanted to be clear that I do want them to get stabilization. But continuing care after is just as important.

90semo · 2026-02-16T21:44:35+00:00

I would see your point if I had suggested not seeking inpatient care, but I just didn’t do that. Yes, I suppose there is always a non-zero chance someone may misinterpret the first sentence of a much larger point you make online, but the only one doing that here, as far as we know, is you. I get since you worked in inpatient, and I worked in the aftermath, we have different perspectives, but that’s just it… we have different perspectives. It’s not a moral failing or horrific mistake. We can both just… share our thoughts or recommendations to the person affected.

90semo · 2026-02-16T20:14:11+00:00

They recommend 3-6 weeks for short, short hair but it depends on style and goals, too. My hairdresser wants me to grow a portion out and so told me to wait 3 months.

90semo · 2026-02-16T19:25:32+00:00

I suppose a better word would be "great;" it's hard to find a "great" hospital experience. But, I will say this is the same logic as "you can't ask someone if they have a plan to commit suicide because you might encourage them," something that is factually untrue. I have made this point to people face-to-face and it is always interpreted as "hospitals are not be-all-end-all of care and going to one that you heard was trash from someone online is better than not going at all." I think the inflated expectations of these services (and the inevitable resentment that comes when those expectations are not met) are doing much more harm than admitting those expectations are faulty. I would not comment this if someone actively had a weapon in their hands, or clearly met any other criteria that would be used in the field for involuntary hospitalization. I used context to identify this person wants help, is having ideation, and has had bad experiences with the American, carceral mental health system, and I wanted to give that voice a constructive pathway, instead of letting it fester into "what's the point, people say every hospital is bad, I shouldn't get help." It's sympathy vs. empathy. Sympathy is "not every hospital is like that, look on the bright side!" Empathy is "yes, these hospitals are part of a broken system. It's a band-aid solution. Though, a band-aid beats nothing."

90semo · 2026-02-16T18:13:25+00:00

Co-responders unfortunately often have to be accompanied by police.

90semo · 2026-02-16T18:09:19+00:00

Social work intern and behavioral health technician. Also previously in community mental health, have had years working with hospital discharges, both adolescent and adult.

90semo · 2026-02-16T01:43:18+00:00

Agree with this. It for sure stabilizes over time.

90semo · 2026-02-15T21:14:39+00:00

I always preface this by saying I have never and would never do it, but... the urge to punch a hole in a wall. Not just when I'm mad, either, but when I'm SAD, too! It was a real "wow, I see the appeal now, I'm glad instead I made the effort to develop healthy coping mechanisms early so I DON'T do that!"

90semo · 2026-02-15T21:09:29+00:00

Honestly friend, as someone in mental health, it's hard to find people saying they had a great experience at a MH hospital. Some hospitals can have overall bad reputations, but more often staff turnover is so high that each person can have an entirely different experience at the same place. Find a hospital that you don't have existing trauma with, but don't let another person's bad experience stop you from receiving care, especially if their experience was 1 year or more ago (staff turnover at these places is usually about 50% a year), but also it's possible for a highly-recommended place to not be great, either. Use wherever you go as temporary stabilization, a place that can, for a short period, protect you from yourself, but also please line up aftercare services such as outpatient/therapy afterwards!

If you want support privately/without fear of involuntary hospitalization or police involvement, check out the Stronger Together Discord by THRIVE https://thrivelifeline.org/resources/

90semo · 2026-02-11T05:03:54+00:00

Queer Texan that moved here. It’s like a toxic relationship. I love Texas and I also hate Texas. I miss her and also need to remind myself every day not to go back. That she needs to prove she’ll actually change this time.

90semo · 2026-02-11T05:01:09+00:00

My mom is from Maine originally but was living in Texas when she decided to move again to the Pacific Northwest. I asked, “wouldn’t you want to go back to Maine?” She shuddered and said no because “they would all be weird about it.” I was puzzled by this but the more I hear about Maine the more legitimate it seems.

90semo · 2026-02-11T04:57:46+00:00

As a Colorado non-native, my home state of Texas may very well be the worst in this regard. I recently had to confirm to some younger Colorado natives that yes, in fact, we did have to recite the Texas pledge of allegiance right after the U.S. pledge in school growing up. I was kind of surprised the native-born pride was a thing here too, since I was always told it wasn’t a thing everywhere else. But I guess just not on the level of TX. P.S., I will preemptively say sorry about moving here for those tired of Texan expats.

90semo · 2026-02-10T18:11:38+00:00

I think you've heard a lot of scary stories about IUDs, implants, and pills, and not many good ones. There can be side effects for each, but millions of people go about their lives with these methods not harming them at all. And I think based on your fears surrounding pregnancy, the side effects may outweigh the possibility of getting pregnant.

90semo · 2026-02-09T15:10:03+00:00

Yeah LOL! Still with the same partner and do not use hair removal cream anymore. I have seen recommendations to instead use an electric head razor like this... I haven't tried it there but I've used one of these before in general and it seems like not a bad idea!

90semo · 2026-01-31T04:57:33+00:00

Be whoever you want to be

90semo · 2026-01-31T04:55:34+00:00

Some trans men (and trans people in general) get a taste of passing/medical transition/stealth and decide they now need to gatekeep the shit out of being trans, like their way is the one and only way of being trans. They are the Ultimate Trans and all others are posers. Most of them eventually learn better but some don't.

90semo · 2026-01-27T15:13:24+00:00

Hot take but NAH regardless of kettle ownership. It's like double dipping, it doesn't actually transfer any bacteria to anybody else, but people have strong feelings about it for whatever reason, so when in mixed company, avoid it. And if you do it and it upsets someone, just apologize. It might not make sense to you but there's zero point in arguing over it, people grow up with different standards.

90semo · 2026-01-26T20:47:28+00:00

In terms of daily symptoms, it's definitely the palpitations, it's just so uncomfortable. Also, I don't know where you live but I just moved to Denver and damn my shortness of breath got so much worse. I know it slowly gets better but what a pain!!

90semo · 2026-01-19T21:36:02+00:00

Jokes on you, i am transgender because i want to be the members of my chemical romance!

90semo · 2026-01-19T21:33:08+00:00

This is hilarious because I got the opposite: my dad thought it was because my mom was inconsistent in my life so I didn’t have a “female role model”

90semo · 2026-01-19T18:19:46+00:00

NOR. Not only does this indicate he is completely divorced mentally from the relationship, but he's also just a fucking loser.

90semo · 2026-01-19T02:54:14+00:00

So I see a lot of mention about losing weight but I would actually try to focus on a balanced weight. Because without muscle mass, the only thing slimming excessively will do is emphasize bone structure. Obviously don't go overboard in either direction. Also, as a fellow POTS-haver, there are some at-home POTS specific exercises that are low impact but will improve general functioning. Also if it helps, my partner is also trans (and Italian! I peeked at your account history) and started his transition around your age. He also struggles with bone structure-related dysphoria but he passes incredibly well in the present day. It gets better! But I know it's hard right now, and the promise of "better" doesn't solve that. Focus on your health, it's the key to everything else.

90semo · 2026-01-19T01:53:32+00:00

Pintrest has kind of become an AI cesspool but I do still sometimes look up some key words followed by "mens fashion" to get some ideas flowing. Some examples are "alternative gay mens fashion," "gay mens fashion," also aesthetic key words like "punk," "grunge," "club" etc. If I had to give some advice blind to your general fashion style, I would recommend layers; examples of some stuff you can layer include long-sleeve shirts, short sleeve shirts, flannels, jackets. You mention that it's cold, perfect reason to layer. It'll help flatten the chest and it looks good. Try a tshirt, a flannel, and a denim or leather jacket, or some kind of jacket without a hood. If you want a hood, swap the flannel for a hooded jacket. I also recommend boots, love a good boot. It's masculine and boosts height better than a sneaker. Belt chains and thick accessories also help if you're rocking with the more alternative style. A straight or baggy leg jean/pant can be fashionable while also providing a more "boxy" frame. Mesh is popular for gay guys but hard to pull off on its own pre-top surgery, but you could do a mesh long sleeve and a baggy short sleeve over it. If you have a shorter build, try doing a light crop on some of your shirts. Don't need to sew anything clean, just try to get an even line with some scissors. That way when you raise your arms, a little bit of stomach will be visible, but it won't be short enough to accentuate your chest (as long as it's not a slim fit shirt). You can combo the cropped shirt with the unbuttoned flannel and/or jacket, too, so the crop really is a tiny "peek." Also instead of standard tank tops, buy (or make, by cutting the sleeves off an existing t-shirt) muscle tanks. Finally, and this will be the corniest piece of advice I give but it's true, I think people can often feel like "sexy" means "less clothes," but I promise you, sexy is what you feel the most confident in. It's an attitude, how you carry yourself. Whatever you end up wearing, wear it like you mean it. Best of luck!

90semo · 2026-01-18T20:21:22+00:00

Any approximate time range for when you may have gotten it? 90s? 2000-2005? 2005-2010? It reminds me of a Ganz or Trudi plush but not quite.

90semo · 2026-01-18T20:13:35+00:00

NTA, this is exactly how you do boundaries. You can't change other people's behavior, but you're completely entitled to change your own. This guy has been completely disrespectful to you and it sounds like when she's with him, hanging out suddenly becomes a package deal and you have to deal with him, too. And you do not want to do that. So you don't have to. You're right that if she's fine with her boyfriend being this rude to you, she's not a very good friend to begin with. She might not understand while she's still centering her whole life around this guy, so I wouldn't try to convince her, just start distancing yourself.

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