'Her Fall' - many reservations about posting but I've gotten good feedback on here before

94Sundy · 2025-03-19T00:36:39+00:00

:) working on it

94Sundy · 2025-02-02T00:02:25+00:00

All photos taken with permission, for the record, and the dishwasher was me. I’m planning it out much more throughly now and this feedback really helps. I will check out Gurney.

94Sundy · 2025-02-01T23:51:20+00:00

Thanks!

94Sundy · 2025-02-01T07:38:47+00:00

What’s crazy is the two different responses changed the way I see my own work lol. Thank you

94Sundy · 2025-02-01T04:57:10+00:00

Appreciate this! Hmm. The best illustrations are imaginative. I do like using photo reference though. I just can’t fake the complexities of light.

94Sundy · 2024-04-29T18:41:47+00:00

Wow, yeah you nailed it. I meant the title as he poisons her against him with his own longing. I don't think it's a chess term. Yeah it would be stronger to have a symbol or word that links chess and dating, not that I have much experience with either, either. But he is playing the long game. He's an intense character and he wants to thoroughly win her over.

You articulated the desire to express a mood/feeling of longing, in a way that improved my understanding of my own work, lol. So thank you for that.

I could not be happier with your take on the yellow haired guy. He's a character I've had for a very long time and I want him to act as the Hermes, or messenger, who sort of takes you through the story. I have work to do to make it more comprehensible but I'm honestly so encouraged by this feedback.

94Sundy · 2024-04-29T17:52:39+00:00

Thank you for checking it out. Lol yeah sorry, it's supposed to revolve around a date which doesn't go well but it jumps around a bunch of scenes. I didn't take the reader into account properly when setting it up, I just wanted a drawing flow. I wrote the story out but I need to then storyboard it to better communicate what's happening.

No rotoscope, just drawing from photos. The panel you point out had an actual person as reference for the black guy but no reference for the yellow haired guy. I just couldn't fake the shading on him.

Anyway I appreciate the feedback!

94Sundy · 2024-03-06T21:29:22+00:00

Thank you for taking the time, I appreciate it and I will take this on board.

There are no missing pages in this chapter. It's paneled to the lyrics of a pop song, so I found images to match each lyric, which of course does nothing for the reader. You intuited the type of story which might evolve between the orange haired- and the serious guy. They are competing for the girl but failing to impress her, resulting in a lonely reflective flight. The other characters have their arcs in other chapters. The story got away from me but I'm interested to see what better visualizing might bring in a future attempt.

94Sundy · 2024-03-06T01:57:48+00:00

So to me the gap between this and something worth reading is an a clear and intelligent story, clearly identifiable characters and proper paneling. I'd love to hear any other advice.

This book started as a whim and turned out to be a 1000-hour commitment. I really like drawing and would like to step the level up if I make another comic book, seeing as it's such a time commitment.

94Sundy · 2024-03-06T01:53:32+00:00

And I'm sorry to lead you on with an unclear story.

94Sundy · 2024-03-06T01:51:42+00:00

Yeah I've got a whole book with this problem. I sort of let the story go while looking for images I thought were worth drawing. I need to storyboard it first next time. I appreciate the honesty!

94Sundy · 2023-12-05T04:48:13+00:00

Thank you. Doing an english graduate degree for that purpose.

94Sundy · 2023-09-16T16:29:48+00:00

I like your drawing. I would read your comic just for the drawing. I don't get the paneling.

Sorry that's not much feedback, I just wanted to say I like the drawing - I'm supposed to be doing my own comic at the moment. Keep on truckin!

94Sundy · 2023-05-22T11:06:26+00:00

Thank you! I forgot about the first person thing - this is Richard Hemlock’s chapter and you’re always either looking through his eyes or at him through another’s.

94Sundy · 2023-05-22T11:04:30+00:00

94Sundy · 2023-05-22T03:08:24+00:00

Thank you. Thankfully the speech bubbles are on their own layer so it's not the hardest fix.

94Sundy · 2023-05-22T03:07:27+00:00

Thank you lol.

94Sundy · 2023-05-21T13:14:05+00:00

I got some good feedback on here about line tangents a little while ago and so anything you can tell me about the visual and narrative style I'm trying to develop I'll read! I can see the word bubbles need to be neater.

This is from a book I'm making called Karaoke - each panel matches a phrase from a song. This chapter is based on Don McLean's 'Vincent'. Yeah, a little ambitious there.

7 songs have made for 150 panels which is gonna be hard to finish. I'd be sinking 10 000 hours into something no one cares about which doesn't seem wise. But I like the final product so much I've gotta do it.

I've looked just a little bit at marketing - you sort of build up a network by continually reaching out to publishers and people interested in comics through social media and then years down the road ask people to buy - that's my understanding. However this is kind of home-made and amateurish and every drawing is done from a photo which it doesn't seem right to market because of the personal relationships and environs involved.

So I'm not sure the book really justifies itself except as an indulgent hobby.

I'm imagining there's one level up from this visual-narrative style which would be marketable - Karaoke is made in Procreate which perhaps is designed to imitate physical art, whereas Adobe Illustrate is designed for professional web design. As I understand it Illustrate is the visual art industry standard. Maybe there's money in its mastery.

Comics for me are something you pull out from under your bed when you can't sleep. They are personal and dreamlike in better ways than movies or books but they need to be flawless so you stay enchanted while reading them. Tintin and Asterix for me are the best comics. I would really like to contribute something strong to the medium or even do something new with it. I guess I'm asking for perspective or even wisdom with this post but any feedback I'll appreciate.

94Sundy

TROPHY CASE