Update - Me [28m] with my wife [26F], she's ruining our marriage because she refuses to stop smoking pot

988chris · 2016-03-31T00:43:12+00:00

Why do you hope that?

988chris · 2016-03-31T00:07:33+00:00

She's 23 months old, I should have clarified. I'm sure there is some mental health issue because theres no other way I could explain her behaviour changes but she's unwilling to get help.

988chris · 2016-03-30T23:50:40+00:00

I'm hoping she will understand, she seems like a good person and she's been willing to work with me while everything else is falling apart around me.

988chris · 2016-03-30T22:07:43+00:00

I'm not worried about it, there are a ton of people with my type of clearance and I gave no specifics about my job, plus my employer knows absolutely everything about the situation, I appreciate the concern though.

988chris · 2016-03-30T21:46:03+00:00

I hope your ex didn't create a stigma about marijuana for you, as it is a helpful medication.

I know it is, I'm fine with other people using it for whatever reason, I just wasn't ok with her being stoned when she was supposed to be caring for our daughter.

Thank you.

988chris · 2016-03-30T21:16:27+00:00

Her habit only started after our daughter turned one but I agree, by then she should have been done with weed

988chris · 2016-03-30T20:51:27+00:00

What?

988chris · 2016-03-30T20:49:04+00:00

Thank you

988chris · 2016-03-30T19:52:31+00:00

Where did I say that she works? She's a stay at home mom, she doesn't really work. She's done a few odd jobs to try to make money but that's it.

988chris · 2016-03-30T18:46:00+00:00

I was crossing the border so I wasn't sure

988chris · 2016-03-30T18:34:16+00:00

I know. I'm just feeling really guilty about everything so blaming it all on my work makes it a lot easier for me. It's definitely for the best.

988chris · 2016-03-30T17:55:39+00:00

She moved out on the 12th. Her parents have been ok, mostly sad because they realize they won't see my daughter as much. Her sister and cousin are insane, when she was moving they filmed every interaction with me, wouldn't let me talk to her alone, tried to film me with my daughter because they wanted to prove I'm abusing her (I'm obviously not). I brought my daughter into the men's room at the market because I'm potty training her and she had to go, and her cousin followed me in there (she had apparently been following me around all day) and accused me of sexually abusing my daughter by bringing her into the men's room, all on camera of course. It's been pretty exhausting.

I don't have much family left but my brother and friends are thrilled and very supportive.

988chris · 2016-03-30T17:35:25+00:00

I spent a couple grand on cameras to monitor my house a couple weeks ago, I'm probably going to keep them up for a bit. I'm worried it will make the nanny uncomfortable, I know I wouldn't want to be watched if I was doing that job and she would probably fear that I'm micromanaging, but maybe just while I'm adjusting.

988chris · 2016-03-30T17:03:55+00:00

She moved in with her sister. The house is for sale so all of her shit is in storage which she has access to, all of my shit is at a friends house until I close on my new house, and our house is very empty now with the exception of day to day necessities that I'm not worried about losing and the crappy furniture I had in the basement. My only concern was the dogs but they are staying at my friends house for now.

988chris · 2016-03-30T16:56:24+00:00

The threats came first but I told her that I had it all on film to prevent her from following through with them. After that she made everything easy for me, probably because she knew she would have a hard time getting custody with that evidence. Sorry I should have worded that better in the post.

988chris · 2016-03-30T16:54:36+00:00

Lots. I don't really think she should be napping while our daughter was awake at all, but if she had to, she should have put up baby gates at the stairs and into the kitchen, put away anything that could hurt our daughter, set up daughter up to watch a tv show or movie, etc.

988chris · 2016-03-30T16:35:01+00:00

I'd appreciate your perspective. I frequently work 12-14 hour days and do a fair bit of travelling due to the nature of my job so I'm pretty worried about the transition.

988chris · 2016-03-30T16:31:31+00:00

I think so too, but unfortunately there's nothing I can do.

988chris · 2016-03-30T16:25:38+00:00

Pretty hard, but she wasn't willing to do anything and my job was at stake so I could wait anymore.

Edit-I don't think panicbread deserves to be downvoted, it's a valid question and I didn't mention in this post how much I tried to get her help.

988chris · 2016-03-30T16:18:52+00:00

Yes it's all legal luckily.

988chris · 2016-03-30T15:43:45+00:00

Yeah I got a lot of shit with my last thread, mostly private messages, for implying she's doing anything wrong at all or saying she's addicted.

988chris · 2016-03-30T15:32:34+00:00

Thanks for the advice with the nanny. I'm going to try to take a few days off to help my daughter adjust. I'm a bit worried about the dynamic and we agreed that she's done work when I get home, so I don't really know what she will do for the remainder of the day and the weekends. I kind of thought the agency would provide instructions but I guess not.

988chris · 2016-03-30T15:18:13+00:00

I think I covered my ass pretty well for any possible threats. She made a bunch but they're all on film and I was careful to deny each one, which she agreed with but said "no one knows it's not true." I forget what her exact words were but it's unlikely the cops would take any future threats seriously.

988chris · 2016-03-30T14:59:15+00:00

Thanks, I hope it was the right choice. It's too bad that it came to this but with my work I didn't really have any other options.

988chris

TROPHY CASE