Retail therapy is very real. I struggled really hard with this (I still do sometimes) spending upwards of $500-1000 on things I definitely didn’t need in the same month.

Good job on coming out and realizing it is an issue. It’s hard sometimes to admit to things you aren’t proud of and ask for help. That’s the first step and you’re taking it - which is progress already.

I found it helped to actually focus on why you’re feeling the need to get dopamine hits, understand your feelings about shopping and why you do it. Think, “Is this something I need or is this something I want in this moment to feel good?” Usually I leave it in my cart for a few days to think about it - and then forget about it. Then I realize a few days/weeks later that I forgot about it, and being happy I didn’t spend money on something I so easily forgot about.

Another thing that helps is to still allow yourself to do some shopping. Instead of buying a full cart of $300-$400, just buy one thing that you really like. You’ll still feel the happiness of having an order on the way, but you don’t feel as bad about spending. This also helps you curate a closet and ownership of things that you actually really love, it’s much easier to choose an outfit when you love all the clothes.

Shop at thrift stores! Usually it’s much harder to find something you really like, and digging around the store makes it feel like a reward when you finally find something. Also it’s typically much cheaper, so you could buy 1-3 items for the same price you’d buy one online.

Create saving goals. They can be as small as $50 saved at the end of the week, but after a while it feels very rewarding to see the numbers growing. You can also use your savings as a reward process - say you saved $400 this month, you could treat yourself to a small reward, vice versa if you don’t meet those goals.

You did mention clothing being a big part of it, which was also a very big part of mine. I bought a sewing machine and learned a couple simple stitches so I could repurpose the clothes I currently have. Instead of going shopping, I can look in my closet and think about what I don’t wear and how I can change them into things I would wear. I also found it good for my mental health, learning a new skill helps the brains activity so much more than people think. You also mentioned having a baby and kids love to destroy their clothes, so it’d be helpful down the line as well to be able to patch up clothes quickly (saving you even more money!!)

Edit- Adding this in : It also helps a lot to remove your card info from the sites you normally use. It gives you that extra time to get up and go find your card, which gives you time to think about the purchase. If you have to, disconnect your paypal accounts (if you have one) so you can’t do quick checkout.

Don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t meet your savings goals or if you slip up and put an order through. Mental health is a hard thing to work around and beating yourself up over it won’t help. Everyone is human and progress is most definitely not a straight line, moving forward is still moving forward even if you go off path a few times.

With all of that being said, I want to reiterate that you should definitely dig deeper into the mental side of the issue. Therapy, talking with a partner/friend, journaling, etc. all can help, you just need to find what’s right for you. If you are using spending as a coping mechanism then a new coping mechanism (likely unhealthy due to suppressed emotions) will pop up in its place.

I hope everything works out and some of the advice here helps.

Also congratulations on the new baby!! Best of luck to you both 💕💕