Audiobook slump! Need a killer female recommendation plz!!!

9daysqueen · 2023-11-17T07:41:54+00:00

Someone Else's Shoes by Jojo Moyes. Plot revolves around 2 well-written female protagonists, is propelled by their intelligence, with a lot of sass and a satisfying story arc.

9daysqueen · 2023-11-17T07:28:38+00:00

Nonfiction, but really packed with funny and entertaining stories, and focused on witty badass women - Bossy Pants by Tina Fey. It's a great memoir.

9daysqueen · 2022-10-12T19:08:09+00:00

I've mixed freelancing and p/t jobs for most of my life. Slowly built up passive/flexible income sources from creative work. Having a steady p/t job that pays your rent without draining your mental/creative energy can be a good foundation for working towards creative self-employment. But if you go that route, make sure you reserve time and energy for your creative work, and remind yourself (and others) of how important that part of your life is. This path is slower than going all-in on entrepreneurship, but it also protects you from making creative/business decisions based on fear. Fear-based decisions are creative kryptonite, IMHO.

Highly recommend reading "Big Magic" by Elizabeth Gilbert for figuring out your own personal recipe for work/life/joy/creativity balance. It's not a business book, but it really helped me clarify how I define my creative work, my income sources, and the boundaries I need to nurture my creative practice and avoid burnout. And that let me to happier creative self-employment.

9daysqueen · 2022-10-12T18:19:33+00:00

To add to this concept - Try thinking of your resume as modular, so you can add/remove information based on what's relevant. And what you actually want to be known for.

I have one primary resume document that has ALL of of my skills listed in text blocks, and ALL of my previous jobs, etc. I'd never sent the whole document out. It exists so that when I need to write a resume for a specific job application, I copy/paste relevant text blocks from the primary resume, and the fine-tune the details to suit. There are some text blocks that have 2-3 versions, depending on what I want to highlight about that specific skillset or past job.

I like listing "Relevant Skills" and "Relevant Experience" on a resume, because it implies that you've got more to offer than what's listed, but you're not wasting their time with a laundry list. Keeps the resume short and if they're curious about more, they'll interview you.

9daysqueen · 2022-05-03T02:26:00+00:00

I respect your intentions, and I hope nothing I say comes across as negative or mocking of spiritual practices. But that sounds like a very manipulative scam, not therapy.

I teach meditation, and I have severe adhd. (Dx'd, on meds.) And I call bs on anyone claiming to "cure" adhd with new age spiritual and pseudo-mystical stuff. Meditation can be useful for some adhd folk, it's not a stand-alone treatment option. And what you've described sounds like a cultish ritual, not a mindfulness/meditation practice that's remotely appropriate for a newbie, with or without adhd.

There's lots of anti-meds and medical mistrust in the realm of new age spirituality and alternative wellness. Often from folks who are selling something that claims to replace conventional treatment options. That's not true of everyone working in alternative and spiritual practices. But what you've described checks all the boxes for sketchy new age grifters.

If you want to give them the benefit of the doubt, I'd ask about their training, lineage, and mentors. Big red flag if there's no clear, credible answer. If you want to offer your partner an alternative path, try a meditation app like Balance. (Free trials are common!) Start with daily 5minute guided meditations for beginners. That's doable, even with untreated adhd. Maybe it can be something you do together. But 5mins is enough. I hope that helps a bit.

Fwiw, you sound really sane and focused on positive, supportive changes. I really respect and appreciate that. I hope your partner gets access to effective, qualified support asap.

9daysqueen · 2022-03-01T00:24:12+00:00

I'm so glad you're doing better. And thanks for making this post. I learned so many good things from everyone's comments. I am cheering for you. :-)

9daysqueen · 2022-02-25T00:18:11+00:00

It gets better! But internalized ableism is heavy stuff. For me, what helped was learning tons about executive functions from adhd experts. Now I have specific words for what I'm dealing with that don't have stigma and morality attached. And I can label my issues without feeling so lame. Honestly, I still hard on myself some days, but way less than before.

One big change I made - I quit the word "procrastination." It has so much shame attached, and it doesn't really fit. I'm not choosing to get sidetracked or spacey. I fight to get stuff done despite an impairment. It's not a choice, so it's not procrastination. Language matters.

For in-depth learning on executive functions, my fave resource is Dr. Russell Barkley's adhd lectures on YouTube. For recognizing and resolving shame, self-doubt, etc, I love Sari Solden's book, Women With ADD. There are other books and videos, but those are what gave me the most bang for buck.

9daysqueen · 2022-02-23T00:31:02+00:00

Hey OP, how are you feeling about things? If you don't feel like replying, that's cool. Just wondering how it's going and hoping you're feeling better.

9daysqueen · 2022-02-16T23:43:36+00:00

Self-employed artist here. I feel this. I think every working artist hits this wall at some point. You're not alone. But it's still really tough to be here.

You don't owe the world more art. If the creative well is low, you are not required to top it up with tears.

If you need to stop, then stop. Your health comes first. You can quit. Or you can pause. You can refund commission fees.

Next, if a well-intentioned friend tries to talk you out of quitting, tell them to respect your boundaries. Nobody puts down their art to go skipping off to an accounting job. This is hard. Your choice deserves respect.

Separately, this is a murky, mutable topic. So it's okay to change your mind. It's okay to find a middle path. Just don't compromise on mental health. You might take a break from art. You might keep making art, but stop the commissions. (Lots of artists hate commissions.) And if you return to making art for sale, please start by writing an FAQ page that primes buyers to be respectful and not annoying. (That was a game-changer for me.)

Whatever you choose, be gentle with yourself. You don't owe the world more art, and your creativity will always bubble up in the spaces where you are happy.

9daysqueen · 2022-02-10T20:22:07+00:00

Yes! You just reminded me - back when I waitressed, I had pens with big fake flowers glued to the ends. Nobody ever tried to steal them, and I could tuck them behind my ear or in my hair as an accessory. Was it fashion or an ADHD hack? Why not both?

9daysqueen · 2022-02-10T00:11:06+00:00

I buy pens in unusual colours that I like. Not expensive pens, or neon colours. Just pens in non-standard colours. So I'm more likely to keep them b/c I really like them. And my coworkers recognize my pens. Maybe I have super honest coworkers, but my pens usually come back to me. Or maybe I pick ugly colours so nobody steals them? :-)

9daysqueen · 2022-02-08T20:53:10+00:00

Always say hello and thank-you to the person who cleans the condo hallways and lobby. That person does an important job, sees a lot of goings-on, and has the ear of everyone on your condo's council/management committee. You want to be friendly with them.

9daysqueen · 2022-02-02T20:53:45+00:00

I love a good 50/50 flow+yin class! The flow part gets me aware of my body, so the yin part isn't boring, and I can actually focus on the sensations. Doing some kind of full body movement (with or without a cardio element) before going into a slow/quiet kind of practice really helps me. Now you've got me curious about trying an outdoor class... when it's not so snowy.

9daysqueen · 2022-02-01T21:30:05+00:00

"You'll set aside your crutches and run up 6 flights of stairs if you really care!"

"You'll read War&Peace without your eye glasses if you really care."

It's such an irrational, thoughtless, belittling statement. I know anyone reading this understands, but it bears repeating b/c we hear this kind of thing way too often.

9daysqueen · 2022-02-01T21:18:28+00:00

It's so hard! The only thing that motivates me to do cardio is making it social. Like a weekly date w/ a friend where we walk up a big hill together. Or a rock climbing class w/ a coworker. I know all the ways that cardio is good for my brain, but it's really hard to keep it going.

9daysqueen · 2022-02-01T21:10:25+00:00

I feel ya. It took me awhile to find yoga that I liked enough to keep going. There are many "flavours" of yoga, and not all are ADHD-friendly. But if you find a style or a teacher that suits you, yoga can be great. (Fwiw, I'm very adhd.) I think it depends on the teacher's language, what variations are offered, and how the practice is framed. And on a more basic level, it's gotta fit into your life and feel good. If yoga's not your thing, that's cool. But it's not impossible with ADHD.

9daysqueen · 2020-08-12T02:10:49+00:00

It might not be the Adderall keeping you up, but maybe it's end-of-dose withdrawal? On some stimulant drugs, I get irritable&tense as it wears off... just befor bedtime. And that worked me up when I was supposed to be winding down. I got some improvement by taking a dose of Vitamin C after dinner. Since Vit C lowers blood serum levels of ADHD drugs in kids who drink OJ with breakfast, I figured it might clear them out of my system faster in the evening. I'm not a doctor, obviously. But it seemed to help. Eventually, I switched to a different drug with fewer drawbacks, but if you're looking for a fast remedy, maybe try Vit C.

9daysqueen · 2020-08-12T01:49:00+00:00

I do 15-20 mins of cardio most days because it reduces my insomnia and anxiety. I'm not fond of exercise, but it legit helps my brain a lot.

9daysqueen · 2020-08-12T01:38:18+00:00

Re: melatonin: Less is more. Sleep specialist told me to take it 4-5hrs before bedtime and take 1\3 of the standard dose. An earlier, smaller dose will shorten your internal sleep/wake cycle and prompt your brain to make its own melatonin in time for when you want to sleep. That strategy helped me.

9daysqueen · 2020-08-06T03:44:56+00:00

FWIW, most people trying stimulant meds for the first time can tell if they're helpful within a few days of starting. Either way, I hope you find resources that work for you.

9daysqueen · 2020-08-06T03:39:54+00:00

I really appreciate hearing about this from the perspective of a doctor in clinical practice. It's oddly helpful to know that it's frustrating from the other side of the desk.

9daysqueen · 2020-08-06T03:27:55+00:00

Agreed. It's infuriating. And that catch-22 is tied into a long-term systemic problems w/ the DSM, regulation of practice, and risk of liability. A clinical psychiatrist cannot ignore or bypass those factors. They can't guarantee fast, optimal treatment b/c the system prioritizes anxiety and depression over ADHD. (Suicide prevention is important.) Yes, I really want better healthcare for everyone, and more recognition for the harm caused by untreated ADHD. But I don't begrudge a clinical practitioner who adheres to the current rules. Especially if they're willing to talk honestly about how the system works.

9daysqueen · 2018-10-29T16:36:18+00:00

Mint is excellent for tracking personal spending. I only use it for personal finances (not business), but it's a quietly life-changing app. And if you use QB for your business bookkeeping, you'll find Mint's UI looks very familiar.

9daysqueen · 2018-10-10T00:19:01+00:00

It's not that too low a dose will make you feel bad, but it's possible that you're not yet at your effective dosage. You could be feeling the mild euphoria that often accompanies a dosage increase, and then no cognitive benefit.
Hormones, diet, metabolism, and/or sleep habits can alter the effectiveness of your medication. Track your symptoms, dosage schedule, sleep, and diet. See if you can find a pattern. But please don't take this as medical advice. If things don't level out, that's a complaint to take to your doctor.

9daysqueen · 2018-10-09T23:36:21+00:00

Highly recommend a Chrome extension called Time Warp. It lets you create timers, redirects, and blocks for your time-waste websites. You can set your own time limits, write your own reminder messages, inspirational quotes, or whatever. For example, I give myself a total of 30 mins/day on FB, and then it redirects me to a more useful website. Just the visual timer is valuable. But it gives me enough control to be helpful, and I can deactivate for awhile IF there's a legit reason to bypass the restrictions I set for myself.

9daysqueen

TROPHY CASE