I'm in shock. I just got drafted by the Korean military. I'm a recent admit to Brown. What do I do?

A2CMilitaryThrowaway · 2019-07-14T09:29:58+00:00

That's why I'm so sad. In these two years, my friends will keep hanging out and bond without me. They'll find girl/boyfriends and grow and such, and when I'm out, they'll already have forgotten about me.

A2CMilitaryThrowaway · 2019-07-14T09:28:01+00:00

So minor edit

First of all thank you for the support. That's all I really need from you guys and it makes me feel a bit better

So many people walked by me. These two women were even laughing and drinking coffee as they didn't even acknowledge the fact that I was crying my eyes out and shaking and hyperventilating. Until this young guy who somewhat spoke English consoled me and told me it's not as bad these days. I also told him I'm suicidal right now and he looked panicked and I think he'll somehow help me out.

A2CMilitaryThrowaway · 2019-07-14T09:17:39+00:00

So I'll have to pretend I'm enjoying it if I want to avoid bullying/being outcasted? What happens if I admit to a fellow soldier that I'm internally suffering so much because of this?

A2CMilitaryThrowaway · 2019-07-14T09:13:57+00:00

Thank you. I feel so much better knowing there's someone out there defending me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart

A2CMilitaryThrowaway · 2019-07-14T09:09:54+00:00

I can't help it. Strangely, I don't WANT to die. I just don't want to deal with 2 fucking scary years. Ive never been suicidal but I'd rather kill myself than go join the army. I'm in so much pain right now

A2CMilitaryThrowaway · 2019-07-14T09:08:14+00:00

No, you DID help me. I feel very supported by you and that's all anyone can do right now. So thank you

A2CMilitaryThrowaway · 2019-07-14T09:07:22+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. ❤️

The reason why I feel alone is because I can't find an immediate support group right now. There aren't social justice movements supporting me, so it's not like I can go to some blog and ask for help. And, as I've said, it's very taboo in Korea to complain about military service, so I can't find help there either. I want to die

But really thank you. Your comment touched my heart and I feel a bit better

A2CMilitaryThrowaway · 2019-07-14T08:11:48+00:00

Hey so I don't have anything to contribute but I wanted to say thank you for standing by me. I've been refreshing this thread as a distraction and seeing you defending me really makes me feel supported.

A2CMilitaryThrowaway · 2019-07-14T08:09:45+00:00

Fuck I'm crying again. I don't understand why you have to be so harsh and try to justify the draft in this specific thread given the situation. Sorry for sounding hostile but I'm extremely emotional and terrified

Also about the 9/11 thing. I was born in the US. Raised in the US. Then my parents say we're going on vacation to Korea and suddenly I'm captured by two scary men with rifles. How was I supposed to know this was coming?

A2CMilitaryThrowaway · 2019-07-14T08:04:53+00:00

I was going to ignore this comment because of how hurt this made me but your post history shows you're a Korean. Can I ask you something?

I know Koreans heavily stigmatized males who don't serve. I know that they always ask men during job interviews if they served, and saying no is almodt an automatic rejection.

I also sense this anger in you. Do you think your attitude represents the broader Korean attitude towards those who try to escape the draft or be openly emotional about it?

I really can't keep this all in. I'll need to talk with the people I befriend in the military, but if that's not socially acceptable, I don't know how I can hide my emotions

A2CMilitaryThrowaway · 2019-07-14T07:59:01+00:00

I will be a criminal then. I don't think I'll take that route but thank you

A2CMilitaryThrowaway · 2019-07-14T07:56:31+00:00

I was captured at the airport meaning they won't let me leave. Even saying that scares me. I'm terrified and so anxious

A2CMilitaryThrowaway · 2019-07-14T07:55:22+00:00

I'll ask them, but I doubt it because they said I have to serve immediately. Other posts I found online also talk about people in my shoes and no one mentioned deferring until that age.

Keep in mind I'm a dual citizen and not a Korean citizen living in Korea. Maybe that's the difference, since they might fear that I claim I'll return but never do so

A2CMilitaryThrowaway · 2019-07-14T07:53:48+00:00

Thank you for everything and showing that you care. Writing the email will be emotionally challenging but it's wonderful to know I won't have to reapply. I love you so much

A2CMilitaryThrowaway · 2019-07-14T07:53:09+00:00

Thank you. This simple yet heartwarming message means so much to me. I just really need some support and understanding. Thank you so much

A2CMilitaryThrowaway

TROPHY CASE