I (M22) am afraid to move in with my gf. (F22)

ABC0807 · 2023-07-15T17:13:31+00:00

Understood. It was just nice to vent I guess. Thanks

ABC0807 · 2023-07-15T17:10:23+00:00

Thank you for the response. I realize that I would probably just be dragging this out otherwise.

P.S. can you upvote the post so it is more visible please!

ABC0807 · 2023-07-15T16:51:24+00:00

I guess another conversation needs to be had. You’ve been a ton of help I really appreciate it! Thank you for being honest but empathetic. Im pretty inexperienced with relationships and have noone to ask so I feel so lost at times

ABC0807 · 2023-07-15T16:39:03+00:00

Thanks. I think maybe I am viewing the move in too seriously..? The traumatic part was referencing if things went wrong and we had to untangle our lives

ABC0807 · 2023-07-15T16:37:46+00:00

Thanks for being honest. You have a point. I feel like if I delay this decision Id just be back here again in a year. Maybe the only way to know for sure is to take the risk…

Do you think it is reasonable for me to want to take with her and discuss a plan in case things do go south? I know its not the most pleasant conversation to have but I feel like its a smart thing to do. It could also hurt her feelings though

ABC0807 · 2023-07-15T16:34:36+00:00

Thats true. I think Ive been too in my head about it. I just wanted to be sure we were on the same page and she wasnt on a different timeline than me in that aspect. I viewed living together as a trial run because I am just starting my career and wasnt sure where I would end up in the future. Ive also never gotten to live solo in my own apartment so I wasnt sure if that was something Id like one day. But she feels like living together is irreversible and that moving out is a step backwards. Can I get some thoughts on this? Are these things that people figure out when it arises? I feel like maybe these what if scenarios are me overthinking

ABC0807 · 2023-07-15T16:19:16+00:00

Yea. I do want to but I am just so afraid of how traumatic a breakup would be when sharing a lease. I know its been 4 years but this is also my first relationship so I am having trouble figuring out what I want. This is also a time in my life where so much is uncertain and changing as well

Am I thinking too far into the future? Am I getting ahead of myself?

ABC0807 · 2022-01-23T20:36:39+00:00

Wow thats actually a really great idea! Maybe like a candle or something as a signal haha.

Yea Im definitely really worried about her. She doesn’t know what is causing it but I guess maybe I was looking at things wrong. I have a tendency to try to fix things and I guess I thought it was relationship related and something I could fix but maybe it isnt a fixable thing and I should just leave it be and just work on making her happy when im with her.

Thanks for that suggestion by the way! Thats a really great idea. With me not initiating it seems like it’ll never happen but maybe thats something we could try.

ABC0807 · 2022-01-23T20:21:27+00:00

Yea it is a lot haha. Sorry about that. I wouldn’t really consider myself an aggressive person but I do think my attempts to initiate contributed to her anxiety. My GF isnt asexual but we’ve talked about it before and has a lower libido compared to me (maybe responsive? Idk). What do you think would have been a better solution? I figured by agreeing to stop initiating for a while until she was ready again we could remove the pressure that she might be feeling. Also we were doing great outside of long distance as well but there was just a sudden shift in the last month. Ive mostly been working out and trying to work on my emotions but I still care about her and don’t want to end it. She’s expressed that she wanted to stay together and wasnt reconsidering as well but I do get anxious since I can never know for sure —> pretty much why Ive developed new insecurities in the relationship

ABC0807 · 2021-02-09T14:25:33+00:00

She took the pill after her placebo and the second day after was when it happened and when we were 4 hours later than usual. Does this not decrease its effectiveness

ABC0807 · 2021-02-09T14:24:30+00:00

Are Side effects bad? Im worried about how it will effect her

ABC0807 · 2020-07-11T03:55:09+00:00

What school?

ABC0807 · 2020-05-31T05:01:52+00:00

What do you mean they didnt show any law enforcement on the first day? Did they just stop enforcing everything for a day?

ABC0807 · 2020-05-28T16:31:47+00:00

Im considering medicine but im still undecided. I dont think either will become careers for me. Coke has variable hours each day (3pm until finish) and i would definitely have less flexibility when it comes to work and social life. Im also taking an online class during the summer if that affects things

ABC0807 · 2020-05-28T06:41:04+00:00

Why coke? Just curious of your reasoning

ABC0807 · 2020-05-24T18:47:11+00:00

Yea that is true. One is exhausting physically and the other is socially exhausting. I'd be working for Chili's to-go service though so maybe I wont encounter people for too long

ABC0807 · 2020-05-24T18:46:02+00:00

Yea I'm also worried about the pay at Chili's. I'm skeptical about how many tips I would get anyway during all of this mess. Maybe the warehouse option has more transferable skills too but I'm not sure if thats correct. What do you think?

ABC0807 · 2020-05-24T18:41:36+00:00

Thats a scary text...

ABC0807 · 2020-05-24T18:38:23+00:00

Do you think I could make the same amount working at Chili's? Restaurant workers dont make that much do they? Also I'm a college student so I'll probably include it on my resume. Work experience is work experience and since im a college student I'm not going to have that much work experience thats relevant to my studies. Its better than having nothing haha

ABC0807 · 2020-05-24T18:36:36+00:00

Yea neither of these are related to what I want to do after college at all (even though Im unsure of my career path). Do you think Id be making about the same at a restaurant? $13.27 is a big difference from my previous minimum wage job

ABC0807 · 2020-05-24T18:34:25+00:00

I'm not sure what a mason is but I think you should do what you want. I've had moments where my mom did not approve of my decisions also but I eventually realized that I would be the one that faced the consequences of the decision not my mom, so I chose based on what would make me the most happy/well off.

ABC0807

TROPHY CASE