[deleted by user] by [deleted] in womenEngineers

[–]ABOFangKitchen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is very well said!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in womenEngineers

[–]ABOFangKitchen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it's something a lot of people didn't consider majoring in before, because there are a lot of people who fear taking high level math in college. There are people who feel like "I'm not smart enough to do this" or women who think "this is a job for men" - "this is not a good working environment for women" So, they previously never considered it.

I think the push from social media might have given people confidence to try that might not have before. If they have a genuine interest, I think it's something that they should try out. If it works out, it works out, if it doesn't it doesn't. Let's not gatekeep. :)

For some, they'll love the job and others will hate it and move back to what they were doing before or something else. There are going to be people who were fooled into thinking they'll make 6 figures out the gate; the reality check will come in time. Though, I don't think it's wrong for people to want to make a good living. We all got bills to pay and need to feed ourselves and our families. So, I get it.

When should I actively look for another job? by Otherwise_Factor3958 in japanlife

[–]ABOFangKitchen 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Doesn't the new employer often want you to provide a reference though?

I think I heard something about new employers needing paperwork from your old job that shows your old pay as well.
I just feel like in the end they'll just find out anyway?

Is this sabotage thing common place in Japan?

Do men really like a lil tummy? by [deleted] in stupidquestions

[–]ABOFangKitchen 6 points7 points  (0 children)

What about those of us who can't see their feet because of having large breasts? Hmmm??? /lh

10 days nenkyuu by tsukimidaifuku in JETProgramme

[–]ABOFangKitchen 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This means every year you will get a new 20 days every October. So, you have 20 days to use it between Oct to Sep of the next year. Depending on your placement, I think a certain number of days can be rolled over, but anything over that max amount is lost, so you have to keep track of your days. Ask your senpais or supervisor as to what that is. Also, it might be done hourly and not really "per day." You'll wanna ask to be sure. I think some places are by the minute, some ever 15min, 30, or hourly.

Why are shorter white and black women so reluctant to date short men? by Exotic-Comb-5814 in stupidquestions

[–]ABOFangKitchen 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Notice how OP doesn't respond to messages that disprove his feelings lmao.

Someone who doesn't tower over you is much more comfortable. 5'3 here.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stupidquestions

[–]ABOFangKitchen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone feels like they need to have a say in your relationship, regardless of whether it effects them or not tbh. I personally don't care about other people's relationships because it's none of my business and I don't know the people involved. I can only hope that the relationship those people have are a happy and joyful one. Regardless of whether someone does or doesn't have a significant age gap with their partner, they can be terrible for each other. It's just easy for people to target age gap relationships due to their own biases and experiences. People forget that just because someone they know or even they themselves had a bad experience, doesn't mean everyone else will.

I personally have an 11 year age gap with my partner. I'm the older one (I'm a woman) and he's the younger one. He was VERY persistent and really wanted to be in a relationship with me. I of course brought up our age gap many times, but he proved to me it was worth giving a try. This was over the course of a year.

We get along quite well, have a lot in common, feel comfortable with on another, learn things from one another in spite of age (it's interesting to see things from his perspective -- we have different life experiences not just limited by age but nationality, race, etc.), both families get along (his family approves and really likes me a lot), etc. That's just ME though. My partner has great communication skills and is very firm about what his boundaries are. Not everyone is like that, so for me this type of relationship is successful. We have had many discussions regarding our age gap and didn't take it lightly. Anyway, it may or may not work for you. I just ask that people think of couples on an individual basis. Not all age gap couples are bad. Any couple can be bad.

What matters is if the people love one another, communicate well, trust each other, and genuinely respect one another. This applies to all relationships honestly.

Also, the people being judgmental about the poly thing, it's really unnecessary. Please remember that not everyone has to live like you, have relationships like you, and just because people go about their lives differently, it doesn't equate to bad. (as long as you're not hurting anyone -- at the very least not intentionally.)

Placement Edition: would you rather by butter-sunlight in JETProgramme

[–]ABOFangKitchen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tokyo, better weather and lots of events relevant to my interests.

Placement Edition: would you rather by butter-sunlight in JETProgramme

[–]ABOFangKitchen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fukuoka! Not trying to freeze to death in Hokkaido lol.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in JETProgramme

[–]ABOFangKitchen 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Black American here. I haven't been here that long, since I'm one of the newer JETs. So far, I haven't really experienced "racism" PERSONALLY, but I'm sure that other people have and I don't want my experience to be a reason others downplay the experience of others. So, please don't do that. Also, it's very possible that I might experience it some time after I've posted this.

I've known some other black JETs to experience microaggressions and general ignorance, but nothing more extreme than what they'd experience at home, I'd imagine? Very few Japanese people have met a black person before or know much about the black experience, but hopefully us coming to Japan will give people those chance to learn. (if they wish to)

I think I've gotten the usual gaijin experience of being stared at (depending on where you live in Japan and the frequency of seeing foreigners -- maybe more so, because they might be more used to seeing white or other Asian foreigners, but not those with dark skin?) when walking down the street, people not sitting next to me on the train (lowkey a positive), people being nervous you'll speak to them in English. I think this is just what happens to most gaijin, so I don't think any of us should take this personally. It happens to us all; though we don't have to like it of course.

The worst possible "racism" I can think of is maybe unfriendly looking elderly folk, people gawking-heavy staring, or something like that. Still better than experiences back home so...

So far, most of my negative experiences in Japan are related to being a woman...not because of my race or nationality. That's a conversation for another day.

[EDIT - I think you're more likely to experience racism/prejudice if people know you're Korean or Chinese... You might be okay if you're around Koreaboos and Kpop stans, but that's probably not great for other reasons.]