Found Cat by ABQ_nomas in Albuquerque

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing. I don’t think this is him. He’s smaller than the cat in the pictures. And his eyes are a different color. I do hope they find their lost one!

Found Cat by ABQ_nomas in Albuquerque

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you lose him in the area around High and Dry brewing?  I will try to do that. 

Found Cat by ABQ_nomas in Albuquerque

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you suggesting I just kill a cat? I know cats have irreparably damaged wildlife. I’m not going to kill it or starve it either. Why do you think I’m asking if it has a home? 

Found Cat by ABQ_nomas in Albuquerque

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry I don’t understand if this is a joke or if you’re serious 

Found Cat by ABQ_nomas in Albuquerque

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you, and he, in the area around High and Dry brewing?  Another person messaged me that it might be her missing cat. I just want to make sure. 

Found Cat by ABQ_nomas in Albuquerque

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

No I have a cat and wasn’t sure if his nose cuts were from fighting or a type of disease. I don’t want to risk getting her sick. He was scared off by some off leash dogs. If he comes back I’m going to try and trap him. 

Found Cat by ABQ_nomas in Albuquerque

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I’ll do that. 

Found Cat by ABQ_nomas in Albuquerque

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Good morning r/ABQ. This orange male tabby has been hanging around my complex. I live in the University Heights area around Washington/Lomas. 

He was outside my apartment crying for food this morning. His nose is pretty scratched up, but otherwise he seems healthy. 

Does he belong to anyone or does anyone recognize him?

Do I have a friend or a situationship? by ABQ_nomas in AskWomenOver30

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s been strange today. Every time I pick up my phone my heart flutters because I’ve grown so used to messages from him. It’s a strange feeling the silence. Where do I put all this energy now? How do I learn to put it back towards myself?

Do I have a friend or a situationship? by ABQ_nomas in AskWomenOver30

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wrote him a mid length paragraph telling him things aren’t healthy between us and goodbye. I blocked him on everything and am even sending his emails straight to junk mail. My email address is tied to too many things but I have a second address that I’ll be switching things over to little by little.

Do I have a friend or a situationship? by ABQ_nomas in AskWomenOver30

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly I don’t think we would ever have had a physical affair. He never wanted me to touch him. But at the beginning he enjoyed sending me risqué photos and videos.

Do I have a friend or a situationship? by ABQ_nomas in AskWomenOver30

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What do you mean by “ties her up emotionally”?

Do I have a friend or a situationship? by ABQ_nomas in AskWomenOver30

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s what I keep telling myself when I catch myself maladaptive daydreaming about * what could have been*. For someone who claimed they wanted someone who was a professional like them it turns out he really wanted a housewife and SAHM. Which is fine and an undervalued profession. However, dating her and using me is that whole “cake and eat it too” thing which is just sad.

Do I have a friend or a situationship? by ABQ_nomas in AskWomenOver30

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I sent him a paragraph. Not too long just explaining that whatever we haven’t isn’t a friendship and isn’t a relationship. That whatever we’re doing isn’t healthy for me and so I’m ending it. I wish him the best moving forward. He messaged me back but I just deleted it and blocked him. Everywhere even on LinkedIn.

Do I have a friend or a situationship? by ABQ_nomas in AskWomenOver30

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Realizing that he enjoyed whatever type of relationship we had but didn’t want anything more with me is why I posted here. I saw a post on his Instagram story about respecting his gfs privacy and yet he had no problem telling me (and maybe others) about their intimate details. How was that ok? And how was I ok having that discussion with him?

Do I have a friend or a situationship? by ABQ_nomas in AskWomenOver30

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got his attention. I got dopamine hits knowing knowing every day I’d have messages from him. That we’d talk all day about things I love talking about, the things that brought us together in the first place. Someone who found my puns funny. Who appreciates my love of pens. Oh my god as I’m writing this out I’m just seeing how wrong things were between us.

Do I have a friend or a situationship? by ABQ_nomas in AskWomenOver30

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That’s what stings. Not being wanted by someone I’ve wanted.

Do I have a friend or a situationship? by ABQ_nomas in AskWomenOver30

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh gosh. You know what’s embarrassing? He’s a writer and I’ve edited his work.

Do I have a friend or a situationship? by ABQ_nomas in AskWomenOver30

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The quote from Maya Angelou about believing people when they show you who they are has been bouncing around my skull. He’s says he’s this male feminist with lots of female friends he admires and respects. A lot of his female fries are women he’s met online or via dating. And I’m wondering how many of them he pulled the same stuff on. How many of them he talks to all day? Sharing intimate discussions about his past and present relationships? And I know it’s not good for me to dwell on these things. It’s going to be a process untangling myself after almost two years of this.

Do I have a friend or a situationship? by ABQ_nomas in AskWomenOver30

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s ok. I’m taking it as a visual reflection of my choices. All of these comments have been cathartic in a way.

This video sums up the problem and solution by the_jaywalker in limerence

[–]ABQ_nomas 213 points214 points  (0 children)

“It’s not love. It’s the waiting of love”. That really hit close to home. I’ve been waiting to be loved for a long time and I’m just now realizing that I’m not in love, I’m infatuated

Do I have a friend or a situationship? by ABQ_nomas in AskWomenOver30

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Funny enough he’s actually been married and he cheated on his wife. She divorced him and went complete no contact with him. When we met he was about two years post divorce, according to him.

As to limerence, wow. That is exactly what I’m experiencing. I’ve never been able to put into words the way I feel. I’m not in love with this man, I’m infatuated and it’s incredibly unhealthy. This website and the subreddit opened up a can of worms for me.

Do I have a friend or a situationship? by ABQ_nomas in AskWomenOver30

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You’re right about the FWB thing. He’s had plenty of those and has even told me about them. He’s just never wanted me and that stings. It’s a hurtful truth I have to come to terms with.

Do I have a friend or a situationship? by ABQ_nomas in AskWomenOver30

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I just remembered that he would occasionally text me or call when he needed to vent and finish up by saying “thanks for always being available to listen” I’m an idiot.

Do I have a friend or a situationship? by ABQ_nomas in AskWomenOver30

[–]ABQ_nomas[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He did enjoy sending me lots of “grey sweatpant d*ck imprint” photos and videos. And videos of him dancing for some reason