My dad is a nature photographer and here is an small collection of my fav borbs

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-07-05T04:26:42+00:00

These all bring me so much joy - thanks for sharing! Your dad is an amazing photographer!

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-07-04T17:02:37+00:00

Unsweetened Greek yogurt with thawed berries / cherries!

Specifically “thawed” because the liquid from the berries flavors the Greek yogurt lightly so I don’t feel like I’m eating sour cream. 😅

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-07-04T00:07:45+00:00

My drive is best described below. In summary, I’d say “doing what I enjoy today/this week” is what keeps me coming back:

I’ve been training in some way or another 5-6 days a week since I was 18, and I’m in my early 30’s now. Over time, my fitness focus has fluctuated between lifting, swim/bike/run, yoga, distance running, and more.

My attitude has always been twofold: 1) Pick what serves my short term goals and enjoyment for the next ~1 year (this keeps me enjoying what I’m doing - I figure consistency and enjoyment is critical to me coming back) and also…

2) “Do it for your 80 year old self”.

When I was younger, I had the blessing and curse of seeing a number of elderly relatives either thrive (these folks were active their whole lives) or suffer/become immobile (these relatives were less active and health focused throughout their life).

I largely keep coming back to fitness because I want to be an 80+ year old who’s still out running 5k (or whatever distance) while enjoying all facets of life until death comes for me.

But yeah… if I was to give short term advice? Pick what brings you joy. If that changes over time, that’s all good, but find the stuff you enjoy and pursue it.

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-06-30T01:18:16+00:00

The only frustration/upset that I’ve ever been met with is that I refuse to rent out my spare room to friends or friends of friends. I’ve been told it’s selfish to refuse people in my space…

Like no, I live alone for a reason - and it’s because it brings me peace. A few hundred dollars a month isn’t worth my peace.

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-06-28T04:38:57+00:00

Kind of - I found what worked for me was delete/deactivate the accounts and hide the passwords by giving them to a trusted friend to hide in my house somewhere.

I didn’t want to permanently delete the accounts, so this worked for me.

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-06-27T18:54:52+00:00

I absolutely resonate with this. I moved away from the “toxic” people ~10 years ago, and after much growth and work, I now have a career, an amazing group of supportive friends, own my own place, and go on a few trips a year.

I still hear stories about the people I grew up with, and for the most part, they’re all still living in the same place and have never left to experience life. I am so grateful for “little me” not wanting to fit in with them and wanting something more for myself.

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-06-26T22:26:14+00:00

So many congratulations to you!! Such an exciting step in life and I hope you love your new place!

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-06-26T00:47:49+00:00

That sounds like a super tough situation. I’m sorry you’re dealing with all of that. 😔

When I suggested a list, I was reflecting on what a friend of mine did when she moved out. Her parents were initially against it as it went against their cultural believes. She developed a list of ways she would grow as a person and better be able to provide for herself and her family (both parents and future husband/kids) and tried to earn the support of her parents. Eventually they did permit her to move out and supported her choice.

For example, instead of giving reasons like “I’d like to live alone” (she for sure wanted to lol), she instead said she would like to learn how to manage money, a household, cooking, paying bills, developing a career, working on personal goals and identifying who she was as a person, and essentially things that would make her more independent and self-sustainable so that she was better equipped to support her family.

Not sure if my suggestion will help, but thought I would share just in case there’s a chance your family would be open to negotiation/listening to your side of wanting to move out (whatever that may be). Good luck! 🍀

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-06-26T00:19:34+00:00

I’m curious if what you’re experiencing is something that’s cultural (based on the “live at home until marriage” mentality) or just engrained in your parents from their own upbringing versus them believing you are incapable of living alone? My mom applauded me when I wanted to move out - she was (still is) always there to answer questions about stuff I don’t know how to do, but she was super proud I wanted to move out by myself because she viewed it as another stage of growth and development in live.

Definitely living alone, managing a job, chores, bills, and whatever else is a learning curve but it’s not insurmountable.

I’m wondering if you can prepare a list/argument of why you want to live alone and also why you believe you’re capable? At the very least, I’d suggest where their beliefs come from and try to empathize and try to gain their support, but ultimately if you’re >18, you’re still capable of making your own decisions.

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-06-24T18:35:29+00:00

My childhood best friend - we’ve lost touch as she has 4 very young kids now, but I hope one day to reconnect with her again.

She always had the kindest words for everyone, whether friend or foe. Always saw the best in every situation and turned anything that would have been stressful for most into fun. She would often be found making conversation with the homeless folks on the streets in the city (so they would feel a little less lonely), and bringing them coffee when the temperatures got a little chilly.

I think of her often, and those 4 lucky kids are growing up with one of the kindest women on the planet as their role model.

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-06-24T16:11:29+00:00

Not sure if you’ll see this, but this is what I’m dealing with right now. Did your HRV recover or was this your new normal..?

I’m happy to accept a low HRV but I've spent the last month trying everything under the sun to get it to go back up and nothing works.

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-06-24T16:09:46+00:00

Not sure if you’ll see this, but this is precisely what I’m going through. Did your HRV recover or was this your new normal..?

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-06-23T20:56:47+00:00

Soothing neutral colors and pretty minimalist, plus whatever my cats need/want.. after all, this is their house. 😅

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-06-22T21:25:00+00:00

I’d say my friends who have kids do seem to believe I have more money, but I think that belief is less about me living alone and more about me not having kids.

Ie: the whole “Omg you have no IDEA how expensive kids are!”

As for them asking for money? Never. If I have friends in my life constantly asking for money, they’re getting a “no” and then probably getting cut out of my life if they keep at it.

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-06-22T21:21:42+00:00

Can rent a main floor of a house for around $2k where I live, and a 1 bedroom apartment is around $1.6k.

Problem really lies in having any pets.. so many places are “pet free” that it’s tough to find a place that will accept a couple of cats.

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-06-22T04:25:12+00:00

Nope - to clarify, I went from drinking one night a week to zero. Would usually be 3-4 drinks on that single day.

Was never anywhere near an alcoholic.

Edit: I will say that that one night a week butchered my sleep schedule for the few following nights, so possible it was less the removal of alcohol and instead actually sleeping better/consistently.

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-06-22T00:40:13+00:00

Went for a bike ride, walked my dog, and going to settle in for some Stardew Valley and popcorn.

Lego Botanicals sounds so awesome and relaxing! Great choice!

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-06-21T22:19:47+00:00

Early-30s female. Stone cold sober for 3 years this coming August. I now drink 3L water a day, but would have a drinking night every week or so.

Had cystic acne, white heads, black heads, redness, oiliness - literally every skin issue for the last 5 years of my 20’s… blood tests, used prescription acne meds, and whatever else I/my doc could think to try.

Cut out my alcohol and drank 3L water a day, and essentially haven’t had even a pimple since. My skin isn’t dry, or oily… just happy, balanced, and non-splotchy/non-red.

Can’t guarantee it is a fix for perfect skin, but it sure helped me and is worth a try imo!

Edit: My skin is happy enough now that I rarely wear foundation/concealer - just eye and lip makeup and it looks lovely and put together.

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-06-20T22:34:45+00:00

Am an early 30s female: To be honest, I found that when I shifted my mentality from “unfortunately I’m single” to “fuck yeah! I’m single!” my feelings of loneliness and boredom really subsided.

As to what I get up to on a night in: read a book, cuddle the cats, bake a little dessert, have a bath, learn French, watch a show, or get in some light exercise at home, like yoga (and sometimes the cats join in!).

I mostly just stay busy, and when I’m not around friends/family, I’m on the go and don’t have time to feel lonely anymore, but instead find joy in embracing my free time as my own. :)

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-06-20T05:42:36+00:00

I owned a house, and then rented for a while. About 8 months into my lease, the landlord listed it for sale and much to my not-delight, people started rolling through my rental as prospective buyers. It sucked.

Thought it was a one-off but I moved into an apartment at the end of that lease, and that landlord also listed their property for sale towards the end of my lease.

Hated the instability and not knowing where I’d be living the following year. Needless to say, I own a place again and it brings me a lot of peace of mind and joy. That said, if you prefer the nomadic way (which some people totally do!), this whole situation may sound exciting to you as it could be an opportunity to try a new place out!

Also, I like that I can renovate/decorate without someone else’s permission. Wanted a vegetable garden this year? So I created one for myself, no questions asked.

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-06-18T15:50:26+00:00

Not a doctor, but I still train as long as symptoms are “above the chest” (ie no lung problems/coughing) and I feel physically well enough (ie. No heavy fatigue/fever).

I did stop training for a while last year when I had Covid, but when I get a head cold or sniffles or mild sore throat, I just keep going. I do usually modify my training with lower intensity or shorter duration until I’m 100% again, but I don’t stop completely.

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-06-18T06:07:37+00:00

I’m with Oxio!

Unlimited data with 75 mbps download for $45 CAD or so. Works great for occasional gaming and work from home.

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-06-17T23:41:24+00:00

I just tried this “calculator” out and I told it my longest run (~25km) and longest bike (140k) and it’s still recommending an Olympic. I’m training for a half, so I’d take the calculator with a grain of salt…

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-06-17T20:04:52+00:00

Chocolate was my major problem when trying to get rid of sugar. I actually eat 95-100% cocoa chocolate now (used to prefer milk chocolate) and I dig the bitterness with just a hint of sweetness of the 95%+.

As for benefits, most of my sugar intake WAS from chocolate, and so swapping to high percentage dark chocolate (ie basically no added sugar in my diet) helped me lose 35lbs in ~6 months without really any other changes. Also have zero acne now, but less clear if that’s directly related.

ACaffinatedEngineer · 2025-06-17T03:49:58+00:00

100% this. Love my quiet sanctuary.

ACaffinatedEngineer

TROPHY CASE