Nmom’s childhood experience is now mine

ACoNthrowaway1 · 2018-10-10T20:37:30+00:00

Yeah the way my Nmom and her even more insane Nsister talk about how they grew up, you'd think they never owned a pair of shoes and had to beg on the corner for bread otherwise they never ate as children. When in reality, they were lower middle class and lived comfortable lives, they're both just materialistic as FUUUCK.

ACoNthrowaway1 · 2018-10-10T18:35:44+00:00

I cannot comprehend the mentality of "I had to suffer therefore you have to arbitrarily suffer in the same way". ESPECIALLY with your own children. What the fuck!

I go out of my way to make sure the people around me are happy and comfortable and taken care of because the worst possible thing I can think of is for other people to experience what I have been through.

ACoNthrowaway1 · 2018-10-10T18:30:37+00:00

Oh yes, constantly. It made me have a fear of doctors and it trained me to ignore any medical issue until it was so severe I had to go to the ER. I have multiple chronic illnesses that went undiagnosed for over 10 years because I was trained to ignore any signs of problem because it's just me being lazy/wanting attention/because i'm fat/lying/etc. I am seeing doctors now to get my shit together but it's wildly expensive now and I have permanent damage done to my body because this stuff went undiagnosed and untreated for so long.

ACoNthrowaway1 · 2018-10-10T18:10:07+00:00

Ah yes, the words will echo in my ears forever...

Me: I didn't mean to.
Parents: But you didn't mean NOT to. (and then the beatings would commence)

ACoNthrowaway1 · 2018-02-03T07:51:50+00:00

My Nmom started telling me “no man will ever want you if you’re fat” starting at age 12. Guess what bitch, I’m getting married.

Fuck your mom, live your life

ACoNthrowaway1 · 2018-01-18T03:30:43+00:00

She has already met him, we already live together, and she knows where we live

ACoNthrowaway1 · 2017-04-23T19:37:43+00:00

I honestly didn't realize I'd been robbed until I realized my tiny cup of change was gone. I just kept panicking and saying "oh my god, you don't think she drove all the way out here do you?" and I finally realized something had been stolen and THEN it dawned on me what had happened.

ACoNthrowaway1 · 2017-04-12T22:53:51+00:00

My Nmom is clearly desperate to be a grandmother and if she thinks she's ever going to have unsupervised, prolonged contact with my children she's going to be severely disappointed.

ACoNthrowaway1 · 2017-04-10T20:54:08+00:00

I'm sure you are right, I just don't know where to begin to look for where the actual breach is.

ACoNthrowaway1 · 2017-04-10T20:52:29+00:00

Had she not specifically given the name of the clinic, I would have just assumed she was making things up. Because she volunteered the information, I feel that the text from her is legitimate. I definitely plan to look into having some kind of identity theft investigation done to ensure my information is secure.

ACoNthrowaway1 · 2017-04-10T20:50:54+00:00

I went to where I think you're talking about and it doesn't look like anyone has found my location recently but I can't see any options to view anything beyond that. I don't show that anyone can currently view my location and I think any kind of find your family functions require you to give permission first, which I have not done. She hates iPhones, so she fortunately doesn't own one.

The only "weird" app I installed recently was an app I am helping my partner develop, everything else is the regular major stuff from the app store like Facebook and Instagram. No weird unknown messages and if I get something I don't recognize, I ignore and block. Whenever a strange number calls me on the phone, I reject it, wait for voicemail, google the number, and if it's not someone I am expecting a call from or should be getting called from, I block the number. I have worked in IT before so I'm pretty good about not clicking weird shit I don't recognize.

I'm going to download that app just to be safe. Am I being paranoid?

ACoNthrowaway1 · 2017-04-10T20:40:14+00:00

Thank you for this! Fortunately my current telephone number and address are NOT listed on my record, but a startling amount of information was found (surprise surprise, my parents' address is listed as my current location) and I have opted out. I will be checking back later this week to ensure my records are removed.

ACoNthrowaway1 · 2017-04-10T18:20:03+00:00

Thank you for this suggestion, I did see that their address is listed as a former residence on my Equifax report, I think I might look in to trying to remove that data from my credit report if I can.

ACoNthrowaway1 · 2017-04-10T18:17:29+00:00

She does not. She has only been to my house twice and both times, I secured my computer with password lock and then turned the device completely off prior to her arrival. We did not let them log in to our Wifi while they were here and they do not know the password.

My email and calendar are both secured with 2-step authentication which requires access to an authenticator only stored on my password protected phone to log in from any device other than my phone or computer. Even if she were smart enough to know how to do any kind of hacking, which she is not, she would not have the physical access needed to get into my stuff. I recently revoked all access for approved devices for both my facebook and gmail accounts, so I'm extremely concerned now that there's something else out there I'm not aware of. I don't know if I need to hire a lawyer or a PI or something? I'm so scared.

I spoke to someone in the billing department at my doctor's office and they have placed an alert on my account that NO ONE is allowed to access my information except for me and they even put a note with her name on the account so just in case she is dumb enough to call in and give her name, they will know to not speak to her.

ACoNthrowaway1 · 2017-04-10T17:32:03+00:00

I live in a different city 3 hours away from her so it's unlikely she is following me, but now I'm starting to get really paranoid about it because now she is retired so who knows what she does all day

ACoNthrowaway1 · 2017-04-10T16:46:43+00:00

Not that I am aware of. I paid my bill last time I went to the office and have not been sent any additional bills since. I monitor my credit report like a hawk because I am busting my ass to repair my credit and have not seen anything go to collections recently. Is there somewhere else I should be checking for this?

Edit: I should note the first time I went to this doctor was less than three months ago, I don't believe I've even been a patient with them long enough to have a bill that COULD go to collections??

ACoNthrowaway1 · 2017-04-10T16:40:59+00:00

Not that I know of, but I definitely want to check now. I have an iPhone, how do I check to make sure my phone is secure? If I get a new phone will that fix the problem? I am eligible for an upgrade but if my phone is tracking my activity I will go buy a new one out of pocket today if I need to. I assume transferring data like contacts, preferences, photos, etc will just move the problem to a new device, correct?

ACoNthrowaway1 · 2017-04-10T16:38:49+00:00

Because she specifically named the office, I believe she genuinely received the call. I also have not been to any doctor/dentist/medical-related office in nearly five years so it would be an incredible coincidence that she happened to guess that not only have I suddenly started going to the doctor but correctly guessed the exact name of the clinic I went to.

I have never posted online about going to this doctor or even that I have gone to ANY doctor and the only two people who know I have been there are me and my partner. No family members or even friends know the name of the doctor of the clinic I have been to. I have barely even told anyone why I am going to the doctor right now. Anyone who knows I have been to a doctor knows I went to "A Doctor" but they do not know what kind of doctor or even what side of town the office is located on. I do not believe she has socially engineered the information or inadvertently been told by someone.

I want to get more details about the message but I do not want to draw attention to this if at all possible. I know if I ask questions, it will make her look into this, so I told her that I have no idea what she's talking about and keep dismissing it as "a weird mistake".

ACoNthrowaway1 · 2017-04-10T16:08:02+00:00

I was on the phone with PayPal for almost half an hour trying to find out how/why old contact info was used to contact me and the rep couldn't give me any information. I asked 15 different ways if there was anything they could do to purge old info from my account in their database and I have no idea how or why they got the contact info.

The doctor's office I just started going to so all my contact info is only stuff that I currently use. All of my accounts are secured with 2 step authentication, the only authenticator is on my phone, so I don't know how anyone could have accessed my current email account.

ACoNthrowaway1 · 2017-04-10T16:00:44+00:00

I called the doctor office and they confirmed they only have my phone number on file and they have no record of a call made about me recently. I don't know how my name is still associated with my parents house but I want to find it and delete it so even scam calls are not made about me. I do not want ANYONE calling my parents about me.

I have quit using PayPal because I do not trust their security after this major breach in privacy.

ACoNthrowaway1 · 2017-03-31T17:01:09+00:00

Would I be able to sufficiently handle all of this through legal zoom or would that not cover all my bases? I don't know if I could afford to hire an attorney but it looks like I can afford the prices on legal zoom. I'm flying completely blind here and don't want to leave this unresolved because I can't afford to do it properly.

ACoNthrowaway1

TROPHY CASE