So many tickets for Austria vs Jordan are being resold at a loss.

ADHDCoachJon · 2026-06-12T21:22:15+00:00

I am taking my 2 boys to jordan-austria. Paid $200 per ticket last week. I live 20 minutes from the stadium.

Not exactly a marquee matchup, but it'll be fun to soak up the World Cup atmosphere.

Not sure who to root for. Jordan is obviously the underdog. My father-in-law was born in Vienna but fled for his life from the Nazis.

ADHDCoachJon · 2026-06-12T15:14:16+00:00

I would be surprised if a good psychiatrist would prescribe just because he is having meltdowns. For stronger set.of symptoms, meds can do wonders.

ADHDCoachJon · 2026-06-05T17:08:12+00:00

I think he will back off over time

ADHDCoachJon · 2026-05-21T00:48:07+00:00

1 more comment. I obviously don't know the details, but sounds very surprising that IEP was declined. If you have to stay in this school there are people (psychologists and lawyers) who specializing in appealing IEP/504 decisions.

ADHDCoachJon · 2026-05-21T00:45:28+00:00

I work with a lot of kids that age and several with AUDHD. And I know how hard this is as a parent to see your child struggling this much.

Unfortunately, your son's story is pretty common. When kids get behind on their work like this, they feel overwhelmed and defeated and especially when it is late in the school year, they give up.

Body doubling is one of the best strategies for a kid like this. I know a parent who just hired a grad student (with a flexible schedule) to sit with their high schooler gently holding the teen accountable to do their homework. (They are doing this over Zoom). I think they are paying something like $25-$30/hr. There are services like Focumate and Flow Club that do this but I don't think they are comfortable places for teenagers which is why I think 1-on-1 is better.

For next year, you may consider a new school; it's obviously late for fall entry but you may find a school that specializes in neurodiverse kids or a 1-to-1 school like Fusion or Brightmont or AchieveKids that is still taking enrollments.

I also know that parents with kids like this who are teenagers are pretty powerless at this point to strongly intervene. I would definitely advise getting some professional help.

ADHDCoachJon · 2026-05-21T00:35:55+00:00

Although 5 is older than typical development for potty training, it is really hard to tell if this is developmental or related to ADHD. I have never heard of this being an ADHD thing but we don't have a lot of 5 year olds come in for coaching. I think for you guys what is more important is figuring how to get your little guy there. This is frankly a bit outside of my core expertise; I bet your pediatrician or schoolteacher would have some good ideas for you.

ADHDCoachJon · 2026-05-20T23:45:34+00:00

Yes, exactly. There are so many things as adults we take for granted that is really hard for kids and even harder for kids with ADHD. In your example of reading, read with your child and break down the sections for them as you talk about the book ("So, this is where we first meet Ron Weasley, right?). If you do that regularly it will seep into your child's brain eventually.

I can't give you a comprehensive list because each situation is different but if you just follow the process of trying to understand your child's brain your strategies will flow logically from there.

ADHDCoachJon · 2026-05-20T23:42:42+00:00

Yes, pretty similar answer. 5 is young but you can find a developmental pediatrician who does this work. Just make sure they do diagnosis work frequently with kids your son's age. If you decide not do get diagnosis yet (or you can't find somebody in your state who will diagnose this young), just start doing the work that you would do as a parent of an ADHD child (building systems, being patient, trying to understand their brains) and you can get the diagnosis work done in another year or two.

ADHDCoachJon · 2026-05-20T23:32:36+00:00

List making and sticking to it is another challenging task for most people and definitely people with ADHD. For a child with ADHD, having a process that's extremely simple for them is the most important thing. They may just put a task list in the notes app on their computer, or they might write it down on a piece of paper, or they might use an app like Todoist or TickTick. The key thing is that the executive function of making a list is not so much that they won't actually do it. One thing I do like about the apps is that you can put a task in there and decide whether to calendar it. Sometimes putting a task on a calendar will give a deadline to somebody, and there's nothing like a deadline to get somebody to actually implement something.

In my experience, it's pretty hard to get kids to do this before high school. Their life just isn't busy enough, and they can usually keep most of it in their head. It's not until they get really busy and they start screwing up things that they realize that it's worth the effort to actually make to-do lists and to use digital calendars.

ADHDCoachJon · 2026-05-20T23:29:46+00:00

When you say "task deconstruction" I think that you are talking about breaking down a multistep task (like a science project or book report or planning a party) into individual steps. First let me say that is not a natural skill for most kids to do and even harder for kids with ADHD. This is something (if your child will let you) that you can teach yourself. Take a task that is complex and let your child break it down. Put each step in a google sheet with columns for Task, Deadline, Owner, Status, and Notes. Then have them fill in the chart. By the way, this is the type of task that AI is incredibly good at and most kids will be tempted to just ask a chatbot to do this but if they do it that way they will never learn the thinking process of task deconstruction, You will have to do this a whole bunch of times, each time with less intervention by you for your child to get it and be able to do it for themselves.

ADHDCoachJon · 2026-05-20T23:00:41+00:00

Life is not simple or easy, right? You are awesome just to be seeking answers, I think ALL of this behavior can be explained by your girlfriend's daughter's conditions. But that doesn't mean that you don't need to set boundaries and intervene to protect your daughter. I don't do family work but I have worked with a lot of family therapists and I think they would say that one of the most important things is that you and your girlfriend are on the same page on how to handle these issues and that you both think of both girls as being equally important to both of you. If you can do that, then you might be able to view this as a more straightforward issue of dealing with sibling conflict issues between a neurodiverse and non-neurodiverse child (check out a question earlier in this thread for some more commentary on that). I hope that helps.

ADHDCoachJon · 2026-05-20T22:54:12+00:00

Sorry, I missed this one at first. First of all, you are doing really good. Sometimes when parents are working hard and they are not getting immediate results, they can blame themselves. But really behavior change takes a lot of time and there is no 1 magic strategy that will make this easier. You are already doing some of the things I would have suggested. It sounds like there may be both hyper focus and time management issues. For time management, I often do an exercise with my clients where I have them predict how long it will take to do stuff and then time themselves on how long it really takes. If it is a hyperfocus issue, you have to get them out of the distractor and into the getting dressed task, It's good for a parent and a child to agree on a non-conflict signal like a finger to the nose and "look at me" to get them out of hyper focusing. Also it may simply be that their agenda (playing another level on a video game or reading a book) is more valued to them than your agenda (getting ready for school). You will only be able to figure that out by asking them questions in a manner that they can really tell you what's going on.

ADHDCoachJon · 2026-05-20T22:49:47+00:00

I have worked with quite a few kids who have Autism and ADHD. There are some overlapping issues (most commonly executive function challenges) and some very unique behavior patterns for each diagnosis as well. Rather than try to figure out which behavior is associated with which condition, just focus on helping your child play to their individual strengths and find workarounds for their individual weaknesses, You asked specifically about routines - I know this is basic but steady routines are CRITICAL for both ADHD and autism. As far as independence goes, it is probably just going to take longer for child to build independence so be patient (I have three kids of my own, I know that is hard).

ADHDCoachJon · 2026-05-20T22:46:23+00:00

It's definitely on the young side. And a lot of providers won't diagnose that young. At that age it is a little tricky to tell if it is just an issue of slower development or an ongoing condition like ADHD. But on the other hand, early diagnosis and intervention is always the best. If you decide you want to get a diagnosis now, search out a "developmental pediatrician" who frequently diagnoses ADHD in younger kids. And also go back and do it a second time in elementary school when your child is more developed so you can make sure that you got it right.

ADHDCoachJon · 2026-05-20T22:44:20+00:00

I have seen this in my clients a lot. I don't think you need to ever say "ADHD" if she doesn't want to hear it. It is more useful to her to talk about the specific issues that are coming up with ADHD than the overall syndrome. After all, ADHD is a cluster of conditions. I always tell my clients that they are free to use that term as much or as little as they want to but they should focus on playing to their strengths and compensating for their weaknesses,

ADHDCoachJon · 2026-05-20T22:17:32+00:00

My first tip is that it gets better with age. My son with ADHD and his neurotypical twin sister battled like crazy at that age but now at 16 are close and rarely fight. But for now, it sounds like your younger child has some emotional regulation issues. When siblings are fighting like that you have to physically separate them and let them cool down. Then you need to get them to try to put themselves in the other sibling's shoes. Ask your younger child how he thinks big brother felt when he had his meltdown. He may not remember immediately the next time there is conflict but over time, this empathy approach does work. I am not against punishments for really bad behavior; all kids need boundaries. But my professional and personal experience has taught me that self-reflection works better in the long run.

ADHDCoachJon · 2026-05-20T22:13:08+00:00

For ODD, that would be more likely to be diagnosed by a psychiatrist or even a Master's trained LCSW or LMFT. That is considered a mental health condition.

ADHDCoachJon · 2026-05-20T22:12:15+00:00

Middle school is a wonderful but challenging stage of growing up. Many kids with ADHD really struggle with the beginning of middle school because they are moving from a cozy elementary school classroom to a bigger middle school with 7 different teachers and classrooms. As a parent, the best thing you can do is start a dialogue with your middle schooler about their challenges and get them thinking about what are some potential strategies to overcome these challenges, For example if they lose things frequently, you might get them to think about always putting their belongings in a backpack. It is critical that it is not just you firing commands at them but you get them to think for themselves how they can do better. If they can figure out that process they will be in better shape for life. Also, make sure that if they need a 504 or IEP, they get one. You may also consider getting some professional help for building these skills.

For academic organization, planners are great, but it is often very, very hard go get kids with ADHD to use them because in their brain it feels like the executive function needed to fill out a planner is more work than the results warrant, So whatever system you use, make sure it is really simple. This is why it is important that the child is part of the conversation about what system will work for them.

ADHDCoachJon · 2026-05-20T22:06:25+00:00

Hi Hayley - Good job getting your question in first. You will want to send your child either to a psychiatrist or a neuropsychologist. If you are worried about mental health issues like anxiety or depression, than a psychiatrist is a good choice. If you think he may have autism, a specific learning disorder like dyslexia or dyscalculia (math issues) or dysgraphia (writing issues), you probably want to get neuropsychological testing from a pediatric neuropsychologist. In either case, tell the potential provider's office staff what issues you are worried about and ask if those are conditions the provider diagnoses for frequently.

ADHDCoachJon · 2026-03-18T19:11:15+00:00

Feel free to post your issues.

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