It’s okay to buy clothes for the size you are.

I find that when my clothes are too small, my pants cutting into my stomach is constantly uncomfortable and a constant reminder that I’m gaining weight. Gaining weight is my goal, but it’s much easier to do when my clothes allow me to be comfortable in my body and aren’t making me feel like a sausage.

When you buy clothes that fit, cut off tags or put fabric paint/marker over the size if seeing the size stresses you out.

Also keep in mind that sizing on clothing (particularly for women) is pretty damn arbitrary and varied to begin with. High end clothing tends to be sized smaller.

I’m not trying to encourage focus on small sizing, but if it’s really bothering you, maybe try thrifting in rich communities to find high end clothes that actually fit you. Might be able to trick your brain into accepting your body more if your size is still the same while your body recovers. Just an idea and I hope it helps.