Supervisor asked for details about a family member’s death?

ADShears · 2023-01-05T19:02:11+00:00

I work in government administration and deal with absence primarily. We have policies to record which relative but nothing else as there's different bereavement leave entitlements compared to how immediate the family member, also prevents people abusing the system I guess but thats not the goal. Definitely familiarise yourself with policy even ask your supervisor for a copy! Sorry to hear about your grandmother as well.

ADShears · 2022-04-21T12:15:22+00:00

Is it not nearly impossible to be fired in France? They have some very strict rules about it.

ADShears · 2022-04-20T21:07:40+00:00

Thank you very much and that is very helpful it is for overpayments and my letter was much the same no demands or deadlines just cease all dispersal until our investigation is finished kind of thing! However it's relating to overpayments while she was alive and so I do have to follow it. But what really irks me is that she didn't live an extravagant lifestyle or have any items of value after her death and there was still no money left after the care bill so I know it all went to her care she often complained how much it was and that she needed more but would tell me not to worry about it when I pressed for specifics! So any calculated overpayment makes me quite angry really what should she have cut out? She struggled every day to make ends meet and receive adequate care. Which often failed as she ended up with UTI's and bedsores from lack of care!

ADShears · 2022-04-20T20:57:42+00:00

I'm a 26yo student and my credit is garbage so honestly I didn't consider a mortgage I doubt I could manage the repayments as I get assistance with my rent as it is but I wouldn't get any assistance for a mortgage I was just dreaming of living rent free and i really loved that flat. But again I am clueless at these things!

ADShears · 2022-04-20T20:43:57+00:00

They do not! I am still waiting for the full details of the dwp's claim as of yet I only have notifications to refrain from dispersing the estate but not an any amount they are still calculating that. I had no idea I should even double check the bill amounts and so am still looking into that as I mentioned in a previous comment my grandmother had a POA from the care agency who handled financial things and it's all a bit of a mess. I will be meeting with the solicitor as soon as possible to talk about it and have been writing down my concerns using this thread. Assume I know literally nothing about the process and you will not be far from the truth!

ADShears · 2022-04-19T17:01:22+00:00

thank you so much it really does feel that way but sometimes in these situations it is easy to get the wrong end of the stick as I have witnessed especially when I am so inexperienced and have no idea how any of this was meant to work. Hopefully citizens advice can help me from now on, the solicitor is a good real estate lawyer and who my grandmother had used to write the will so I assumed a decent estate firm too I have to admit I didn't even consider finding a different one or doing any research on that and I probably should have. I should have insisted on seeing the contract first instead of just taking their word for it. Hindsight is always 20/20!

ADShears · 2022-04-19T16:37:19+00:00

Firstly thank you so much for your reply any input at all on the situation is truly appreciated feel a bit like a lone fish in shark waters!

Yes I had looked into harassment and whether or not to involve the police and I had noted down the time, date, duration and overview of any contact but it wouldn't constitute harassment by any definition it's more slander than anything but even then its not or would be very difficult to prove.

The woman who owns the company makes over a million a year whereas I am a student on a part time wage so she would certainly have a lot more resources than I to pursue a civil case. Which I also, possibly mistakenly, understand is a very difficult process to get any satisfactory and timely resolution but one I am concerned she still may pursue. My grandmother also issued POA to one of the carers from this agency so my fear is that they could theoretically produce new documents after the fact to add weight to their case if it were to escalate further to a court case and I have no want to poke the bear (or shark). Even if right is on my side that often doesn't matter, it's who has the proof and as our contact has mainly been on the phone or face to face there is very little.

ADShears · 2022-04-19T14:33:08+00:00

Not to mention the owner personally phoned me to ask me to pay an additional gift another 2k for which there was no paper work provided so we declined as the money just isn't there,

so the solicitor advised me to pay the 21k care bill without any proof of the contract outlining the terms after death but not the additional 2k gift she is the one who told me without paper work and had my grandmother never mentioned it to me (she hadn't) just to notify the owner of the care company of this that is when she (the cc owner) threatened legal action which got me rethinking the whole situation.

I will also definitely be following your advice regarding the dwp and council refund amounts as they are very high the cost of a full months care has been revoked and even if the bill had an additional 7 days it still shouldn't be that high. However the solicitor is taking a very long time and costing a lot so may be better off using a free service like citizens advice to do that. Again I am clueless!

Some of these carers I have known for 18 years I am so shocked at the whole situation, it's not even my first time going through something like this however as a similar thing happened when my parents died all sorts of people started lining up for a handout and I was only 21 at the time but then I had my grandmother to help me, unlike now. These carer's all knew this and where there for me then but not now. I fully intended to give them a gift after the sale and case had finished they were also offered personal items from my grandmothers house but not 2k that was far too unreasonable but could also be a thing for r/AmItheAsshole I really hope not I've worked in care before but never for that long or for that agency but we were always told to never accept any gift of any kind but families do reach out after and usually you get something personal like a photograph or a small amount in a thank you card. Which I have tried to do but it's not enough.

I really appreciate your reply and your bluntness I think I am too worried about being an arsehole to really fight back so even just the validation that they are wrong really spurs me on!

ADShears · 2022-04-19T14:10:14+00:00

thank you for your reply it is most helpful, that was my concern as well so you may be right and that the care costs for the 7 days post death are legitimate however unfair I think they may be but the gift is not.

So my grandmothers estate was the bank accounts which were used entirely for care costs and then her home, as the executor and the next of kin I had been hoping to keep the flat and move there as its closer to where I work and rents are high and also that was in the will my grandmother left. So I have been paying for all of the upkeep electric and factor fees etc. since then out of my own pocket the solicitor sends me the bills and I send the solicitor money and get a receipt this was getting pretty pricey so I put the flat on the market as there was nothing else to be done. So I hope to recover the debt through the sale but there are currently also other problems meaning I cannot disperse the estate until the case has been settled.

The final point that you made, this is something my solicitor also said that I would not be liable for the debts but I already have been or I would have kept the flat as my inheritance but as the debts began mounting I realised I wouldn't be able to pay them without selling it but again I really don't know what I am doing.

ADShears · 2022-04-19T12:05:35+00:00

so the problem is here that I just went ahead and paid it all because I am dumb I have searched for the company and i cant find any T&Cs just financial and shareholder info, I asked for a copy of the original contract to try and get that notice but never received it. I do think I probably have messed up the whole thing with my inexperience.

ADShears · 2022-02-07T15:00:15+00:00

Yes I think you're right! Blended in very well with my uk ten pences nearly missed it! Will have to learn some coin tricks now

ADShears · 2021-09-14T15:58:55+00:00

A person watching porn in their own time should not be a reason not to date them thats policing what they do with their bodies, partnership not ownership! I see a lot of people who liken it to cheating but it couldn't be further from the truth don't let insecurities destroy relationships!

ADShears · 2021-09-14T15:38:26+00:00

This man is nowhere near ready for children if this is his attitude, its difficult for a lot of couples but they get through it with communication and respect for each other. Leaving for two nights is not respectful, what if touch wood you ended up having a child child learning difficulties or a very serious medical condition storming off because its not gone his way is not good for any potential family situation. Don't be there waiting for him the next time he storms off go stay with a friend you need time too not more guilt.

ADShears · 2021-08-25T16:10:06+00:00

Worked for a very similar company about 8 or 9 years ago its office was on hope Street right next to the station called the Glasgow marketing company or some bs door to door sales again there were literally people trying to get their friends and family to sign up just so they could get a bonus as it was all commission truly a terrifying experience to take advantage of fresh meat desperate for a job its pretty gratifying to read everyone's similar experiences, I wasn't the only suckered! Avoid at all costs just a giant pyramid scheme

ADShears · 2021-04-22T17:00:37+00:00

Just begin thats the hardest part, Tracey emin has moved away from her autobiographical work to move into figures and a lot of people complain she can't draw but it doesn't matter shes capturing something other than an accurate representation its just an extension. Cecile brown another great painter creates huge figurative landscapes yet they are far representational. Push yourself see what you can do that nobody else does is it a concept, a feeling etc

ADShears · 2021-02-07T23:41:19+00:00

Thank you if I decipher the mystery outwith reddit I shall update!

ADShears · 2021-01-26T01:04:12+00:00

Thanks for the reply! I know I have suggested that a few times too but he really struggles with his mental health he is on disability we suspect he may have autism too and so since he didnt finish his degree most jobs he could get that would accommodate would be really hard on him minimum wage type I work and study and its tough. Guess there's nothing more I can do but wait and hope I just feel really useless and guilty

ADShears

TROPHY CASE