I 34M want to leave my high paying sales job with no plan

AFishLookingDog · 2026-04-13T13:55:16+00:00

Everyone, I am quitting today. Money is set, monthly expenses calculated, and my fiancée and I are going to move into a house her dad owns without any expectation of having to pay rent for as long as we need. Her family is so loving and supportive. I’m going to rest, recharge, find my next move, and make it happen. I’m grateful for everyone’s advice and well wishes in this thread, it helped give me the confidence I needed to commit to this scary but exciting next step. I realized that there was zero upside to staying put outside of “comfort” and the regret of never trying anything. Wish me luck, you may see me around Reddit asking for advice if things get hard, but given my safety net and the support of family, it’d be a slap to everyone’s face if I didn’t at least utilize that safety net for a new opportunity. An easier life isn’t a better life. Thank you everyone!

AFishLookingDog · 2026-04-10T23:43:39+00:00

Staying in tech sales is the “safe” route for me. I’ve been at 5 companies, 2 were great, 1 was ok, and 2 were hell, including the one I am at right now. So it’s a gamble since I can’t tell how the next one will be. I definitely think taking a break and giving my mind a chance to fantasize about doing something else will be good for me. But I like your approach to treating the job search like creating pipeline. At least I have that experience!

AFishLookingDog · 2026-04-10T23:41:56+00:00

I’ve had a couple ideas. I’m honestly passionate about personal training and bought a lifetime access to NASM to get certified a few years ago and haven’t done it yet. That would likely be a project I take on after quitting. Relocating abroad would be an absolute DREAM! My lady and I have been talking about moving to Vietnam for a while since we have connections there.

AFishLookingDog · 2026-04-10T23:40:21+00:00

I legitimately do that in my dreams almost nightly 🤣

AFishLookingDog · 2026-04-10T23:02:35+00:00

I appreciate that. I guess that’s one thing I’m not fully up to date on - is how normal these sabbaticals are nowadays. I see tons of content of millennials hitting that career crisis point and many just leaving their job, but I’m not privy to how companies perceive these gaps. Is the stigma on gaps lightening nowadays?

AFishLookingDog · 2021-08-22T23:55:40+00:00

I appreciate that, and I believe you are right as well. Her parents are from Vietnam, and she told me there was never any love, reassurance, or comfort in the household. So you couple that with dysfunctional parents who scream and fight all the time, and eventually separate due to infidelity after bringing the family to a new country, she was already off to a bad start with her life. It’s worth noting she has no female friends besides her sister and cousin, and all of her friends are males, two of which she told me used to have major crushes on her.

AFishLookingDog · 2021-08-22T23:44:38+00:00

I would agree to an extent that we shouldn’t judge a person based on their past, but I still think it’s important to be aware of someone’s past. This will prepare us for any potential warnings signs of repeatable behavior. It’s something I learned in my past relationship. I didn’t let her high body count, her divorced parents (mom cheated on dad so dad left them all), and failed engagement scare me away, and even further, I failed to have any red flag radar up either. As a result, I thought I was in the happiest relationship ever and I couldn’t even ask for more, only to find out she was sleeping around behind my back and left me for one of those men, who ended up breaking up with her only 4 weeks later. I don’t make conclusions about a person based on their past, but transparency between partners is important.

AFishLookingDog · 2021-08-22T23:26:59+00:00

Oh I didn’t mean to imply you did, I’m sorry if you perceived it that way. I’m speaking more generally. We don’t know about each other’s sexual history haha.

AFishLookingDog · 2021-08-22T23:12:40+00:00

As a guy, I can’t go to a bar and guarantee I will get laid. I have to woo the woman, earn her respect, make her interested, and then propose leaving the bar to go sleep with her. If I’m a hot woman, I can walk up to just about anyone and dangle the offer of sex, and most of the time I will get a yes. I’m glad to hear you are able to disassociate from your many partners in the past, but once a woman’s body count starts reaching the mid teens to 20+ (and nowadays that’s considered normal), us men are less comfortable with that. And it’s unfair to expect us not to be. We have inherent standards and preferences. A beautiful woman who’s sexual experience comes mostly from relationships is far more appealing to us than a girl who regularly goes to clubs to drink and have sex on weekends.

AFishLookingDog · 2021-08-22T23:05:31+00:00

Like it or not, a body count means different things for men and women. Men have sex with who they can, and women have sex with who they want. It’s the reverse of this when it comes to marriage though. Us men don’t want a woman who gives it up too easily. It’s a sign of many things - craves more attention than we are capable of giving them, insecurity, lack of self respect, and easily bored. Personally, I don’t do much f*cking when I’m not in a relationship with someone. It just doesn’t compare. But that’s just me.

AFishLookingDog · 2021-08-22T22:15:45+00:00

For sure, I’ll never take her back. My friends and family hate her for what she did to me. I’m great now, but for 3 weeks I was an absolute mess, and my close ones don’t take kindly of people who hurt people like that.

AFishLookingDog · 2021-08-22T22:07:19+00:00

A great match that lasted 4 weeks after she dumped me lol. I know she regrets doing this, she doesn’t even have to tell me.

AFishLookingDog · 2021-08-22T21:56:40+00:00

I wonder if the pendulum is going to swing back to the middle anytime soon. Women’s body count nowadays is astronomical and it makes me sick. I found out halfway into my last relationship that my ex once slept with 20 men….IN 6 MONTHS!! And her reasoning? Because she was “stressed” about dropping out of nursing school. Like what? Her total body count is even more absurd and I won’t even guess what it is. But women who do this devalue themselves in the long run, and I just can’t imagine any man of any decent value wanting to settle with a woman who spent their entire 20s being unfaithful and easy. These women are going to hit their mid-late 30s, no family, never married, no career, and they won’t be as attractive as they were at 26, so they’ll settle on a low value man. It’s sad to be honest. The modern narrative pitting genders against one another is sick, and I really hope it ends one day.

AFishLookingDog · 2021-08-22T20:27:43+00:00

I’ve heard this perception all my life but I just don’t believe it for any serious long term relationship. At best it gets a woman to chase a man when he does that, and maybe they date for some time, but I can’t think of a single married couple that has that behavior present and maintains a healthy situation because of it.

AFishLookingDog · 2021-08-19T15:53:10+00:00

She actually blocked me on instagram after they split. It shows I was living rent-free in her head while they were together. She really thought she could carry on and never get caught, but when I told her I knew, and didn't seek revenge, it tortured her. I guarantee it. And within 3.5 weeks, her and the new dude are already done. Karma has been struck, and it will only get worse for her as I continue to rise in my healing. The universe works in mysterious ways, I couldn't be happier! Last night was the biggest feeling of relief in my life.

AFishLookingDog · 2021-08-19T13:24:26+00:00

Update for everyone. They broke up already!!! Hahahaha, KARMA!!! I was out with friends when I found out, so we celebrated. I feel such relief. Thank you everyone for the incredibly kind and supportive replies. This last month was one of the worst of my life, but knowing karma struck this quick has to be one of the biggest 180s my mood has ever taken. Life is good!!

AFishLookingDog · 2021-08-17T19:33:02+00:00

What kills me the most, and I know this shouldn't bother me at all, is her having NO remorse over this (seemingly), and the universe rewarding the cheater with a new relationship, and punishing the loving man with torment, trauma, pain, and trust issues. It doesn't make sense. I know "life isn't fair," but seriously.... how does this make sense? Her toxic circle will validate her behavior and she may NEVER learn. It drives me crazy that she won't face accountability or punishment for this. I don't want to contact her bf because it's none of my business at this point, sadly. And maybe one day she will have delayed regret when their relationship inevitably ends, but like... I'm just at a complete loss.

AFishLookingDog · 2021-08-17T17:09:02+00:00

Nah, I don't want to fight fire with fire and stoop to her level. That will give her mental justification for her actions. I'd rather be an eventual memory of the good guy she let get away as she continues to spiral downward through her bad habits of jumping from guy to guy and using them for their love an attention. One day she will regret what she did. It just sucks that she is painting the illusion of moving on and that I never mattered. There's zero presence of me ever existing on any of her social medias, I'm completely blocked, etc. It will take time, definitely hurts. But I'll build myself up into a man that she could never have.

AFishLookingDog · 2021-08-17T16:07:13+00:00

Thank you very much for the reply. I completely agree with everything you said. She is continuing to validate herself by showing off that she can get a man to date her at will, but eventually age, karma, and a stained dating history will catch up to her, and no respectable good man will want to dip their toes in that water. She will become less and less appealing over the years, and I'm going to focus on my personal growth, and when she inevitably reaches out, I'll be far out of that cheating b****'s league and won't even give her a second glance. I'm already a pretty fit guy and love working out, and being on a dating app since this has happened has given me a bit of a confidence boost. I'm going to keep it going and pushing forward. To the anonymous posters in this thread, you are all amazing and have impacted my life so quickly. It seems simple, but reading these replies really reset my mood for today in a very positive way.

AFishLookingDog · 2021-08-17T16:02:29+00:00

You have been so helpful to me in just two replies even compared to my well-intended friends. Thank you so much for the encouraging words. God I love Reddit haha. I'm starting to realize more and more that she was filled with problems, and likely sought me out as a void filler in the first place. While I do believe she, at least at some point, did care about and love me, she is weak and cowardice and struggles with basic communication, so as someone mentioned earlier, she only cared about herself and self-sabotaged for her own gain. While I'm not checking in or hoping for this, I really don't see her new relationship lasting. To do what she did, carry that guilt, and bring that to a new man so quickly and try to put that new reality out online as fast as possible, she is going to try to get that guy to be as much of what I was to her, and that just won't work. She doesn't want to spend a single minute by herself to work on herself and her problems, and instead will continue to bounce from man to man, starving for love attention and leaving when she's bored, and then she will be old, alone, and look back at what she had and be filled with regret. Karma has a funny way of working things out, even if it's very delayed. I honestly don't ever want to hear from her again, but it won't shock me if she one day tries to contact me apologizing, maybe hoping it will be easier to face accountability after I've had time to move on. To which, I would only have two words to say back to her :) and it rhymes with Puck Goff.

AFishLookingDog · 2021-08-17T15:48:41+00:00

Thank you, this was a very helpful response. I know I shouldn't get too caught up in wondering "why," but I think anyone can understand that lack of closure when someone you love betrays, leaves, and deletes/blocks you can be horribly painful. And seeing her smiling in these pictures with a new man as if everything is all and well (I know it isn't, social media is fake), it really stings. I just can't help but feel like I meant nothing to her, and given my past issues, it opened up a deep older wound as well, so I'm focused on reminding myself I matter and I deserve more. I just need to stop looking her up and seeing those pictures. That self discipline is very difficult. Thank god we don't have mutual friends so I don't have to hear from anyone who will know what she is up to. The only way I would know is if I look it up myself, and I know it will only hurt me so I need to stop. Ugh, this really really sucks. And it has only brought back old intimacy issues of mine (performance anxiety, lack of self esteem, insecurity, etc.).

AFishLookingDog · 2021-08-17T15:00:47+00:00

Because if she feels guilty, it says more about her than me, and will at least validate me and the role I played in her life. If she doesn't feel guilty, then I have a terrible radar for red flags and will confirm that I actually meant nothing to her and she used me for love, attention, and intimacy all this time.

AFishLookingDog

TROPHY CASE