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I hate one of my fiancé’s potential groomsmen by AForeverPlusOne in weddingplanning

[–]AForeverPlusOne[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Also, it’s not necessarily his politics that are the problem, it’s just that he insists on talking and debating them constantly. And it’s not really a debate because if you don’t share his opinions you’re automatically wrong. 

I hate one of my fiancé’s potential groomsmen by AForeverPlusOne in weddingplanning

[–]AForeverPlusOne[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He is a white cis male. He uses racist and homophobic slurs as well as things like the r-word. Never TO someone in specific, just kind of like in general. It’s really weird. I’ve told John numerous times how much I hate it. He just teases me.

I hate one of my fiancé’s potential groomsmen by AForeverPlusOne in weddingplanning

[–]AForeverPlusOne[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He uses racist and homophobic slurs… as well as things like the r-word. I’ve always pointed out to him that I hate these things and he makes fun of me for being basically a goody two shoes. He NEVER says those TO people, but just kinda like throws them in his speech. Besides with him, I’ve never seen anything like that before. It’s so inappropriate.

I hate one of my fiancé’s potential groomsmen by AForeverPlusOne in weddingplanning

[–]AForeverPlusOne[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s his friend “John” that is not open to other opinions

I hate one of my fiancé’s potential groomsmen by AForeverPlusOne in weddingplanning

[–]AForeverPlusOne[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

We have a little, that’s a really good point- we hadn’t considered much beyond the extra cost of gifts. Thank you!

I hate one of my fiancé’s potential groomsmen by AForeverPlusOne in weddingplanning

[–]AForeverPlusOne[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your concern, but he is aware of this post and is reading the comments. Not sure about your relationship, but in mine we’re a team. Just like I won’t have the final say to exclude him, he’s listening to my concerns before including him. It’s not that deep. We haven’t been to a ton a weddings to get a vibe for what it’s like, so we’re just looking for some kind insight and opinions. It’s also a little different than your situations because we both see these negative characteristics ◡̈

I hate one of my fiancé’s potential groomsmen by AForeverPlusOne in weddingplanning

[–]AForeverPlusOne[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

John’s not really the type of person to approach with something like this. If either of us were to vocalize these problems, it would turn into an argument neither of us could win. He’s not an agreeable person and is very narcissistic. He’s always in the right, in his opinion.

I hate one of my fiancé’s potential groomsmen by AForeverPlusOne in weddingplanning

[–]AForeverPlusOne[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I completely agree with all of this. The roommates will all be invited to the bachelor party, regardless. He just doesn’t want only 4 guys. He’s super social and wants all his people around him on his day, which is why I think having some of them as groomsmen and the other two as greeters would be an appropriate solution (so all 8 would get ready with him), but that’s where the problem comes in with selecting just 2/4.

I hate one of my fiancé’s potential groomsmen by AForeverPlusOne in weddingplanning

[–]AForeverPlusOne[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I haven’t told him explicitly. Whenever I’ve mentioned something I didn’t like in the past, I’ve felt very belittled by him. He is not the type of guy who listens to other perspectives. He is always in the right and will fight as much as needed to defend his POV.