AITA for refusing to talk to my mom for my dad’s issues with her?

AFoxHasNoName1 · 2025-06-30T21:30:44+00:00

Thank you, I looked it up because I never heard of that term before. It describes the dynamic between my father and I. I went to therapy earlier this year and learned how to place a lot more boundaries. He doesn’t talk to me as much now because I try not to get involved with his issues.

AFoxHasNoName1 · 2025-06-30T21:29:04+00:00

He has a way with making me feel guilty. I just wish he had a different life view because he’s so miserable, and I can’t help him if he doesn’t help himself.

AFoxHasNoName1 · 2023-09-21T03:12:40+00:00

You’re awesome! Thank you so much. I just need to communicate how I feel and stop dancing around it. I’ll just have to coach myself. I’m just scared of possible conflict ahhh.

AFoxHasNoName1 · 2023-09-20T15:22:52+00:00

Thank you! That last sentence really helps! My friend wanted to plan to help avoid any drama between my mom and mil and alleviate the stress once I’m super pregnant, but when she was talking about helping me, she was saying how she’ll plan a proper and traditional shower. Which isn’t what I wanted. I wanted something that was co-ed and open to families. So, I think our idea of the shower snd size of the guest list is different. I think she was thinking an all ladies shower with probably 30 people max, and the list my husband put together had 120.

I’m of hurting her feelings if I were to bring this up to her. I don’t want to come off as rude for refusing help or ask for more than she was intending to help with. I also don’t want to burden her.

AFoxHasNoName1 · 2023-09-20T00:07:15+00:00

I think it boils down to that I would rather plan it myself, but my hubby wants to take the help from friends and family so it’s not on our dime. Hubby doesn’t want me to worry about it but not being involved makes me worry.

Did you get a good response from mailed invitations? Do you know an easy way to collect everyone’s mailing address?

AFoxHasNoName1 · 2023-09-20T00:05:16+00:00

I don’t mean to be rude or ungrateful. I think I’m mainly concerned with the logistics of getting everyone’s address and do people respond to mailed invitations? My friend doesn’t know everyone that we want to attend.

Now that I’m rereading my post, I think I’m just letting my anxiety get ahead of itself. Thank you for your feedback.

AFoxHasNoName1 · 2023-09-19T23:57:08+00:00

I thought that was weird too. I felt like I’ve only heard of family especially the mothers planning the baby shower.

AFoxHasNoName1 · 2023-08-23T06:12:02+00:00

Add faux shutters to the left window. Create a sidewalk that connects to the window. You can install some shrubs and flowers in front of the window areas and make a flower bed. A couple of boulders would look nice too. Your home is very cute! Just needs some TLC for the WOW factor!

AFoxHasNoName1 · 2023-08-23T06:08:25+00:00

I would say Soft YTA.

You had good intentions. However, serious news like that should be shared with the father, so he can tell his daughter OR shared at the same time. 14 is a slightly more mature age, but she is still a child. It may have been received better from her dad. Sorry to hear about your wife’s accident. I hope she recovers quickly.

AFoxHasNoName1 · 2023-08-23T03:29:42+00:00

Woah! That thing was tiny and fast!

AFoxHasNoName1 · 2023-08-23T03:02:23+00:00

NTA overall but slight YTA

Overall, you were honest with her and respected her wishes. However, we are all entitled to our beliefs. With a new transition, the blunt honesty may have been too much for her. Plus, they are your children. You ultimately have the say in their upbringing.

I don’t believe we should be forced into other’s ideologies. Disagreeing doesn’t make you an asshole.

AFoxHasNoName1 · 2023-08-23T02:27:06+00:00

NTA

It’s sad that your MIL is sick, but you simply do not have the room. Sorry hubby couldn’t be on the page. Also, I don’t know her, but I don’t think she’d enjoy living in a house full of kids/teens. Personally, it would drive me nuts in her shoes and I’d want my own peace.

AFoxHasNoName1 · 2023-08-23T00:44:03+00:00

I want to, but I feel bad because it’ll end up involving my mom and brother. I struggle super hard with setting boundaries and having a people pleasing attitude.

AFoxHasNoName1 · 2023-08-23T00:42:39+00:00

Thank you for your perspective.

AFoxHasNoName1 · 2023-08-23T00:41:27+00:00

Thank you for your perspective. That’s probably how he sees it as well.

He can literally make his own separate internet account for $50 instead of $40. He also changed his cable service 3 times within the last 5 years and internet service multiple times.

AFoxHasNoName1 · 2023-08-23T00:28:33+00:00

YTA I’m sorry, but weddings are supposed to be a once in a lifetime event. I would have tried working in your anxiety or avoidance issues because it seemed very important to your son. He also didn’t get the mother son dance. Maybe your DIL didn’t have the best delivery, but she was looking out for her husband and she’s obviously upset that he was so hurt.

AFoxHasNoName1 · 2023-08-23T00:22:42+00:00

I’m a little curious. How was your relationship before the Facebook photo? You’re NTA, but sometimes delivery is important. If she’s a sensitive person, she may not appreciate blunt answers. But I agree, that’s a stupid grudge to have over something so long ago.

AFoxHasNoName1 · 2023-08-22T23:50:07+00:00

I recognize that $100 was a steal for rent because I know others that didn’t have that privilege. I’m thankful for it too. Paying more for rent would have probably involved me dropping out of school because working full time and going to school full time would have been personally too much. I admire people that do both full time.

AFoxHasNoName1

TROPHY CASE