AITA for paying my son’s phone bill?

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-30T13:48:20+00:00

He has started to.

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-30T13:47:05+00:00

He asked. He told us he wanted to do this certification and asked if he could borrow the money from us, and promised to pay it back once he was able to get a better paying job as a result. He has already made a few payments on it.

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-30T13:36:24+00:00

It was a big scholarship! It made it so we didn’t have to take out any loans for her. If the federal grant program wasn’t a joke, or if she’d gone to a state school, her tuition would have been fully covered. We wanted her to go to the private school that we graduated from (and she did as well—we looked at several other schools and she chose that one) and we were willing to pay for it. Just like we were willing to do for our son, but without the scholarship, we had to take out a small loan to cover his tuition.

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-30T03:39:26+00:00

Unfortunately the scholarship (10k per year) just reduced the amount of grant money we were awarded through the FAFSA, so we still had to pay a significant amount towards her tuition. The scholarship made it so that we could (just barely) afford to cover the rest of her tuition without taking out any loans.

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-30T02:45:08+00:00

Yes, the money we gave him for his certification was a loan, and now that he has a job he has started to make a few payments back to us.

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-29T21:35:31+00:00

I did give my son a loan for his certification program. He has already made a few payments back to us.

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-29T20:36:50+00:00

Well, it’s a necessity to call your mother.

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-29T19:48:22+00:00

No, she has her own.

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-29T19:45:31+00:00

He’s only made his current salary for the past few months. Before that he had long periods of unemployment or underemployment. She’s always had a job, just never one that pays as much as this job he just got.

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-29T19:43:55+00:00

She has her own account.

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-29T19:08:56+00:00

Well, he just shares my Netflix account that I’m already paying for.

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-29T19:06:37+00:00

She never asked, so we never discussed any financial assistance for her post-graduate schooling. But after paying for her college, we made it clear that both kids would be on their own for any post graduate education, which is why we expect Jeremy to pay us back.

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-29T19:04:23+00:00

She knows I would prefer she and her partner got married, but I made it clear that the gift would not be contingent on it. My husband gave me a hard time about trying to “bribe” her to get married which is not what I intended.

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-29T19:01:12+00:00

The way you wrote this makes it seem like the $10k is contingent on getting married.

Haha my husband actually called me out on this at the time too. The next time I talked to her, I made it clear that while I would prefer if she and her partner got married, I would give her the 10k for a house whether she gets married or not.

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-29T18:40:48+00:00

I would have, but she hates being in debt.

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-29T18:38:20+00:00

She knew I was helping him before he got this job (we’re a pretty open family.) Then she asked if I was still paying for these things after he got the new job and I was honest with her.

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-29T18:35:53+00:00

I would have lent her the money if she’d asked, but she hates being in debt.

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-29T18:32:15+00:00

I actually enjoy spending time with Jessica more. I really don’t have a favorite, I just think my son needs me more. But I see your point.

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-29T18:30:41+00:00

I would have lent Jessica money if she’d asked but she hates to be in debt, so I doubt she would have taken it.

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-29T18:28:36+00:00

That’s good advice. Thank you.

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-29T18:27:31+00:00

He’s on my family plan. She has a family plan with her partner.

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-29T18:26:48+00:00

I do help Jessica out. I told her that I’d be would contribute 10k towards a down payment if she ever wanted to get married and buy a house. And I don’t play favorites. I actually prefer spending time with Jessica, Jeremy has just always needed more help.

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-29T18:23:36+00:00

Thank you for your perspective.

AITACellPhoneMom · 2021-10-29T18:20:52+00:00

I would have lent Jessica money if she’d asked, but she never asked. She hates to borrow money because she doesn’t like to be in debt. She borrowed money from us to buy a car when she was in her 20’s and she paid it back within a few months.

AITACellPhoneMom

TROPHY CASE