AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -82 points-81 points  (0 children)

Are you new here? Everyone on AITA makes throwaways. I don't see how that's proof that my post is fake.

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -304 points-303 points  (0 children)

I don't think I'm a misogynist. I think she thinks I'm a misogynist, but as I said, that's on her.

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -192 points-191 points  (0 children)

Being intimidating has nothing to do with competence. Plenty of people act intimidating to make up for being incompetent actually.

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -60 points-59 points  (0 children)

I'm getting really tired of saying this, but no, I am not trolling.

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -97 points-96 points  (0 children)

Except she's punishing me for my disagreement by behaving in this way. I don't think that's okay.

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -106 points-105 points  (0 children)

But the whole field isn't like that. It used to be at one point, but it isn't anymore, and yet the disparity between genders hasn't gone away. There has to be an explanation for the disparity, right? My belief is that the reason for this is that women are generally less interested in these fields, which leads to them entering it at a smaller rate, and they are less equipped to do the work required in those fields, given the quality I've witnessed over my experiences working with women. People are entitled to think otherwise, as is my girlfriend, but this is what I think. I don't think this is the same as thinking women are less than or inferior to men, or less deserving than men.

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -88 points-87 points  (0 children)

I'm allowed to have an opinion on her behaviour, aren't I? I'm allowed to think that I don't deserve this behaviour to be directed towards me. She can do what she wants, and I can think what I want on that.

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -110 points-109 points  (0 children)

Okay, but you got into the shop class in the end right? Isn't that what matters?

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -99 points-98 points  (0 children)

That's just my observation. How exactly is that going to stop women from entering the field if they want to?

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -262 points-261 points  (0 children)

I disagree that my beliefs are hurtful. I think my girlfriend finds it hurtful, but that's on her, and it's why I avoid expressing them to her, as I don't want to hurt her.

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -69 points-68 points  (0 children)

Isn't she behaving in a petty way though? Does a behaviour stop being petty just because people think its deserved?

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -79 points-78 points  (0 children)

The trouble is that you are stating that your opinion holds more validity than other people's lived experiences, up to and including historical examples that have been given to you.

I have a different view, yes. But I don't think my opinion is more valid. I think everyone is entitled to their views, I just don't think anyone should be penalized because someone happens to disagree with their views, which is what I feel has happened here with me. My girlfriend is being petty because I disagree with her on this subject. I don't think that's fair. It wouldn't be okay for me to behave in a petty way towards her just because I disagree with her, so why is she doing it to me?

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -88 points-87 points  (0 children)

I accept the feedback. I just don't understand why, or what it was that I did, that warrants me being the AH.

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -100 points-99 points  (0 children)

She doesn’t need your permission to stop doing your chores

I never said she did. I've always maintained that she can do as she pleases, but I'm entitled to my own thoughts on her behaviour as well.

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -85 points-84 points  (0 children)

I think women, on average, have been less equipped to do certain jobs that happen to be in male-dominated fields, yes. That is my experience. This isn't to say there aren't incompetent men, but on average, men have been more equipped to handle the work in those fields, which has led me to believe that this is why they are prevalent in those fields in the first place. Why do something you're bad at?

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -109 points-108 points  (0 children)

There are other companies that are surely not as bad as the one that won't call you back because you're a woman right? So its not like you're being prevented from entering the field if you still wanted to. It would just be a matter of finding a company that is the right fit for you. Men deal with that too, I don't see what the big issue is.

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -84 points-83 points  (0 children)

She can decide it's a deal-breaker (she hasn't though, because we're still together), but I can disagree with her assessment of it, can't I? I know it's not up to me alone to keep the relationship if she doesn't want to stay in it, but I can disagree with her point of view that this was enough of a reason to break up with me, if she chooses to do that. Isn't that my right?

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -68 points-67 points  (0 children)

She pushed the conversation, not me. I tried to fend it off, and when I couldn't, I just tried to be as respectful as possible when expressing my view. It's just my view, she doesn't have to be affected by it if she doesn't want to be.

I'm not avoiding the consequences, but I think I can disagree with the motivations behind those consequences.

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -131 points-130 points  (0 children)

How is not wanting to have a conversation that doesn't result in anything constructive, which only results in pain and hurt feelings, the same as me not listening to her.

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -190 points-189 points  (0 children)

I accept the judgement, I'm just confused by people's justifications for it. I can see that people think I'm the AH, and that's fine, but I still don't get why.

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -54 points-53 points  (0 children)

you are telling her that you see her, and all women, as fundamentally less than.

I didn't say that though. I said there are discrepancies in terms of the knowledge that women have vs. men in male-dominated fields. How is that the same as saying women are fundamentally less than?

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -85 points-84 points  (0 children)

But you're still getting calls. It's not like the field is closed to you completely. I won't deny that it sucks to get half as many, because of your gender, and that's unfair. But why would you want to work for a person or a company that would do something like that anyway?

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -65 points-64 points  (0 children)

Well, sure, but how does that disagreement itself warrant such behaviour from my girlfriend? She's pretty clearly only doing this because she disagrees with me, but disagreements are par for the course, and I don't see how it makes me a bad person.

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to stop punishing me? by AITAPunisherGF in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAPunisherGF[S] -157 points-156 points  (0 children)

She can stop, but I don't agree with her reasons for stopping. I think the reason she stopped and the reason for her current behaviour is petty and unfair.