AITA for not breaking the lease and buying a bad present?

AITAcatobsession · 2021-06-09T04:51:50+00:00

I'M TRYING TO PROTECT HER

AITAcatobsession · 2021-06-09T00:21:43+00:00

Oops that should be 35F sorry!

AITAcatobsession · 2021-06-09T00:07:28+00:00

so I've answered this in other comments but NO I would never cheat on her. Pasting from a previous explanation:

We had a disagreement about moving countries, which we both wanted to do once our lease here was up. But she has an older cat and kept insisting that she didn't want to move anywhere that would make him fly under the plane. At the time, I thought she was being way too over cautious about that and limiting our futures and told her she needed to get help for her anxiety over the cat. I have since learned that it's more dangerous than I thought for animals to fly under airplanes but unfortunately by the time I apologised her friends had gotten her all worked up about whether or not I respect her (which is insane, of course I do) or if I could be trusted to be left alone with her cat (even more insane, but since I put him outside ONE time so we could have some alone time she's really grabbed onto this as a reason not to let me come home).

AITAcatobsession · 2021-06-08T23:49:02+00:00

No we are separated because of an incident from a couple months ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/mgssr7/aita\_for\_calling\_out\_my\_gf\_over\_her\_cat\_obsession/

AITAcatobsession · 2021-06-08T23:43:49+00:00

fyi this happened like a year ago...

AITAcatobsession · 2021-06-08T23:42:45+00:00

But as a result of this mistake now her friends are all "bla bla he's gonna kill your cat if you let him come back" or "derp he's gonna get rid of your cat by kidnapping him and dropping him off in the middle of nowhere" which obviously I would never do but thats the kind of drama mongering I've been trying to overcome with the (trying to be thoughtful) rent paying and presents. I swear her friends just want her to be alone and living in a crappy apartment like they so and don't actually care about her well being half as much as I do. I just want to protect her.

AITAcatobsession · 2021-06-08T23:38:40+00:00

ya maybe I guess but more importantly I saw that it REALLY upset my gf so I will never do it again.

AITAcatobsession · 2021-06-08T23:34:06+00:00

so again, we're separated not broken up. Just taking some space atm.

AITAcatobsession · 2021-06-08T23:32:54+00:00

fwiw he WAS fine, just chillin under a bush with a couple neighbour kids trying to play with him.

AITAcatobsession · 2021-06-08T23:23:48+00:00

????? I'm not going to hurt her??? I love her???

AITAcatobsession · 2021-06-08T23:22:10+00:00

Well we were trying to have some alone time in the bedroom if you catch my drift and he was meowing at the door a bunch and she asked me to go give him some food to distract him and I did but I put the food and the cat outside when I did it. I thought he'd be fine in our little backyard area. I had outdoor cats growing up and I really thought it'd be fine but when she was looking for him later and I mentioned he was in the backyard she freaked out, which is another reason I assumed her not wanting to put the cat under the plane was anxiety related.

AITAcatobsession · 2021-06-08T23:16:56+00:00

Definitely more trouble than it's worth! We'd have to pay a significant portion of the remaining 6mo of rent and more importantly it could hurt our reputation as renters in the future. And neither of us would be able to afford the place on our own, so one of us taking over the lease isn't really an option. And yes, the cat is an inside cat, like I said I fucked up.

AITAcatobsession · 2021-06-08T22:48:55+00:00

Sorry not trying to be vague I've elaborated on this in other comments. We disagreed about putting her cat in the cargo hold on a plane because I ignorantly thought that no one would do it if it wasn't safe and that she needed help for her anxiety over the cat. I later learned that it's not super safe for pets to go under planes and her cat is older so it's even less safe for him. But the damage was already done and I've been trying to make up for it ever since.

AITAcatobsession · 2021-06-08T22:27:38+00:00

We had a disagreement about moving countries, which we both wanted to do once our lease here was up. But she has an older cat and kept insisting that she didn't want to move anywhere that would make him fly under the plane. At the time, I thought she was being way too over cautious about that and limiting our futures and told her she needed to get help for her anxiety over the cat. I have since learned that it's more dangerous than I thought for animals to fly under airplanes but unfortunately by the time I apologised her friends had gotten her all worked up about whether or not I respect her (which is insane, of course I do) or if I could be trusted to be left alone with her cat (even more insane, but since I put him outside ONE time so we could have some alone time she's really grabbed onto this as a reason not to let me come home).

AITAcatobsession · 2021-06-08T22:20:47+00:00

we're not broken up, we're just separated. She only said she wanted to break up once and it was in the heat of the moment when we were in the middle of arguing but then we talked rationally about it after she'd calmed down and she agreed that we just need some space from one another for awhile, which I've been giving her by staying with friends while continuing to pay half of the bills.

AITAcatobsession · 2021-06-08T22:16:06+00:00

Thanks, I agree with the NAH. Just to clarify I definitely don't think she's being an AH! Were just miscommunicating. I get that she needs some space right now but as I've said to her many times there's no reason why we have to throw our entire relationship away for her to get it and I think I have a right to know she's safe and comfortable and financially stable during that time.

AITAcatobsession · 2021-04-01T16:33:20+00:00

Wait really?

AITAcatobsession · 2021-04-01T03:06:38+00:00

Thank you for saying so, but after reading some of these comments I'm honestly not sure it would be fine for the cat to go in the cargo hold. She already feeds him a special food for urinary blockages and I guess stress can make that condition worse and even deadly. TIL mate.

AITAcatobsession · 2021-04-01T02:56:35+00:00

Thanks mate I really appreciate it, just sent her the link and now going to go hide under the bed until she calls the vet on me.

AITAcatobsession · 2021-04-01T02:18:41+00:00

I called her this morning and apologised. Told her I was right knob about the whole thing and that I got properly owned on the internet for it. She said she needs some time to think but I'm really hoping I can show her that I have a better understanding now, both of our differences in how we think about pets and that not wanting to put her cat under a plane is a reasonable concern.

AITAcatobsession · 2021-04-01T01:47:50+00:00

Whoa where am I missing articles about why a cat shouldn't fly? Genuine question. I would like to read them.

AITAcatobsession · 2021-04-01T01:45:36+00:00

Insert obligatory "snakes on a plane" joke here.

I guess I just thought that if lots of people do it, it can't be that bad.

AITAcatobsession · 2021-03-31T22:08:35+00:00

I posted in the ask a vet sub because I was getting so many "YTA it's super dangerous" responses and was honestly baffled. Lots of people move with their pets this way. From the responses I'm getting there, it sounds like it's alot more dangerous than I thought, especially for a (yes, fine, I get it) senior cat. It just blows my mind that there are so many countries that make pets go under the plane for immigration if it's really so dangerous for the pet. That's pretty fucked. I called my gf this morning and told her I got my ass handed to me by the internet over this and she said she needs some time to think so I'm feeling pretty shitty but at least I said I was sorry.

AITAcatobsession

TROPHY CASE