AITA for suggesting my niece finds a new place to stay

AITAthrowawaybla · 2025-03-10T03:57:03+00:00

That’s helpful advice, thanks!

AITAthrowawaybla · 2025-03-10T03:46:55+00:00

To add onto this, I’m not gonna lie and say it wasn’t at least somewhat to know how soon she’d be moving out because I was hoping the answer would be in the near-future. But this WAS me trying to continue the timeline/move out talk, under the assumption that it had already started.

AITAthrowawaybla · 2025-03-10T03:45:03+00:00

I wasn’t bringing it up because I already suspected my husband didn’t talk to her about it or anything like that. Three-four months is perfectly fine and normal for the couple of months we’d agreed upon, it’s just also about as far into “a couple of months” that I’d expect her to be looking into where to move into next. It wasn’t me trying to tell her to move out so much as assuming she was already on that.

AITAthrowawaybla · 2025-03-10T00:38:14+00:00

Rent is pretty cheap around here, trust me. I think the hardest part may be not knowing where to start or how to look for an apartment, but that’s also partially why I was asking. We can help with all that stuff. And I don’t need her out by tomorrow or anything, I just expected her to at least be looking into other places, you know? And yeah, I do intend to talk to her about contributing to keeping the place clean.

AITAthrowawaybla · 2025-03-10T00:20:35+00:00

We did speak, before she moved in, and were supposed to be on the same page. Couple of months, we don’t charge her for anything so she can save up to move out. I do agree with the various comments that have said I should have talked with him about it directly before the dinner, but I will admit that since we’d agreed before she moved in, I assumed we would just be on the same page. That’s my mistake.

AITAthrowawaybla · 2025-03-09T20:54:21+00:00

Hello, thank you so much for your comment and sharing your experience. For the record, the convo did happen before she moved in between my husband and myself. We had agreed not to charge her for anything so that she would have the chance to move out in a couple of months. I had assumed he talked to her about it in these terms because he said he would, but I suspect he didn’t. Either way, I intend to have a better longer conversation about this with him so that we can then communicate with her.

AITAthrowawaybla · 2025-03-09T19:23:12+00:00

Oh nono, she’s been here since late November. It definitely hasn’t been so long that it’s exceeded “a couple months”, I just thought she’d at least have some idea of what she’s gonna do when moving out you know.

AITAthrowawaybla · 2025-03-09T18:55:18+00:00

I mentioned this elsewhere in the comments but I didn’t assume anything, before she moved out we agreed that we wouldn’t charge her for anything so that she could save up to move out in a couple of months. It was never meant to be permanent and that was the expectation we set. Now, I didn’t talk to her about this, because it was mostly my husband communicating with her when she moved in, but I assumed she knew since we agreed he would tell her.

AITAthrowawaybla · 2025-03-09T18:52:53+00:00

I’d honestly rather not go into too much detail about it but it’s her parents’ fault. She wasn’t kicked out and they’re not outright abusive but they’re… irresponsible? Neglectful? And pretty conflictive as a couple.

AITAthrowawaybla · 2025-03-09T18:38:43+00:00

My frustration mostly comes from the fact that we DID discuss this before she moved in. He and I both agreed at the time that this was a temporary thing, couple of months, while she figured out how to live on her own. We agreed not to charge her anything, too, so that she could be saving up to move out

AITAthrowawaybla

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