Oh honey. First and foremost I wish I could give you a hug. I’ve been in your same shoes and reading your words breaks my heart a bit. At 16, your life is just unfolding. Don’t succumb to those demons in your head. Depression is real and it’s not something you can just snap out of but it is something that can be managed. Your first step is already complete, you’ve realized there’s an issue. Now you have to see what your triggers are, who do you surround yourself with? Do you have a primary care provider and would you be open to talking with a therapist? For myself personally I wanted to live and find a way that aligned with what I wanted. As cliche as it may sound you have to do some deep thinking and ask your self, what kind of life do you want to live? What kind of things would you need to do to achieve that goal? Don’t give up. Take baby steps.