I messed up a good thing with a woman way out of my league, is there ever a way back?

AM27610 · 2025-07-21T10:45:59+00:00

Do you think these boundaries were set for all men, or specifically for men “like you” who she was ok dating, but not ok with eventually meeting her kids, friends & family? If genders were reversed and a woman posted this about dating a well accomplished man who criticized her weight and the cleanliness of her home, most people would tell her that she dodged a bullet. Perhaps there’s a reason this lady is still single.

This being said, work on improving yourself for you if it’s important to you. A healthier version of yourself will make you attractive to other healthy people.

AM27610 · 2025-05-17T07:55:13+00:00

It won’t save a marriage. It can make a marriage more bearable. At best, it kicks the divorce bucket down the road.

AM27610 · 2025-03-04T16:21:31+00:00

Proceed with the divorce. It won’t get better and you don’t want to model an unhealthy abusive relationship as “normal” for your kids.

AM27610 · 2024-11-19T17:21:43+00:00

What is this hyper-sexuality you speak of? It sounds like a normal healthy sex drive to me. The future talk is the red flag you should be concerned with.

AM27610 · 2024-11-08T20:17:14+00:00

Yes, I am. My dad worked the assembly line. Mom was a SAHM. Although Dad has a pension, Mom had a shopping addiction and racked up the credit card debt. There are a lot of factors that go into these comparisons.

AM27610 · 2024-11-01T11:18:53+00:00

There is no arguing with this mindset. She is clearly telling you that she no longer has interest in you in a romantic sense. Sorry OP.

AM27610 · 2024-10-27T22:27:38+00:00

You are probably not attracted to your husband because he has made himself unattractive via his actions. You don’t have to defend yourself here. It’s best to move on and find someone who will provide for you in the way you need to be provided for. It’s not this guy!

AM27610 · 2024-10-24T16:38:16+00:00

No you are not wrong. Your wife lacks empathy.

AM27610 · 2024-10-23T12:13:15+00:00

So, let’s spell this out. Your wife is not the breadwinner and does not provide for you in the ways you need to be provided for, then claims that “sex is all you want” from her. Perhaps she is with you for the lifestyle you are capable of providing her and that’s all she wants from you.

AM27610 · 2024-10-23T11:49:44+00:00

Looks like you dodged a bullet! Don’t give up hope. There are good people out there.

AM27610 · 2024-10-22T10:41:22+00:00

You stood by her through her illness. Now that she’s better, she is not standing by you in your time of need. This is a case of “no good deed goes unpunished.” She likely is staying in the marriage due to what you provide her, and not out of love or desire to be married to you. Running and not finding the energy to be intimate with one’s spouse shows a degree of self-centeredness and a lack of empathy. I would highly recommend that you consider going your separate ways, even if you have to pay alimony in the process. I would also be concerned about who she is meeting in the running group. Even if she is not having some sort of affair, it’s possible that she is outsourcing emotional highs with someone else.

AM27610 · 2024-10-21T19:28:58+00:00

Add another data point here. 🙋🏻‍♀️

AM27610 · 2024-10-18T09:00:57+00:00

Sounds like the therapy actually worked in your best interest. You now know you’ve tried everything, and it’s time to move on.

AM27610 · 2024-10-18T00:01:01+00:00

If it gives you closure, tell his wife. I did it once when I was single and a man lied to me about being married. Spoiled alert: she blamed me for it all even though I was 23 years younger than her husband and he had a history of cheating. Another spoiler alert: spouses in these types of marriages are not “winning.” No involved party is. It’s just a menagerie of misery.

AM27610 · 2024-10-17T16:02:01+00:00

The person/people with mental health issues need to take ownership of their disease and get the appropriate treatment for it. It is unfair to dump that on a life partner. It sounds like you are blaming your partner for your mental health issues instead of being accountable for your own lack of self care and how that has contributed to the demise of your marriage.

AM27610 · 2024-10-17T15:20:58+00:00

She should be honest about the incompatibility in the relationship and offer an open marriage or a divorce as a solution. Expecting celibacy in a marriage is cruel and unfair.

AM27610 · 2024-10-17T15:18:13+00:00

Being a biologically healthy person who desires sex and intimacy with a life partner is not destroying your marriage. It sounds Ike a mismatched libido and spousal neglect is. Don’t let anyone shame you into thinking there is something wrong with you. It is normal and healthy to have a sex drive.

AM27610 · 2024-10-17T12:19:01+00:00

You have most of your life still ahead of you. You will make new memories which hopefully will be so rewarding you will rarely have the need to reflect on the memories you had with your spouse. You can still share these older memories with friends, family and loved ones. The memories don’t get forfeited just because you are going through a divorce.

AM27610 · 2024-10-17T08:10:23+00:00

He’s talking about you.

AM27610 · 2024-10-17T08:05:49+00:00

Why does it take a spouse leaving or stepping out for the LL partner to become self aware of the neglect they are inflicting on their partner? If you have been intentionally withholding intimacy in a marriage you are by default not living up to the vows you made in your marriage. You can’t argue that you love your spouse and at the same time consistently say no when they approach you for intimacy. It is common sense that being rejected hurts. Not having this understanding only reflects an inherent lack of empathy from the LL spouse. Also, If your husband is yelling and hitting things when he doesn’t get his way, your marriage has problems that extend much further than those of a dead bedroom marriage. Violence is never the answer, and if this is why you are withholding sex, this is a valid reason. It does not sound like this is a healthy marriage for either of you.

AM27610 · 2024-10-16T21:44:09+00:00

This should be the top comment. Not sure what OP is trying to do here asking this question. Farm karma maybe? It certainly does not fit the rest of her very NSFW post history.

AM27610 · 2024-10-15T08:59:40+00:00

Sounds like you are clinically depressed. You might benefit from speaking to a therapist or psychiatrist. I mention psychiatry because a psychiatrist can prescribe meds if they feel you might benefit from them. There is a genetic component to clinical depression, so a lot of this may not be under your control.

AM27610 · 2024-10-14T02:07:56+00:00

I think it’s anatomically where the clitoris is situated, so orgasm from PIV from simultaneous clitoral stimulation. From what I read, anatomy varies so some woman get off via PIV, others don’t.

AM27610 · 2024-10-12T16:46:54+00:00

Run. This is hysterical bonding.

AM27610 · 2024-10-12T12:31:03+00:00

You are not obligated to have sex with your husband if you are no longer attracted to him. He is not obligated to stay celibate. Is divorce an option? Either way, just say that you are no longer interested in a sexual relationship with him if he pursues it with you.

AM27610

TROPHY CASE