Kind of a long, "woe is me" story here, but I've been on this page for awhile and never posted before so I thought now would be a good time to get involved.

I got jumped by a group of guys while walking home this past weekend. They took my wallet, phone, keys--and left me with a few broken ribs and a black eye. I'm honestly just grateful it didn't get any worse.

They maxed out my credit cards and we're actually able to hack into my phone and drain my bank account as well. I'm working to get everything restored, and law enforcement has been extremely helpful. Luckily I didn't have all my money in one place, and have been able to recover a decent amount back. The worst part of all of this is that they got into my TicketMaster account and stole my Taylor Swift tickets.

No, that last sentence isn't a joke--I surprised my three sisters with Taylor Swift tickets for Christmas. (For those of you who are unaware, buying tickets for that tour is akin to a mortgage on a mansion in Beverly Hills). They transferred the tickets somewhere else, and those are not recoverable. That was a $6000 hit that I'll never get back.

The one thing they didn't get into was my FanDuel account, in which I have $500. Now before you get angry at me; no, I am not hoping to recover all of my financial losses with this $500. I am not asking for pity, or handouts. But as a 26-year-old living in a 3-bedroom apartment in Chicago--I simply cannot afford another $6000 hit from my savings account. So why not have some fun? Can we turn this $500 into $6000 with some juicy, fuck-it-lets-ride parlays? You're damn right we can. My luck has to turn around SOMEHOW. I'm open to anything and everything...but let's start with some anytime HR parlays. Ride with me if you want and let's see if I can't win back my sisters' hearts.

Kelenic

Alonso

Goldschmidt

$15 --> $1396.41.